A DATE WITH DESTINY: ANTICIPATE GREATNESS

THE GREATNESS OF GOD

God has placed the promise of greatness inside of you. God has placed greatness inside of you as a couple. God will meet you wherever you are, despite wherever you've been. Seize this promise. Accept your gift. Align yourselves with God's purpose, and begin your date with destiny.

One of the most important lessons that every believer needs to know is that you are not defined by what has happened in your past. You are defined by how you respond. See this in God's word to the prophet Joel.

Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice: for the LORD will do great things.

Be not afraid, ye beasts of the field: for the pastures of the wilderness do spring, for the tree beareth her fruit, the fig tree and the vine do yield their strength.

Be glad then, ye children of Zion, and rejoice in the LORD your God: for he hath given you the former rain moderately, and he will cause to come down for you the rain, the former rain, and the latter rain in the first month.

And the floors shall be full of wheat, and the vats shall overflow with wine and oil.

And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.

And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed.

And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the LORD your God, and none else: and my people shall never be ashamed. (Joel 2:21-27)

These people endured incredible persecution and oppression. They had lost much; they had gone through incredible pain. Perhaps this is your story as well.

Stephaine and I recognized early on in our relationship that we had to deal with our losses if we were going to have a healthy relationship. For me, it was the loss of my first wife, Diane. Diane passed away after a battle with cancer at age 37 in 2005. We were married for eleven years, and I had to come to a place of wholeness before I could be all I needed to be for Stephaine. It was important for me to go through personal and group therapy in order to deal with my pain. I had to admit that for three years of my life after Diane's death I was so consumed with preserving her legacy that I had not given myself an opportunity to experience the joy of a new relationship. It was important for Stephaine to know me as Joseph first and not as Diane's husband. Likewise, it was important for me to see myself as Joseph first and not as Diane's husband.

Stephaine had lost her older sister, Wendy, a few years before we met and was still struggling with numerous questions herself. Could she have done more? At the time of her sister's death, Stephaine was a resident physician. And while experiencing the pain of a sister dying unexpectedly at age 40, Stephaine had to be the voice of reason to her family in regard to what was transpiring before all their eyes. Wendy had been a mentor and "big sister," and Stephaine realized how important it was to deal with this pain so that she might be in a better position to move forward after dealing with her grief.

Our pain ended up being a point of connectivity in our relationship. We were able to communicate about it and be transparent about where we were in the process. I believe God brings people together who can identify with the depth of each other's pain. Our stories served as a catalyst for the development of our relationship. We cried together and gave each other permission to vent when necessary. Our relationship became a safe place, and consequently, over time, this created a level of trust between us. We were convinced that God had brought us together to remind us that He is a restorer. No matter how deep and acute the pain, a part of our destiny is working through that pain together.

You may be reading this book and wondering if things are going to turn out right in your situation. You're really wondering if what has happened in your life has already been the defining moment of your destiny. Is it too late? Is it too late for a new beginning? God's answer is "No."

GOD BROUGHT YOU TOGETHER

God has brought you together to work in His purpose, not apart from it. You are not competitors, rather companions. Healthy couples have like vision and passions and are willing to make the necessary sacrifices for the success of the relationship. But, as an individual, if you don't know where you are going, it's hard to expect someone to go with you. To be a couple on a date with destiny means that you have to be in this together. You have to be committed.

Walking through our pain together means that we come out together on the other side. Stephaine and I have lived by this principle and it has blessed our relationship and marriage. You have to make a conscious decision to move forward and not become paralyzed by your pain. When God says in Isaiah 43:19 that "I will do a new thing: now it shall spring forth," He is saying He wants us to position ourselves spiritually, emotionally, and physically so that we can move forward, for it to happen.

I remember watching a young boy who was afraid to jump off the diving board into the deep water. He was comfortable with familiar surroundings; therefore, when he got on the diving board, he clung to it instead of jumping in, releasing himself into the water. I tell people all the time that you cannot "spring" if you "cling." You will never reach your full potential in relationships if you are holding on to things in your past. It's all right to have a history, but don't become a prisoner to your past. God has placed so much in you, and it cannot be eclipsed by your pain. We all come to a place where we have to decide if we are going to move ahead or stay stuck in the past. Will we wallow in the mire of our yesterday or will we pursue the greatness that lies ahead? Stephaine and I chose the latter, and I encourage you to do the same. We dealt with our past but then moved on. If we hadn't, we wouldn't be together today.

SHIFT TOWARD GREATNESS

God wants you to stop focusing so much on what has happened in the past. It's time for you as a child of God to make a shift. In other words, God is saying, "I'm moving you out of the season of your past pain, out of that season of destruction and despair. And I'm shifting you into a brand-new season where I'm getting ready to do some great and awesome things."

When God begins to shift you, things around you begin to happen. Sometimes you don't understand why they're happening, but God is literally moving you into the best days of your life.And even though you may have been wounded in your past, it's time to pick yourself up and declare, "What's ahead of me is better than what's been before!"

Something inside of you has to say, "This is my finest hour. So even with tears in my eyes, I have to convince myself that it's gonna get better...