CHAPTER 1
The last Moment
Embrace it
Love Life,
It could be over before you know it.
Give those you love a hug each time you see them.
Smile when you see the sun.
Admire the beautiful scenery.
Have an appreciation for all that is around us.
Don't be naïve,
Everything can change in the blink of an eye
or a heartbeat.
Don't be blind.
See what you have before you lose it.
Let people know that you love them.
Let them know how much you appreciate them.
Appreciate what you have,
Appreciate life
Embrace it!
I was your average Canadian teenager. I have two younger twin sisters. I was shy and nervous speaking in front of large groups of people. Like most kids, I spent my days riding my bike around the neighbourhood. I went rollerblading with my friends and family. When I was thirteen, I enrolled in Junior Air Cadets. I thought I wanted to become a pilot when I grew up.
I was quite shy but I also loved acting. From the time I was a child, I would recite lines back from movies to my family. Secretly my dream was to pursue acting. I was a very creative young woman. I was just so timid. I remember once we publicly performed a line dance to the song "Achy, Breaky, Heart." The only reason I participated is because I was following my friends. I was terrified. I hated getting up in front of everyone.
I was an average student in most classes. I always thought the other students in class were smarter than me. I convinced myself that no matter how hard I tried, I could never be at their level. I definitely did not put in 100% effort. My self confidence was low. I took my natural abilities for granted.
I went to Confederation High School in Sudbury, Ontario. In 10th grade life changed forever. That year I started to develop a romantic relationship with a young man named A.J. One day at school he approached a friend of mine with a note. That's how our relationship began.
He did the typical shy guy, teenager move and asked her to give the note to me. She handed it over and I read it. I can still picture what it said:
I know you don't like me, but I have to tell you the truth. I have a crush on you.
Please call me tonight.
Love, A.J.
He wasn't very comfortable approaching girls. I wasn't very comfortable receiving attention from boys. I remember feeling shocked, flattered, nervous and countless other things. I wish I could remember everything about that day. Or any day we shared together.
My injury has left me with puzzle pieces that I constantly try to force together. A.J. and I ate lunch together nearly every day after that. We hung out after school at each other's houses. His mom once shared a memory with me I had forgotten. We went over to his house and he had me sit down. He sang me the song, Can't Fight the Moonlight, by LeAnne Rhymes. He was very sweet.
By the week of March 11th, 2001, A.J. and I were almost of the point of "going steady." I was fifteen years old and wanted to spend all my time with him. During the week I called my best friend Nathalie to discuss our plans for the weekend. Nathalie and I met in third grade. We grew up in the same neighbourhood and played together as kids. We went to the same high school and knew from a young age we would be friends for a long time.
A middle-aged man was known around our high school for throwing great parties. He owned a big house a bit outside of the city where teenagers could go and drink. During our conversation, Nathalie and I decided that we wanted to go there that weekend. A.J. was going to the party as well.
I asked my parents permission to spend some time at my friend's house. Of course, I did not tell them the truth. I made it out as if I was just going to have a sleepover with my girlfriends. I also asked for my allowance in advance. I said I needed to buy snacks for a movie. I actually wanted to buy beer at the party.
My outfit was carefully planned that evening. I wanted to look nice for A.J. I wore my favorite coat which was white with reflective stripes on the arms.
Nathalie and I arrived at the party with five other teenagers. There was a local band playing in the background. We paid for the beer and drank it from plastic cups. A big group of people were hanging around outside of the house. Eventually this lead to a huge snowball fight in the yard. It was a great party.
The main reason I wanted to be there was so I could be with A.J. It seems silly now. We could have done anything else that night. The party held over 200 people, most of them minors.
My friends told me after that A.J. was very happy at that party. He had a smile from ear to ear all night because he was there with me. I was happy too. We spent the entire night talking and laughing.
When it was time to leave, the first thing we did was ask the owner of the house if we could use his phone to call a taxi. The owner told us we had to leave. He was afraid of having so many underage drinkers on his property.
The group of us decided to walk to a nearby payphone. It was about a kilometer down a very straight road with absolutely no street lights. Nowadays everyone has a cell phone. I can't imagine needing to walk a kilometer to call someone for help.
We were all drinking and did not understand that it was dangerous to walk down a dark road at night. This is part of the reason I have dedicated in my adult life to speak to high school students. I stress the importance of safety when drinking.
As we headed down the street we broke up into groups of twos and threes. A.J. and I walked behind the rest of the group. We were holding hands and talking.
"Have you made up your mind?" he asked, "Do you want to be my girlfriend?"
I looked right in his eyes and said, "I want to get to know you a bit more before I say yes."
A.J. still had a smile from ear to ear. It was a pretty responsible answer for a 15 year old when I think about it. I can't help but regret saying it. It probably would have made him happier if I had said I wanted to be his girlfriend.
That was the the last second of my old life. A drunk driver flew up the road and struck us. My whole life changed in an instant. A.J. and I got the majority of the impact. The car completely ran over A.J. and I was thrown to the other side of the road.
My friend Nathalie blacked out at first, then she woke up to see me and A.J. lying on the ground. She screamed at the top of her lungs. The girls ran over to me and the...
