CHAPTER 1
Mixed Emotions
(August 2010)
A smile spread across my face as I watched the pink plus formon my pregnancy test. I couldn't wait to tell Patrick, my husband,the wonderful news. We were expecting another child! As theincredible news sunk in, so did my trepidation and anxiety. Mixedemotions took over as the absolute joy quickly turned into panickedfear. Not your typical reaction to a wanted pregnancy. My thoughtsbounced between the little baby growing inside of me and my lasttwo pregnancies and deliveries.
James, my first child, was born on January 12, 2009, five weeksearly following an uneventful pregnancy. By uneventful, I experiencedthe typical morning sickness during the first trimester and the fairlyrelaxed and easy second trimester. Shortly into the third trimester, Ibegan to have frequent contractions, especially when exercising. Mydoctor said that this was typical and the contractions were just BraxtonHicks contractions, getting my body ready for labor and delivery.The week before James came into this world, I remember just notfeeling right. There really wasn't anything in particular wrong, justthis nagging feeling that something wasn't right. The feeling passedand I went on with work and my typical days, thinking everythingwas fine. On Thursday, I began having contractions regularly, but noton the consistent schedule that OB's say indicates active labor. Afterfour calls to my doctor's office and repeatedly being told this wasjust false labor, I spent the rest of the day lying on the couch, tryingto find a position to ease the contractions. They eventually stoppedand I felt fine by Friday afternoon and absolutely full of energy onSaturday and Sunday.
Sunday afternoon I attended a friend's baby shower and waspretty much in a good mood. James was still in my belly where hebelonged, although he was hanging out a little lower than he hadbeen. At the time, I thought this was a wonderful thing, since I couldnow actually take a normal sized breath, and the foot that had beenstuck in my ribs was no longer there. That night at 11:20 P.M., I gotout of bed to use the bathroom and my water broke. I called for Patand asked him to call my parents as I called my doctor. After about10-15 minutes, real contractions set in. By real, I mean frequent,excruciating, long contractions. The typical "call your doctor andhead to the hospital when contractions are getting stronger and about5 minutes apart" didn't apply to me. When my contractions started,they lasted a full minute and were only one minute apart.
My parents began the drive to Delaware, as my mom wassupposed to be one of my support people during delivery and theyhad a five-hour drive to get to the hospital. This is plenty of time fora first baby, right? Labor and delivery is typically much, much longerthan a mere five hours. Pat grabbed the suitcase I had packed andhelped me into the car. This was the longest 15 minutes to the hospitalthat I could ever imagine. Every single minute, I would be gripped bythis unimaginable pain that took over my entire body and would lastfor a full minute. My contractions were so close together that therewas no time to relax a little and get ready for the next contraction likeyou're told to do in all of those pointless childbirth classes.
We arrived at the hospital and were taken right back to triage withno waiting, thank goodness! Upon examination, they determined thatI was already 5 cm dilated. I can remember asking for an epidural andbeing told that we had to wait until I was in the labor and deliveryroom, and currently they were just waiting for a room to be availableto move me. I'm not sure how long I waited for a room; it couldn'thave been that long, but it seemed like forever. Once I was in thelabor and delivery room, I again asked for an epidural, only to betold that I had to wait until I received an IV bag of something sinceI wasn't far enough along in my pregnancy to have a Strep B testcompleted, and they didn't want to chance the baby getting it duringdelivery. As I struggled through the debilitating contractions, waitingfor the painfully slow drip of the IV to empty the bag, people werein and out of the room. The on call doctor wasn't there yet, but wason his way. Finally, what seemed to be an eternity later, the IV dripwas finished and the anesthesiologist was there to put in the epidural.Once that was in place, the relief was almost immediate, and mymind was able to focus on what was going on around me.
The on-call doctor finally arrived and upon examination, shortlyafter the epidural was in place, it was found that I was already 10cm dilated. The doctor and nurses instructed my husband and methat it was time to start the delivery phase of labor. After three shortrounds of pushing, we were blessed with the sound of James crying.James was born at 1:37 A.M., only two hours and 17 minutes aftermy water broke. A team from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unitwas called to examine him since he was premature. Fortunately, wecouldn't have asked for a healthier baby, small as he was. Jamesweighed in at 5 pounds 13 ounces and stretched to 19.5 inches. Heactually was a decent size for being five weeks early and was justshy of being an average weight for a newborn. Elation took over asI called my parents to tell them that they missed the delivery of theirfirst grandson. We were eventually transferred to post partum andthe rest of our experience with James's arrival went smoothly andwas pretty typical.
Fast forward to just past James's first birthday. Early in February,I found myself staring open mouthed at another positive pregnancytest. How could this possibly be? I had an IUD put in after I hadJames since I wanted reliable birth control but didn't want to takethe pill since I was breast feeding James. This method was supposedto be 99.9% effective. Are we ready for a second child? We certainlywanted another one, but weren't planning on this happening so soon.I quickly called my doctor's office to get the blood test and schedulemy first appointment. Pat shared in my joy and anxiety with thisexciting news.
The first thing we had to do was make sure the pregnancy washealthy. The risk for miscarriage and tubal pregnancies is extremelyhigh when conception occurs with an IUD. The stress and anxietyand happiness that we went through waiting to find out if everythingwas as it should be were almost unbearable. About five weeks intothis pregnancy, morning sickness set in. By morning sickness, I meanextreme nausea and vomiting that would start somewhere between3:00 and 4:00 P.M. and last until about 3 in the morning. Every halfhour or so I would find myself rushing for a bathroom and hopingthat this would be the last time I had to vomit for the day. Over thecourse of the next two weeks, I lost about 10 pounds. Unable tokeep anything down despite trying everything that I could find thatclaimed to ease morning sickness, I finally got a prescription for ananti-nausea medication that helped a great deal. I was a bit hesitant totake the medication, not wanting to do anything that might potentiallyharm my baby. Even after tons of reassurance that the medication wassafe and used frequently, I took it only when I absolutely needed it.The criteria for actually needing the medication, in my mind, was thatI had some function that I had to attend in public and just couldn't berushing to a bathroom and non-functional for the entire time. Sittingthrough jury duty qualified as one of those times.
Around week 10, an ultrasound was completed at my first OBappointment and...
