These feelings are just choices . . . not emotions, as you call them. Aren't they, T'narg? Emotions are energies in motion. You have chosen the way in which your energies will flow. You know that was your choice. Remember that emotions are best not confused with compassion, understanding and the empathy procured from wisdom. This is entirely different. We all feel alien and confused at times; at times we all search for a different path to happiness, one that promises more than the status quo. We feel this path must exist. Blessedly, it exists inside of each of us; by learning to ask the right questions, we will change our lives with the answers we find. In Conversation with a Duck, reverend and spiritual healer and councilor Grant A. Watson brings us an indispensible and universally accessible guide to finding joy and finding our true selves in the midst of the wild flow that is life. Framed as a candid, personal question-and-answer story between an ordinary seeker and a knowing teacher, Conversation with a Duck explores with us the essence of love, peace, faith and the evolution of the human experience. Through T'narg's honest and heartfelt searching, we find our own path out of frustration, out of grief and into, finally, being able to simply trust and be.
CONVERSATIONS WITH A DUCK
AND THE END OF SEPARATION!By Grant A. Watson (T'narg)BALBOA PRESS
Copyright © 2011 Grant Allen Watson
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4525-0218-2Chapter One
THE BURNING BUSH
It was just after 4:00 a.m. when I got up to go through my morning constitutional. I bathed and went to my little altar area to pray. This was a standard thing for me to do since I had returned from India some 8 years ago, where the practice of rising at 4:00 a.m., washing, praying, and then washing and praying before retiring at 9:00 in the evening was the norm. Sound familiar? Well, all of us know someone or have seen a documentary that has mentioned the ashrams of India, the spiritual trek, and its value or lack of it. I personally had an amazing experience at the hands of Sri Sathya Sai Baba, although that's another story. Let me get back to this one.
There were bright orange rays dancing across the lower fields and meadows when I finally donned my hat and walked out of the little wooden cabin that I had been so lucky to rent for the past few months. As I strolled further into the day, I could see the fight for life that life itself undertakes daily. The birds whistled their "Good day". I just waved, "Morning birdies". The sun's emergence had quickly fulfilled its purpose of reaching every tree, rock, and blade of grass. I noticed that it was going to be another hot day so I dragged down the front of my hat to shade my eyes a little from the sun, as it was now peering over a hill in front of me and its rays were eager to reach everything. It truly was a beautiful morning, with Mother Earth wearing her finest dress and with just the hint of makeup. She looked stunning as usual. I smiled and said, "Good morning, Mum!" with as much conscious intent and love as if I was actually talking to my own physical mother standing in the kitchen. With the warmest reply that only my Earth Mother could give, I felt her answer. The rush of ITLχITL (life force) up through my body made me again realise how supported we are by Mother and just how unsupported she is in every sense by most of us. I grimaced a little and then surmised, "The sooner the planet adopts a more matrifocal consciousness, becoming more nurturing in every way, the better off we will all be". As far as I could see, it was changing slowly; "I can only pray that it won't take too long," was my fleeting thought as I arrived at the pond.
I knelt low enough to scoop a hatful of water. The rain of the past few weeks had served well in maintaining its freshness, reminding me that it had been quite some time since I had come to this particular portion of the surrounding properties. As it was not really owned by anyone, it seemed more like a no-man's-land in the middle of all the acreages, and yet not fenced or seemingly tainted by title or deed. A great spot that was somewhat enchanted. It sat quietly in the western foothills, skirted by gums and low wattles covering about a hectare of land with lots of shade. The little tree and shrub-filled island in the middle was quite a picture with the light dancing across the top of its undulating foliage. Something felt funny or was different, but exactly what it was I was not sure. I sat down and opened the top of my small backpack, revealing some biscuits that (believe it or not) I'd baked myself. I popped one into my mouth, sucking it to an emptiness that provided room for another. I swigged more of the hat-held water, popped in another bickie, and lay down with my pack acting as a pillow. It was rather comfortable lying there against a large fallen gum tree. Day dreaming for some time, I warmly realised with a sigh that I was not so much tired as solemn and at total peace. I grunted, and yes, I dozed off.
The pond looked surreal. The little island was ablaze with the strangest lights. In the centre was a large tree-shrub, the likes of which I had never seen before. It looked as though it was on fire. In looking around, nothing was itself. It took on a brightness almost twice the norm and there was a lot of movement in my peripheries. I turned quickly to the left and was sure I saw something. Then I looked sharply to the right and there stood my dog, Sam. My heart jumped as I said, "Hi, girl, here, Sam". She ran straight to me and wagged her tail frantically while licking my hand and face and knocked my hat off. Just as fast as my heart had soared in joy at her arrival, it dived with fear and disbelief. Sam had died twelve years ago! "God! What's going on?" I yelled. Sam sat up straight like she'd always done when she thought I was cross. I looked down at her and said, "It's okay, girl". Patting her head, tears started to roll down my face. Was I dead? How I loved that dog. How I'd missed her. What's going on? She seems so real. "Boy, I don't feel so well," I thought. I sat down with the slump of my body, ushering Sam. She lay along my side with her head on my lap just as she had done so many times when she was alive. "Shit, this is unreal," was my next thought. Another large movement from my left side caused me again to turn quickly, only to see my Uncle Ross about ten feet away. I was startled, yet composed. Ross had died about eight years ago. I just looked at him, half wondering whether to say hello or not. I couldn't get over how well he looked. Then he said without turning, "Aren't you going to say hello, boy?"
"Nice to see you, mate," I said. "Hope you don't mind that I don't seem too thrilled to see you. It's just that I'm not feeling too good about this obvious visit to the other side, so to speak".
"You're alright, boy," said Ross. "You have always known, or at least spoken of your relationship with the departed. So you have known of your lineage connection spiritually to me. It should be no surprise to see me, boy!"
"Sure, Ross. I've spoken of the fact that I believed that you were on my team and that you were possibly still serving the living through many mediums including myself. But to see you now is not going to immediately confirm that all is as I particularly said it was".
Sitting astride the large gum that Sam and I were slumped next to, Ross said, "Always wanting confirmation, aren't you? You've been saying that you're a spirit having a human experience and not a human having a spiritual experience and yet, you're the only one who doesn't believe it".
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, consider that you are a lot more 'right' than you are wrong all the time, and then you might not be so unhappy. 'Right' for you and your relationship to you and your connections to the universe - not everybody else's connections, mind you! Yours!"
"Sure, that sounds good".
"Well, my boy, I wouldn't be telling you these things at this time to confuse you. Consider that your quest for self is just that! Your journey to find that elusive you is not going any further until you realise that you are already you! To quote you and what you usually say to others, 'You came with all you needed and God doesn't make mistakes. You are all you need to do this journey, having all the support you need, being equipped with all you require, in every way.' Yes".
"So why do I doubt this so much, Ross?"
"You don't! Those that you share with doubt themselves a little; you then take it the rest of the way, owning it as your own insecurity. Then in turn you develop all sorts of fears and imaginings that there might be something wrong with you. That's your level of sensing the energies around you. Try not to take it on".
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