TEN ABSOLUTELY IRREFUTABLE REASONS TO QUIT SMOKING
* You will become rich
* You will no longer stink
* You will be more attractive to the opposite sex (or same sex, whatever)
* There is nothing more satisfying than feeling smug and who is more smug than a reformed smoker?
* You will be able to pass through customs without the help of snide customs officials ripping through your luggage
* You will be able to scoff at your workmates as they routinely freeze outside the office every two hours for a ten-minute hit of nicotine
* You will be able to say 'No, I don't have a spare fag,' with utmost pleasure - everyone knows there's no such thing as a spare fag
* You will be seated at the best tables in restaurants
* You will have an excuse to go to the gym due to post-smoking weight gain
* You'll have more money to spend on beer; the drug of choice for people who like to feel better about themselves
Mike Andereisz is the author of the seminal Little Book of Pot and Rainbow Climbing High. He lives in North London and has tried quitting smoking several times without success.