CHAPTER 1
You Know
I have always had an intense sense I knew. This was very much a subjective feeling, not made up of learned opinions or facts. At an early age there seemed to be nothing I could identify as what I knew. Yet the sense I knew persisted, as though it were a core part of me. It felt like a source, or primary urge to find meaning in my life. For much of my life through to adulthood, I sought confirmation of this sense of knowing, which I likened to being aware. At the time, it seemed the only way to proceed was by asking questions.
Since I first became aware of my own thoughts, I have been asking questions about myself and others, and exploring the answers. Why did that classmate ridicule others, while I didn't want to? What ability allowed him to reduce other classmates to tears in less than five minutes? How was I to escape this fate? I also recognized, I had been asking such questions from a very early age, perhaps as young as five. If you are inclined to interpret my introspection in a negative way, bear with me; being centered in self in this way is vastly different from being self-centered. I will return to the distinction shortly.
How did I arrive at the conclusions I'm about to reveal? Quite simply, I have spent my life studying myself! The context for this includes my mind and body, as well as my relationships with people and the world around me. However, this is true for all of us; we have a natural instinct to explore. In my case, I was most interested in the mind delivering this sense of knowing. Other people's use of their minds was the perfect mirror for my exploration, though I didn't understand this at the start.
I listened intently to what others said, and pondered what I read about every facet of life. Information came readily from many sources, including the thoughts of my elders and religious interpretations of life. During my upbringing, all sorts of things were said about me; ranging from what a good boy I was, to being a disgusting little creature. Much of it just didn't sit well with me. It neither felt right nor made any sense. It confused me no end, but somehow I did not think this was my fault.
In my childhood years, it was very difficult to make sense of what I saw going on around me. Adults were acting in unpleasant ways which seemed strange, even crazy. Did you notice this when you were a child? Why would anyone choose to be unpleasant when they could be pleasant? As a child this didn't make sense to me because, with only a few exceptions, those adults around me were not making sense of life, particularly the ones who believed they were. My conclusion was; there was something about life we didn't understand.
At this stage of my life, very little felt good to me, and I knew I was very unhappy. It seemed the only good feeling I had was coming from the sense I knew. So the approach which served me best was to move along, only with the ideas which made sense to me.
Later in life, I realized this sense of knowing was not related to things of the world. Rather, it was an attribute of me which I brought to the world. It gave me a greater appreciation of life experiences, in particular, knowing I had a place in the world. So when anything made sense to me, it was because it came from an internal, subjective knowing. Coming to know myself is a process of turning my instinctive impressions into conscious understanding. How simple is that? The implication is startling; I do know the truth about myself when I hear it, or more specifically, when I conceive it. I still ask questions, but now I also have answers.
Over decades of exploration, by following the signals of my instinct, I gradually pieced together explanations which made sense. I didn't realize it at the time, but there was a sign I had been using from an early age. If something did not seem right, based on my instinctive impressions of life, then I did not accept it was true. I didn't just believe what I was told. The things I didn't understand were not discarded though. I tucked them away for consideration at a later time, in case some new evidence came to light.
So I'll set the scene with a bold question. Can you and I find the answer to any question about our life experience? What follows in this book are my answers.
If I could give you a mission in reading this book, it is to explore your sense of knowing to see if these answers are true for you. In advocating people explore their own minds, I have made a difficult choice not to cite references—though a couple of recommended readings are included. I hope by the end of the book you will understand the reason behind this decision. In essence, this book is about your sense of knowing, and I am suggesting the only reference you can use to access this is your instinctive impressions of life.
Instinctive Knowing
How could you or I possibly know anything to be true beyond doubt? Having an answer to this question is a major stumbling block for some, so I will say it plainly. The answer is threefold:
1. We have an instinctive sense which recognizes the truth about ourselves. Most people aren't taking notice of this because they have been taught not to listen to it.
2. Our true nature is the instinct felt as a range of pleasant impressions or appetites, which collectively we could call goodwill. This term doesn't seem to have a good name in some circles, but I do not mean some moral code of conduct. I use this term to refer to our natural sense that it is good to be alive—acknowledging some people have lost touch with it. Goodwill supports our continued existence, in the same way hunger supports the continued existence of the body. When we listen to it, there is no doubt in our mind.
3. Most important, we do know what is good for us because we get confirmation. Yes, there is a feedback loop! As most people aren't listening though, they miss this crucial signal.
So what is the nature of this confirmation? It is this; we know if what we have in mind is true by the effect it has on us. Every thought and action carries a pleasant or unpleasant feeling. I think of it as my gift. In other words, confirmation of what we have in mind is provided by the natural effect the thought or action has on our experience of life. In my day this was called instant karma. Note I am talking about consequences here, not conscience. Our intelligence system comes with built-in support for our instinct. You and I can know if what we have in mind is in accord with our true nature, by the effect it has on us mentally,...
