Life expectancy worldwide increased by thirty years in the twentieth century. Even so, many soon-to-be retirees don't expect to live decades beyond eighty. They typically haven't thought much about what their lives will be like after retirement, except to be glad to be done with rising at the break of dawn, punching time clocks, and fighting crowds on lanes or trains. But after two or three years of retirement, the days become dull, and their bodies become listless. In contrast, other retirees engaged with the world are seeking out fulfilling projects and programs. These people are looking for things to do-ways to use their newfound years to fulfill old dreams. Once they did, they did not describe life as a half full (or half empty) bucket; they needed two buckets to hold the summation of their lives! These are the people who inspired the writing of Dance until the Music Stops. With personal experiences, research, anecdotes, insights, and humor, author Esther C. Gropper developed this guide to help seniors enjoy their retirement and learn the "what's what" of extended life.

Dance until the Music Stops

An Inspiring Guide to Extended LifeBy Esther C. Gropper

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2011 Esther C. Gropper
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4620-5406-0

Contents

Introduction.....................................................................................ix1. You Are Top Priority.........................................................................12. Questions We Need to Ask.....................................................................93. Life as an Investment Folio..................................................................154. We Are Living a New Kind of Tribal Life......................................................195. Taking Personal Inventory....................................................................236. Meeting and Greeting.........................................................................297. Finding New Interests........................................................................358. Art of Conversation..........................................................................399. Things You Can Learn from a Donkey...........................................................4710. Health.......................................................................................5311. There Is a Process for Choice and Change.....................................................59Living for Change................................................................................5912. What a Time We Live In: Changing Mores.......................................................6513. To Exist Is to Change........................................................................7314. Accepting the Changes........................................................................8115. Sunshine and Rain in the Ebbing Years........................................................8916. Memoirs......................................................................................9317. Are Your Juices Still Flowing?...............................................................10118. Stored In Memory.............................................................................10719. Imp of the Perverse..........................................................................11120. Awaken the Brain.............................................................................11721. You're Primed for Adventure..................................................................12322. Sexuality in the Elderly.....................................................................12923. Romance and Sex..............................................................................13724. Fun-Loving Seniors...........................................................................14125. Dealing with Problems........................................................................14526. Re-channeling Emotions.......................................................................153On wounded feelings:.............................................................................153Anger............................................................................................154Loneliness.......................................................................................156Stormy Weather...................................................................................158Recommended for disappointments and for healing a rift in your relationship:.....................16027. Choice Is Everything.........................................................................16528. Know Thyself.................................................................................16929. Learn to Fit In..............................................................................17330. Life Is a Ballet Dance.......................................................................17731. Stay on the Happy Side.......................................................................181Passion and Perseverance.........................................................................189One Inspired Person Affects a County.............................................................19232. About the Author.............................................................................21533. Acknowledgments..............................................................................21734. References...................................................................................221

Chapter One

You Are Top Priority

Jacques Brel, playwright and lyricist of Jacques Brel is Alive and Well and Living in Paris, identified the two important dates in life: your birth and your death. That said, it's up to you to fill in the drama and comedy that represent "your hour upon the stage and then is heard no more," except in the memory of those who knew you.

How can we fill that time?

Old answers are no longer viable.

We are the first senior adult population with what can be considered an extended generational life span. We are a new generation of an older population with no previous models before us. We have longer lives, stronger lives, and active minds and bodies seeking a new approach to the added years. Quite possibly, this is an evolutionary step up in human development. Yes, we have had elders living into the 90's and 100's before but never as notably as in the contemporary period.

Life expectancy worldwide increased by thirty years in the twentieth century. In the United States, it might be slightly higher. Available census figures show an increase of 4.5 million people in the United States since 1998. The population 65 and over in the year 2000 will increase from 35 million to 40 million (a 15 percent increase) and then to 55 million in 2010 (a 36 percent increase for that decade). One of the messages to be deduced is that society must find ways and means to make longevity a benefit or blessing, not a burden.

The generation now in their seventies, eighties, and nineties is novel. Extended age opens new passages never traversed before; new questions and solutions never considered before; new modes of living never lived before. Because the aging community is reshaping its perceptions and values, old solutions no longer reconcile with older people. Old answers are no longer viable nor are they desirable. For instance, taking refuge with children is old hat; old hat is old stuff. The very word old is outmoded. Our senior population possesses vigor and vitality; its members approach life energetically, like lively molecules seeking new arrangements.

Maintaining that high level of energy and interest is a top priority, and it doesn't take a proverbial rocket scientist to figure out why when we live in a youth-oriented culture. Stylists make very little distinction between ages: clothes are cut to fit a good figure—good meaning slim. Meanwhile, on another wavelength, you are urged, cajoled, and pressured to exercise while being lectured on its value every day. If you're in your twenties or thirties, you're eager to keep that size four or six, so you're diligent about the before- or after-work gym program. After that, it's a challenge to stay trim. You conscientiously watch your diet, walk the ten blocks to the bus or train, walk a flight or two of stairs instead of taking an elevator for short stops, keep your body moving more, and adhere to good health routines.

Staying youthful is a state of mind; living a life that keeps the bounce in your step will positively influence the image you convey. Think of pleasant things to do, retain...