CHAPTER 1

WHAT IS CONSCIOUSAWARENESS?

The problem of how to be mindful is actuallyresolved not through stressful effort but byrelaxing, allowing, and observing what isalready there.

Rodney Smith, Tricycle, Winter 2011

Mesmerizing Focal Points Are Everywhere

After stepping into my complex's junior Olympic-lengthswimming pool, I shivered for a few secondsuntil pushing my head and torso below the water.I came up cold but refreshed. Then I swam my first lapand back, lay on the steps, and gazed ahead at the twoeucalyptus trees outside the pool's fence. The left tree is talland round. Hundreds of bright ash-green leaf clusters caughtmy attention. The sun's setting rays illuminated the cluster'scomplexity.

I thought, Can the work of any artist compete with this incredibletree?

What prompted me to bond with a tree and its leaves? Forseveral years, my meditation practice had emphasized attentiveobservation.

We're captivated by physical beauty when great music or artframes our conscious awareness. An example of such framingwas gifted to me during a South Rim Grand Canyon trip.Grand Canyon, earth's largest and most breathtaking crevice,has a visitor center called Watchtower designed by architectMarie Coulter in the 1930s. Watchtower, a circular towerwith a winding staircase, takes visitors to four levels. On eachlevel, dozens of Coulter-designed windows look out over themile-deep canyon. Each offers unique focal points. Scores ofbrownish-red layers of rock stand unperturbed. A perfectlyrounded granite cone thrusts up among piles of globular rocks.A cluster of mammoth, flat and smooth horizontal rocks abutsa canyon-deep vertical wall equally as flat and smooth as itsneighboring rocks. Configurations of rocks and trees intertwinein oddly mesmerizing arrangements. These windows vacuumout intrusive thoughts, and thus we more directly perceivesuperlative Grand Canyon scenes. Becoming more mindful,we're shocked by their beauty.

Like Coulter's windows, some meditations provideframes or reminders of how to witness our surroundings. Myappreciation of the exquisite details of my complex's swimmingpool developed after several years of meditation grounding mein the recognition that my essence expresses itself as consciousawareness. Meditative practices, including this chapter'sawareness of awareness, can propel us into more awareness.

During any particular experience, we can notice focalpoints. A focal point attracts us and vibrates for us. Thetallness and roundness of the big tree was my first focal pointobservation. The second was the bright, ash-greenness of theleaf clusters. The third was the awesme complexity of the leafclusters. These focal points did not detract from my overallawareness of the big tree itself. I saw the entire big tree and theentire little tree next to it. These trees were obviously outsidethe fence of the swimming pool. Yet my attention on thetree's three successive focal points emotionally and physicallyconnected me to the tree and the entire environment. I becamemore alive. Each of these experiences was unique. In spirituallanguage, I was "present" or "here and now," "mindful." Mostimportantly, I was aware that I was consciously attentive, oneafter the other, to the tree's ovular form, then to the bright ash-greennessof the leaf clusters, then to the clusters' complexity,and then to the tree's location outside the fence. This form ofawareness I call "conscious awareness" because we're self-awareof being aware of something.

My yoga teachers command students, "Be fully aware ofeach movement, posture, and breath." These teachers often usethe term "mindfulness" for pure or conscious awareness of anactivity and its focal points.

What keeps us disconnected from conscious awareness ofour environment and its successive focal points? One answeris unconscious negative beliefs that continuously shoot outnegative thoughts and feelings. I call these semiconsciousnegative thoughts and feelings add-ons because they're anuisance added onto our otherwise happy lives. Chapter 2provides extended definitions and examples of negative beliefsand their add-ons.

Last year at my church, a liberal, inclusive denomination,I taught forty minutes of this chapter's awareness of awarenessmeditation to a Coming of Age class for youngsters elevento thirteen. I took twelve of them down the street until wereached an area with abundant trees and bushes. Then I guidedthem through the awareness of awareness meditation at the endof this chapter. When finished, we returned to their classroom,where I questioned them about their experiences. I began with,"When you were aware of being aware, did you see an objectmore clearly?" One boy's answer was, "I don't care about allthose trees and flowers. I only care about cars. The cars didshine more when I knew I was looking at them. The colorsespecially." A girl responded with, "I felt a bit more ... how doI say it? There! I was there with what you asked us to look at." Aboy, who I later learned has a neurological disorder, reported,"I loved it. I was one tree. I was one house. But I couldn't do itfor the two minutes you asked for. My mind kept screwing upwith ideas." My reply to him was, "Great! If you do it only forone minute for each object, or only for ten or fifteen seconds,do that. Whatever works for you." He nodded with a smile.All the children spoke about their enjoyment of the meditation.

The following Sunday during the coffee break after theservice, the Coming of Age teacher spoke with me. She shookher head in amazement. "The kids were excited after youleft. They talked about the exercise the rest of the class. Onlypositives. No normal sneering at all."

I wondered, What would these kids' lives be like if they took anawareness of awareness class during the entire last year of primary school?

Base Awareness and Conscious Awareness

Base Versus Conscious Awareness Base Versus Conscious AwarenessWorking with awareness of awareness meditation, werecognize the distinction between base awareness and consciousawareness. When we're not present with objects and their...