Rachel K. Frederick once went through life without knowing who she was because she didn't know who God was. By age forty-two, she'd become exhausted because the consequences of her sinful choices were just too heavy to carry. Just when she was ready to give up all hope, however, God's merciful arm reached down and lifted her into His grace. In that instant, she was transformed into a follower and fighter devoted to Christ. Since that day, her God-given faith compels her to testify about her experiences and to reveal her sinful past, which includes rebellion, fornication, adultery, murder, homosexuality, rage, vengeance, self-mutilation, suicidal tendencies, and with secrecy enabling them all. It's a journey that showcases the power of the Lord-one that can help you redefine your future just as it has redefined hers. Join Rachel as she walks with the Lord, putting her poor soul in His hands to witness the works of both God and Satan. She is awed by the many blessings that God intended for her in life, having discovered that it's never too late to turn back and receive them.
Crucified with Christ
My Spiritual Death and Resurrection
By Rachel K. FrederickiUniverse LLC
Copyright © 2014 Rachel K. Frederick
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4917-2315-9Contents
Prologue, vii,
Part One: DISCOVERY OF TRUTH,
Dedication, 3,
Chapter 1 In The Beginning, 5,
Chapter 2 Knowledge: The Power Of Belief, 9,
Chapter 3 An Inherited Consequence, 21,
Chapter 4 The Heart Of The Matter, 28,
Chapter 5 Hello My Truth, 38,
Chapter 6 To Trust And Obey, 50,
Chapter 7 Trying On For Size, 54,
Chapter 8 Surrendering Of Old, 58,
Part Two: DESCENT INTO DARKNESS,
Dedication, 65,
Chapter 9 Blessed Is The Fruit Of Thy Womb, 67,
Chapter 10 An Innocence Threatened, 72,
Chapter 11 The Falling Of Prey, 80,
Chapter 12 In Secret Bondage, 92,
Chapter 13 Life Taken And Death Given, 103,
Chapter 14 Hiding Darkness With Darkness, 116,
Chapter 15 A Monster Called Grief, 124,
Chapter 16 The Dawning Of Light, 136,
Chapter 17 Hard To Say Goodbye, 145,
Part Three: ASCENT INTO LIGHT,
Dedication, 167,
Chapter 18 The Spirit Implodes / Chains Are Broken, 169,
Chapter 19 Awakened To The Spiritual, 189,
Chapter 20 Desire Of Purification, 219,
Chapter 21 Broken Secrecy Induces Healing, 233,
Chapter 22 Hard Lesson But Worth It, 248,
Chapter 23 Kindred Spirits Desire Christ, 267,
Chapter 24 A Testing Of Faith, 282,
Chapter 25 Follow Where He Leads, 292,
Chapter 26 Trusting The Spirit And Guide, 315,
Chapter 27 Embracing The Fullness Of Faith, 325,
Chapter 28 Speak Life / Give Life, 330,
Epilogue, 341,
Final Dedication, 345,
CHAPTER 1
In The Beginning
In the beginning of my journey, I really could not move forward without knowing a few things, or, should I say, a lot of things! I attempted to get my information from family, friends, and even priest, but, there would always come a time when they would look down at their watches, and that meant, that they had other obligations to get to. I was so distraught over that, because whatever had entered into me was seriously craving the truth of it all, yet, I just couldn't seem to satisfy its massive cravings. I then asked God to explain before I allowed him to lead me where he wanted. I'm kind of ashamed to say this, but, I was clueless. I knew nothing about him or about creation itself. I didn't know who I was, why I existed, or, what the meaning of life was all about. I couldn't understand how our world could be so cruel if we have such a loving God. If he truly was Creator of the universe and everything in it, I wanted him to explain to me what no one else had ever been able to. So, I raised my little eyes to the sky and persistently began to request,
"Oh God, if you want me to know this stuff, then you're going to have to teach me yourself. No one else seems to have enough time to explain it all. My Lord, I do wish to know, I do! Please God, tell me what it all means. Who are you? What are you? And what are you meant to be for me? Oh God, why do so many of us not know you? I hear your call to follow, but, how can I follow that which I cannot see and do not know?"
He intrigued me when his Holy Spirit took possession of my barely beating heart. Actually, it freaked me out at first! Then it intrigued me. I needed to know more, much more, in order to be able to understand and accept it all. Yes, it seemed that the call came; for me to reject this world and embrace the cross. So, what did I do? I finally decided to answer; I stopped and dropped everything to let him teach me all about it. I gave up the world and its things and I sat at the feet of Jesus. If he was willing to give up everything to teach me, then I was willing to give up everything to learn. I let the world fade into the background and it was just me and Jesus from that point on.
So, what I was taught in the very beginning is what I will speak about in Part One of this book. Part One encompasses the first few chapters, and, it is actually the beginning of my spiritual journey into my new life in Christ. It is a summary of what I learned while sitting at my Lord's feet. The truth that I learned while there is what allowed me to withstand the difficult journey that followed; the journey into my past mistakes. You see, in actuality, there are two separate journeys I will speak of; one into my new life and one into my old life. Part One will begin to bring you into the call to a new life of holiness, and, Part Three will take you into my finally embracing such. Part Two, however, will have you entering with me, into the difficulties that arose within my old life of sin. I realize that may sound strange, but that is exactly how it all played out; God called me to new life, I answered, he taught, I learned, and then I fully embraced the new life he called me to. That's how it happened, my friend; strange or not.
You will find that the story will have some tense changes back and forth, from the past to the present. That is because, as I stated earlier, we live in the worldly and spiritual realms simultaneously. The memories that Jesus took me to visit were those of disturbing times in my life. The story's words will attempt to describe those times to you, while also allowing you to know of the conversations had between me and my Lord, while viewing the memories through my spiritual eye. Remember, he was walking me into the past, as if we were literally walking along a path that led there. Try to imagine, if you will, yourself being a companion on that path with us, walking into the past while still remaining in the present. I hope the words are able to paint the pictures needed, that will allow you to see and hear, all that we saw and heard.
You may be thinking, how long did all that take to play out? Well, from the time of my encounter with God, to the time of this book being finished, approximately nineteen months had passed by. At the moment of that encounter, Jesus swept me up into the spiritual realm and kept me there for nineteen straight months. Many people, if not most, would say that that is nowhere near enough time to learn about God's mysteries. Even my friends and family would tell me that it takes a lifetime to acquire such knowledge. I understood what they were saying, but they didn't understand what I was experiencing. I felt like I was living a month in a day. That's how long each day seemed to me. Whatever I did, said, and learned in one day, literally felt like I did, said and learned it about a month prior. And every single day within those nineteen months felt the same way. Yes, it was confusing and very overwhelming, but, it was also an experience that I will treasure for eternity. It certainly is true that God's timing is not our timing.
What I mean by saying a month in a day is that in one day within the spiritual realm, I was taught what would normally take thirty days to learn in the worldly realm. If you did the math, you would find that in those nineteen months, I spiritually lived thirty days in one day, which totals out to be seventeen thousand one hundred days. Divide that by the number of days in a year and your answer would be forty six years. Add those forty six years of living in the spiritual realm to my previously lived forty two years in the worldly realm, and you will have a total of eighty eight years. So, if you break it down that way and look at it with your spiritual eye, you would conclude that I have lived long enough, to acquire the amount of...
