You Need an Oasis

It is crucial to your well-being for your home to be your oasis. You need to have a place where you can recharge your batteries, regain your sanity, and feel safe to be yourself. Your home needs to be a place you always look forward to being, a place where you can feel excited about life. Everyone needs an oasis. It's not a luxury; it's a necessity. In this hectic world we live in, an oasis is crucial for gaining the energy we need to face the jungle of the outside world.

The outside world can be a jungle because you are dealing with different people and different personalities. Sometimes they carry their own issues with them to unload onto others. We have to deal with things like work, and for some, work alone can be draining. To help you deal with all this without feeling like you're drained or going crazy, create a home that can become your oasis.

The consequences of not doing this are great. When your home is a source of chaos and stress, you'll want to be anywhere but home. This can lead to a sense of loss, because in essence, you are lost. It can be challenging to find yourself away from home, because of all the noise of the outside world. By noise, I mean other people's thoughts, ideas, and agendas; society's agenda; your own community; and other outside forces. When that noise does not resonate with your true essence, you cannot be your own true self. You cannot become what you were designed to be. You cannot grow as a person, and growth is very much a part of your well-being.

To figure out your true happiness, you must look within, and you must do this without all the noise and influence of others. You need to feel safe. I believe our true essence is always trying to talk to us, but it cannot communicate in the midst of noise. We need that quiet oasis.

In order to function in life, you need to be able to vibrate at a high energy level. Wake up every morning expecting good from life, knowing that life is always by your side and that you are loved. Anything less than this is misery. If your home is a cause of misery, and if you would rather sleep more just because you don't want to deal with day-to-day things, then you have a big problem. I'm telling you, you can't function in a home like this. It will lead to you getting to work stressed and dealing with everything in a miserable way. You won't have much to offer to others, and they will sense that. You will carry negative energy with you everywhere you go and attract more negative things to you. One way to break from this is by making your home an oasis.

You have to create this home oasis yourself; you can't wait for someone else to do it for you. A house is just the physical brick and cement, but a home — and particularly a peaceful home — is something that you create. Make sure that it is clean and organized. Have things on display that are meaningful to you. Decorate in a way that represents who you are. Use colors that trigger a sense of happiness and calm. This is critical.

Apart from the way your home looks, if you live with someone or have your own family, it is important to create an environment of love. Make sure you express love to your loved ones. Make sure that they know they are loved in a way that makes them feel loved. To learn more, I suggest you read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It provides insight about how each and every one of us feels loved differently.

If you work outside the home, find some time and energy to dedicate to your family. View that time and energy as an investment, not work. Family time should never feel like work, and you should never even think of it as work. View your family and loved ones as complementing your life and adding to your life.

We humans are social beings, and we have a need for love and attention, a need to feel needed. Make sure you provide your family with that love and attention. Trust me — it will pay you dividends. There are many investments that we should be making, and this is one of them. A broken home can be a source of anxiety for everyone, and this can happen so easily. A common cause of a broken home is neglecting one's family. No matter how stressed you are, how busy you are, or how tired you are, always make time for your family. You will be so glad you did.

Check in with yourself to see what state you are in emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. If you are not right in these three aspects, you won't have much to offer your family. To offer the best to your family, you have to be at your best. Make sure you take care of your spiritual needs. I discuss this more in the chapter "Nurture Your Soul."

Make sure you are also nurturing yourself and making time for yourself. This is crucial for your mental, emotional, and spiritual sanity. If all you are doing is taking care of others, it is only a matter of time before you feel worn out. Tending to your own needs is healthy and necessary; it's not a luxury. Even within a family, you have to retain your own individuality and nurture yourself, not just others.

One of the paths to health is checking in with yourself and making sure that you're all right. Then you will have more than enough to offer to others and be able to provide your best to your loved ones. This is the state you want to be in; it will help you create a home oasis.

I am not a relationship expert, nor am I trying to be. I am a Wellness and Life Coach, and as an expert in this area, I understand how crucial our love lives are to our well-being. Please don't take your husband, wife, or companion for granted. One of the many reasons families break up is because one of the two parties feels taken for granted or that his or her needs are not being met. By taking your husband, wife, or companion for granted, you are neglecting your home, because a home is built by love, nurture, attention, and effort.

Make sure that every day, you are winning your partner's affection and love. Keep doing the things that made him or her fall in love with you. Make sure that your partner knows that you love, desire, and need him or her. Make time for your spouse or companion, and make him or her feel special. Turn off your phone when you are together. Do whatever it takes to make that person love you more. It is not just the other person's responsibility to make the relationship work; it is yours as well.

Do your part, and I guarantee it will have a ripple effect on...