"A thoughtful and expansive biography of PTSD." -Annie Vainshtein, The San Francisco Chronicle
When Dr. Tim Lewis was twenty-eight years old, his father shot his mother while she was sleeping in his childhood bedroom, and then he turned the gun on himself. As he sat in the hospital waiting room while his mother clung to her life, his friends and family seemed to have only one question for him: "Why?" This book is his attempt at an answer.
While Daddy is the story of Dr. Lewis's trauma, substance abuse, and his lifelong dedication to PTSD research as a clinical psychologist, it turns out it is also the story of America and American men.
When he first set out to write this book, Dr. Lewis intended to include a brief exploration of PTSD to help round out his personal narrative while including some helpful historical information about the early days of psychology. However, after just a little digging, solid, scientific-seeming principles began to slip through his fingers. He realized that as a culture-including in the discipline of psychology-our relationship with trauma is like that of a familiar cousin we see only at weddings and funerals-we might think we know it, but we don't.
What Dr. Lewis discovered is not just an entertaining dive into medical history, but also a story with relevant, far-reaching implications, not the least of which is the question of personal responsibility in the perpetration of domestic abuse and other forms of violence. What happens to a person as they experience trauma? Are they in control as they are being traumatized? Years later, when and if that trauma resurfaces as abuse perpetrated on others, are they in control then? How come some victims become abusers and others don't?
There are no easy answers to these questions, but in Daddy, Dr. Lewis explores possible conclusions through the history of his own trauma, his father's upbringing and time fighting in World War II, and the United States' troubling past of slavery, misogyny, war, and systemic oppression. Betty White also makes an appearance.
The Founding Fathers who signed the Declaration of Independence assuring that "all men are created equal" were also men who beat and enslaved human beings. If we can for a moment see our whole nation as a single person whose guiding principle is this document, what does it mean for our founding principles to be so rife with delusion and cognitive dissonance? In what way is our culture itself traumatized and forever oscillating back and forth-like a traumatized person presenting Borderline Personality Disorder-between victim and perpetrator.
Finally, through therapy, meditation, education, and radical acceptance, can PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, and other issues related to trauma be cured for good? Can we help ourselves and those in our lives to leave their pasts behind and re-emerge as more caring, more present, and less troubled individuals?
Dr. Tim Lewis is a San Francisco-based writer and clinical psychologist specializing in the treatment of trauma-related disorders. His areas of interest include issues of loss, identity, and well-being. Lewis grew up in the Midwest and was an avid reader from an early age. His love of stories made him feel less isolated and opened worlds beyond his conservative upbringing, helping him to make sense of his unhappy family and emerging gay identity. In college, Lewis majored in English and began developing his flair for the written word. As a young adult, Lewis' life was turned upside down in the wake of his parent's murder-suicide and the loss of many of his close friends to AIDS. Grappling with PTSD and addiction, Lewis developed a number of prescient insights into the traumatized mind that he would later draw upon in his work as a therapist and writer. During the initial stages of his recovery, Lewis began working as a counselor for unsheltered and low-income individuals suffering from addiction and severe mental health issues. His work with socially disenfranchised populations in community mental health would continue for well over a decade, spanning the years of his graduate school training up until the establishment of his own private practice. Living in the Castro district during the latter stages of the AIDS epidemic, Lewis witnessed the devastation of the virus and the effects of the first generation of life-saving HIV medications on gay men. He began to question why so many people spared from what was once considered a death sentence were struggling to restart their lives. His dissertation, HIV and the Lazarus Syndrome: A Question of Workforce Reentry, delves into the long-term trauma of living with HIV, offering insights into the corrosive effects of feeling both unproductive and beholden to occupational limitations imposed by dependence on disability benefits. Lewis' research into these questions inspired his love of Positive Psychology, a field concerned with better understanding our emotional well-being and the habits of mind that help people live more meaningful and fulfilling lives. Shortly thereafter, Lewis became deeply involved with the philosophy and theories that underpin what is popularly known as mindfulness. His personal meditation practice is informed by the Vipassana tradition and he utilizes these approaches in his work as a therapist and in his writing. With his book, Daddy, Lewis synthesizes these varied interests and experiences and applies them to the question of why his father murdered his mother and committed suicide. Moving beyond individual experience and family narrative, Lewis broadens his framework to consider how traumatic violence is manufactured and perpetuated at a cultural level through systemic oppression. Lewis lives among the redwoods of Marin County, CA with his husband, Steve, and their twelve-year-old daughter, Gemma. Gemma, a person living with autism, has challenged the couple to grow in ways they never imagined possible. Appreciating and making sense of life with these stupefying and remarkable individuals is the topic of Lewis' next book, Gemma Can't Play Hide and Seek.
