Changing Relationships with Ourselves and Others is the follow-up to author Adelphia's first book, My Journey Within, in which she shared her own personal story of self-growth and development. Here, she takes a deeper look into relationships and how they affect both self and others. She explores a compilation of both examples of personal and individual growth and the effects of current and past influences for individuals. She hopes to offer expansion of your mind through a reminder that what is seen on the surface is not necessarily the bigger picture of your life. Rather, it is merely that which you choose to show to others, not your true inner workings. It's easy to get caught up in your own life, and that can make it difficult to see the bigger picture, hindering you from working toward your bigger goals. Changing Relationships with Ourselves and Others also investigates the contracts that are signed by individuals before coming onto the earthly plain. These contracts are both for the individual and collective groups, indicating what their learning curves will be. Nothing you do in life is truly wrong; these decisions are simply required so you can experience certain events in your life, creating opportunities for growth.

Changing Relationships with Ourselves and Others

By Adelphia

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2012 Adelphia
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-0389-9

Chapter One

PERSONNAL Grief/Loss

1

Relationships—why do we have them? They are fragile. They put us through human emotions that we often feel we could do without. Why, then, as humans do we persist in having relationships? The answer is that without these relationships, the human race would become almost devoid of feelings. To function properly, we need these emotions, whether positive or negative, to guide us through life while we are here. It is a part of us being able to interact with one another on all levels of life. We cannot do without relationships. To do so would inhibit our own growth. What we learn, though, is to see which relationships are beneficial to us and which are not. Even those that are not beneficial in the long term are often at some point good for us. We learn to let go of relationships that no longer serve our highest good. The lesson for all of us is to appreciate and learn from these relationships. We never know what will happen in our lives. As with all things in life, relationships break, because all things are fragile. Some are meant to last; others will not.

I will start this commentary from the moment I received a phone call from my brother. I had been waiting for this call to announce the arrival of their latest daughter. The phone call came, only it was not what I was expecting.

"Hi, D. She has arrived," I said.

"No" came the reply. "She is not coming."

I didn't know what to say. What can you say when you realise a child is not coming that she has passed away (returned home)?

I was joking with my daughter and her friend a few months earlier that my brother and his wife were expecting a daughter. This was before we asked them what sex the baby was. I am clairvoyant. Therefore the joke was we already knew this little being was a girl.

At this point, I asked my brother if he would like me to ring our sister and inform her of their loss. This was a loss for all the family and their friends, who had been expecting the arrival of another beautiful child.

I rang our sister and informed her that our niece was sleeping and would not awaken. Neither of us could think of anything to say to each other. After getting off the phone with our sister, I rang my brother back and asked if he would like me to come to see him. (He lives in another state.) He hummed about this, and I just said, "Do you want me to come?"

"Yes," the reply came.

That night I was still not sure, and my husband and I disagreed. He said yes and I said no. Many factors came into this, including financial and distance considerations. There was a sense of foreboding of what was still to come. I got new tyres for my car, something that needed to be done. This was the opportunity to do it. We checked out air fares, and it turned out it was cheaper to fly, but I was unable to fly directly from Adelaide to Melbourne. Driving was the only alternative. I love driving, but I had a fear of that distance (approximately 700 km). It seemed a long way to go when emotions were running high. I knew I would be well looked after by my spiritual warriors, and I was.

The following day, I drove eight hours to be with my brother and his family. Upon arrival at the hospital, I was met by a sea of faces. Many I did not know, I had not met my sister-in-law's family previously. What do you say to a group of people who are in shock, and starting to grieve, not comprehending why this had occurred? As a stranger to most of these people, I was not about to inform them what was happening on a spiritual level. I had a strong sense of this it was not the time or place to freak these people out.

What I knew made this even harder, my sister-in-law had to wait to be induced, to give birth to this beautiful being. While waiting, she could hear other children being born. To my sister-in-law, I wish to tell you how much I admire and respect you for the experience you endured. I cannot imagine the agony you went through and continue to go through. To my brother, who is a very proud person, I can only empathise with your pain.

When I entered the hospital room and saw my brother and his wife, again I was at a loss for words. My brother fell into my arms. All I could do was hold him that was perfect. All anybody needed to do was be there and give them love and support. I said to my sister-in-law, "I honestly do not know what to say." At this point, she asked if I would like to hold my niece. I knew my niece's soul had already left, the moment her heart stopped beating. I took this beautiful little bundle and held her. She was perfect. It was hard for me to comprehend she was not there. I cannot imagine what it was like for my brother and his wife, or the rest of the family and friends who were gathered.

My nephew, who some may say is not as fast as others, is in fact cleverer than most people would give him credit for. While people were going in and out of D and A's room, my nephew piped up and said, "Ally changed her mind." How insightful can a young lad be? This in a sense was exactly right. My nephew had spoken spiritually to his sister, and she informed him she was returning home. Why, do you ask? On my drive over, I received the sense also that she changed her mind. This is exactly what can happen. On the physical level, people try and find out medical reasons for a person's death. This is very natural. It is a part of the grief process, trying to find someone to blame. The anger we feel towards each situation varies, but it still comes from the same place: the heart. It is easy to blame someone else for these events. It can give a sense of knowing and peace to families, at other times it can cause the exact opposite to happen.

What I am talking about is the blame game. There is never any blame. No, I mean never any blame. From a spiritual perspective, as souls we make agreements with people before coming into being (human form). Often it is to clear karmic debt; other times it is for souls to experience arrival and departure. For others it enables them to experience coming and receiving unconditional love. At no point in time is there blame. Blame comes from the human side of us. Yes, you might say, "What she is babbling on about?" We have a physical body, which is the human side, we have a spiritual side—our soul. The human side, includes the ego and other aspects, it is the side most people work from. This is the side that wishes to blame someone and not forgive the events that have taken place. "Why should we?" you say. We need to forgive those who have left us, whether it was before they were born or after they have been here for some time, this is a part of their journey. You made a contract/s with that person or people to be a part of their journey, the same as they agreed to become a part of yours.

Some people would say, "This is God's doing." No, this is not his doing. He does not say who stays and who goes. These are our decisions. Do not blame him when someone dies, he did not tell them it was time to leave.

While I was with D and A, I was asked, along with A's best friend, to be there when the funeral director came. In her I found a woman who was willing to look at Ally and acknowledge she was a beautiful child. "Yes", I can hear you say, "That is what she is meant to say". I felt from her she had compassion for this grieving couple. She had suggestions for them to try and make a horrific event easier. For this lady, it was not just a job. I know she is in the right...