What is a person to do when peering in the face of death-or any difficult circumstance? What if that person is only fourteen years old? How can a mother rest in God's sovereignty when His ways seem so hidden and confusing? Before encountering this crisis, Darryl came to believe that God is good and all His ways are best. Hearing a bleak prognosis with little hope for cure, Darryl believed that if God planned it that way, it was the very best for him! Living out the passion of the apostle Paul, Darryl became known as "the boy who's not afraid to die" He accepted suffering with joy by remembering Jesus's pain tolerated for him on the cross. In his final words, he expressed, "Jesus died for your sins and my sins. I'm going to see Him" Even in his dying moments, he wanted others to experience the love of Jesus. His life demonstrated that joy comes from Jesus and is not dependent on circumstances. Life, suffering, and even death had a purpose because of a gracious and loving God. When his time came, he eagerly stepped into the presence of Jesus. His desire would be the same for you! Fantastic! As a pediatrician and as a parent, I urge you to read this book. God's greatness is seen throughout as we observe real parents and a real adolescent struggling with very real tragedy. Devouring page after page, I was inspired with great lessons about parenting, godliness, grieving, and endurance. May we all grow to share Darryl's eternal perspective. Phil Fischer, MD Professor of Pediatrics Mayo Clinic Rochester, Minnesota USA This book is a victorious cancer story without parallel. Darryl used suffering as a backboard for proclaiming the joy of Christian victory. His disease and demise are an excellent lesson to teach us that "all preachers do not have a three piece suit and an ordination certificate" It is an easy read and will stimulate your own witness. Chuck Davis National Representative Africa Inland Mission Darryl never f

DON'T CALL ME POOR

A Mother Grieves and Grows as her Teenage Son Courageously Fights CancerBy EVADENE STRANSKE

Trafford Publishing

Copyright © 2012 Evadene Stranske
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4669-4176-2

Contents

1. The Year We Burned The Candle........................................................................12. It's A Boy...........................................................................................93. Snapshots Of Darryl's Preschool Years In Africa......................................................184. Transition To America................................................................................295. Campus Life In Colorado..............................................................................376. A Paper Boy In Lakewood..............................................................................437. The New Year Begins With Enveloping Gloom............................................................528. A Disciplined Life Finds Strength In God.............................................................659. New Medications Provide Hope.........................................................................7810. Rocky Mountain News Story Generates Phone And Mail Storm............................................8311. Back To School......................................................................................9812. Family Challenges Persist...........................................................................10713. Beckoned By A Graduation We Vacation In California..................................................12014. Increasing Pressure At Home In Colorado.............................................................13015. I'd Rather Be With Jesus............................................................................13716. Don't Call Me Poor!.................................................................................14517. A Continuing Legacy He Being Dead Yet Speaketh......................................................15818. Ongoing Struggles Provide Lessons In God's Sovereignty..............................................165Appendix I: How do I make life's most important decision to become a Christian?.........................177Appendix II: Rocky Mountain News Article, January 24, 1971..............................................179Appendix III: Western Witness Article, September, 1972..................................................186Appendix IV: The Effects of a Terminal Illness and Death of a Child on His Siblings.....................191

Chapter One

THE YEAR WE BURNED THE CANDLE

Colorful wax trickled down the knobby sides of the candle in our dimly lit dining room. That previously unlit white Christmas tree candle with embedded multicolored balls had been our Christmas dinner table centerpiece for several years but, for this occasion, I decided to light it. Something compelled me to change tradition by striking a match to our treasured possession.

Today we celebrated. It was Christmas Eve—the day our family traditionally remembered Christmas. But more importantly, Darryl, our thirteen-year-old son had been released from the hospital. After six months of examining and probing, doctors felt confident that they had finally discovered the reason for the periodic pain in his neck. They removed his sub-maxillary salivary gland, generating hope for Darryl's full recovery. No doubt, he would soon be back to his usual energetic self. With relief, we brought Darryl home from the hospital the morning of December 24. He had a huge bandage on his neck covering the incision from surgery completed three days earlier. Although he couldn't move his head very fast, he appeared to be on the mend.

Darryl had purchased Christmas gift s early with money earned on his paper route. In spite of his long illness and time spent in the hospital, he was ready. His evident eagerness rippled through the family as we enjoyed this rare occasion of having our whole family together. Charlotte, Ray and Tim, our older children, had driven home from Biola College in California; Darryl's younger sisters, Faith and Susan, were on vacation from elementary school. Following family tradition, we sat down to an elegant Christmas Eve dinner, each one wearing something red or green to make the occasion more festive. I put the ornate Christmas candle in its usual place, but this year we watched the candle burn as we ate our meal. As the flame reached the first colored balls, streams of mixed colors slithered down the tree, unlocking the beauty hidden inside.

We chatted, sharing experiences of recent months—our conversation enhanced by the beauty of that changing candle producing a striking display before us. After dinner, everyone joined in the clean-up process before gathering around our fragrant Christmas tree. Before any gift s were opened, we made it a practice to remember the real reason for the season by reading Luke 2—that awesome story about the birth of Jesus; and we took time to thank God for His great gift.

Darryl entered into this time of remembrance with reverence, but when we completed reading we again noted his exuberance. He couldn't wait. He didn't care about what he might receive. He eagerly looked forward to sharing the things he had lovingly purchased to give. He gave his youngest sister, Susan, a toy Easy Bake oven that really baked small cakes and brownies. Faith, four years older than Susan, received a tiny toy sewing machine that actually sewed. Together with his older brother Ray, Darryl gave Dad a power keyhole saw. I received a lovely lace tablecloth.

To watch Darryl's elation as each of us opened his gift s gave me a feeling of intense fulfillment. What a privilege to see a child mature from the "gimme" stage to the "I want to give you" stage. "He is going to be some man when he grows up," I mused quietly to myself.

Christmas Day brought more joyous merriment. We shared a scrumptious turkey dinner, savoring animated conversation after months of separation. What precious time we shared together. But, as the week continued, dark clouds broke into our lives. Darryl approached me one evening to reveal red blotches erupting on his body. He then added that many of his glands seemed to be swollen. "Whatever could this new turn of events mean," I wondered.

I quickly called Dr. Dragel, the surgeon who had operated on Darryl. I explained Darryl's symptoms and he told me to contact our family doctor. I made an appointment with Dr. Kurtz for late afternoon on the following day. Our older children planned to leave for California after lunch that day and I didn't want to miss any time with them.

The morning bustled with activity as three college kids prepared to leave. Ray even put some finishing touches on a term paper due on the day he returned to school. Since they planned to depart around one o'clock, we traded our usual evening dinner with a big meal at noon to provide an added boost for their travels. I wanted them to leave with full stomachs since I oft en felt concerned about their eating; college expenses kept them on a tight budget. As they prepared to leave after dinner, the boys discovered a car problem. They had to make repairs before they could go and were still working on the car when I took Darryl to the doctor at 3:30. Since they intended to be gone when we returned, we said our "good byes" as Darryl and I left.

Dr. Kurtz greeted me and then took Darryl into the examining room alone. As the minutes ticked on, growing concern gripped me. What's taking so long? What's wrong? Finally, Darryl returned and...