In our quest to live a worthwhile life -one we can affirm with a whole heart -we experience much about life that we cannot affirm. This confronts us with the question of whether there is something about life that can take us beyond its times of loss, heartache, and emptiness, and bring a flourishing that endures. No one can answer this question for another, of course, but we have much in common about the fundamentals of life and whatever answer we achieve will grow out of what we learn from one another. I have written in this spirit, drawing on what I have learned from others, especially in teaching philosophy, religion and psychology, working with those who are dying, bearing the loss of people I have cared deeply for, and centering my life in times with friends and family that have brought deep meaning, courage and delight. Whatever flourishing we achieve will depend, in part, on fate-all the physical, social and psychological things that happen to us and that may work for us or against us. This is especially likely to be an important side of our final stage of life. Our well-being, though, will also be a matter of how we engage life. Some of this will be influenced by how we deal with whatever psychological problems life has brought, but this book focuses, rather, on the creative, life affirming uses to which we can put our basic human powers. There are two fundamental perspectives -those we can think of as secular and transcendental-by which we in the West have been helped to experience this affirmative feeling for life. I explore both perspectives for the insights they have to offer and ask what it is about life, for all of us, that can make possible new meaning, greater intimacy, and deepened belief.

Bringing Life to Completion

Reflections On Living Deeply and Ending Life WellBy Edward Cell

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 Edward Cell
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4685-3859-5

Contents

Dedication...................................................................................vPreface......................................................................................ixI. The Questions That Shake Us And Life's Power To Answer....................................11. Embracing Life's Questions................................................................12. Meaning That Brings Affirmation...........................................................33. The Thinking And Valuing At Work In Our Feelings..........................................34. A Deep Well-Spring Of Meaning.............................................................65. More Than Belief Alone....................................................................116. Not For Myself Only.......................................................................137. End Of Life Feelings Of Some Persons Who Are With Me Still................................148. Valuing And Transcending Our Separateness.................................................179. Two Ways To Seek Meaning And Affirmation..................................................1810. Finding Meaning In An Ever-Changing World................................................1911. A Confidence About Our Final Days........................................................20II. Engaging Life At Two Levels..............................................................211. Our Everyday Self At Work.................................................................212. Engaging Our Deeper Self..................................................................243. Experiencing Transcendence................................................................254. Life's Final Chapter......................................................................295. Living Defensively........................................................................326. An Awakening Experience...................................................................337. Loving Life In Its Mended Form............................................................378. The Complexity Of Life's Answers..........................................................389. Being Connected In The Creation And Mending Of Meaning....................................3910. Meaning And Its Home In Our Language.....................................................40III. Two Horizons Of Ultimate Meaning........................................................491. Seeing Beauty As A Final Horizon Of Meaning...............................................502. Participating In Life's Eternal Meaning...................................................543. Narrative As The Foundation Of Meaning....................................................574. Narratives That Make Sense Of It All......................................................60IV. The Wonder Of A Creative Universe........................................................651. A Scientific View Of Life's Creative Nature...............................................662. The Purposeful Work Going On Within Our Bodies............................................673. Evolution And Society As Self-Organizing Processes........................................684. Our Creativity In The Things That Matter..................................................685. Life's Creative Power In Our Final Days...................................................706. Wonder, Transcendence And The Sacred......................................................737. Wonder In Our Final Days..................................................................78V. Two Faces Of Death And Life's Power To Answer.............................................791. Estrangement From Others..................................................................802. Estrangement From Ourselves...............................................................853. Estrangement From Life....................................................................864. A Way Up From Darkness....................................................................875. Impermanence And Courage..................................................................93VI. Our Different Feelings About Life And Death..............................................971. Our Complex Being.........................................................................982. The Meaning That Death Has In Our Togetherness............................................1003. The Meaning Death Has In Our Separateness.................................................1024. The Meaning That Death Has For Our Physical Self..........................................106VII. Not By Or For Ourselves Alone...........................................................1111. Being Made Real In The Social Drama.......................................................1112. Creating Reflections On Life That Invite Final Connection With Others.....................114VIII. Reverence For Life.....................................................................121Addendum.....................................................................................127

Chapter One

The Questions That Shake Us And Life's Power To Answer

What does it mean to end life well and how can we best manage it? The more I reflect on this, the more I believe it's really a question about what it means to live deeply. How we live and how we end life are intimately related. It's all one story, and running through it are deeply-seated questions about the meaning and value of our lives and also a quest to find answers for these questions in our experience, answers that enable us to affirm life with a whole heart and that can grow in power as we move through life's stages.

The things that bring life into question stir up strong emotions. At their starkest, these emotions include anxiousness about having to die, grief at the loss of those we care for, and heart-ache about ways we harm one another or grow apart. We may also be deeply troubled by feelings of doubt concerning direction and purpose for our lives, and of regret about ways we fall short of becoming the best we can be.

1. EMBRACING LIFE'S QUESTIONS

Whatever answers we experience as we face these questions will give rise to emotions that can also be intensely powerful. At their most compelling, these feelings include courage to embrace life in its entirety, gratitude for the bonds that unite us, and joy at the meaning that comes partly from our own doing and partly from beyond us. They are all complexly interrelated, but, as I have come to believe, the joy we find in a life of meaning is the foundation for the rest.

These answering experiences will work effectively for us only insofar as we have first really opened ourselves to the questions life brings and given them careful thought. Often these questions will concern our relations with the people in our lives. Why the times when we damage what is best about our life together? How deep is the understanding and care that connects us with each other? What do we count for—what kind of difference do we make—when things really matter and how much of this will continue into our final days?

Over time, if we think carefully about these things, a different kind of questioning may grow in us and we may come to ask something like this: does the meaning we create together sometimes bring a...