This book is about one woman's journey as she shares her stories through recollected adversities she faced growing up in a dysfunctional home being exposed to the street and drug life at an early age. She vividly tells of different accounts she had to experience beginning with her mother's drug addicted pregnancy, family neglect, rape, drug use, and continuous death. She explains how all of these destructive and stumbling blocks were later used for a greater purpose. Her hopeless future turned into a born-again and promising future into what she never thought or imagined. This story can be used to encourage people who lives seem to be going in one direction and learn how God can turn things around- for better.
The Day I Died but Now Live!
By Serenia FarrellAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2012 Serenia Farrell
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4772-5202-4Chapter One
"The Dying Experience"
Jesus answered and said to him most assuredly I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God! John 3:3
Have you been searching for something and unsure of what you're searching for? But deep down inside you know there must be an answer! The truth is we all search in different places and in different ways but there is one answer waiting for us. I once was searching. I mean I was looking high and low and didn't even know who or what I was searching for. All I knew was I wanted PEACE, LOVE, AND UNDERSTANDING ABOUT LIFE.
Do you know what I was looking for was there all the time? It was just waiting for me to ask Him for help. His name is JESUS! He knew one day I would get so lost trying to find Him that I would cry out for help. But I didn't know he would be right there to save me. I was so busy looking in all the wrong places. I couldn't hear Him knocking at the door to my heart. He said in REVELATIONS 2:20
"Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him and he with me."
I so was thirsty for the truth that I was spending all my time trying to figure things out. Funny thing is we all try to figure things out because we want to know and won't stop until we find it. But what happens is, while we're searching in places we think are right, we learn it's only a deception by our enemy to pull us further away from the truth. My eyes were opened once I found the truth. WOW! Life for me had shifted to a different scenario. I really saw how the enemy tried to keep me from the truth, knowing I would no longer be in bondage to him.
I know I am not by myself when it comes to searching in the wrong places. There were many mistakes I made. My mistakes might help you see the truth and hear that knock at your heart.
In our search for peace, love, happiness and joy we can mistake many temporary fixes such as relationships, sex, parties, drugs, and money as our answer! Well I can tell you none of these things are the answer to living a fulfilling life.
When it appears that we are alone in this world, we typically look for company. Some of us may run to the hottest club just to be around other people or even to meet somebody to take home. We might also go to have fun to get our minds off the loneliness by dancing and singing to get that temporary feeling of joy. But at the end of the night you are exhausted! Disgusted! And sometimes busted! Dizzy from drinking and drugging, disappointed if you didn't meet the right person.
You got nothing out of that just a hangover and some broke pockets because you spent your last dollars getting in, on a new outfit, hair done (which is all sweated out now) and buying drinks all night! You might come home with a phone number, maybe from somebody that is in worst shape than you. That doesn't sound like any fun. We are so desperate to find the answer that we go to extreme measures and actually believe we "like" doing these things. Just like drugs, we may feel good temporarily then eventually go into a slump still looking for answers.
All the good you think drugs do, it only makes everything much worst. You get depended on it and always going for it when you should go to JESUS! You think you're using the drugs but they are really using you. Look at what it does when you need some love, comfort, answers, and peace. What do you get for a response? What does it do for you? Deceive you by giving you that temporary numbness, lying to you making you think just for that moment that it's all right and telling you "Take some more of me it's going to be all right." Then what do we go and do? We spend more money on drugs that we don't have, wondering why we're upset in the first place. So, now that we see that these fixtures that appeared to be the answer are not. What do we do?
Well, let me tell you what I did! I went to the ultimate club called church! Now this was one club where I did not come out exhausted and disgusted. My answer was waiting for me at the door. Jesus was his name. I was kind of shaky at first because I had never seen anything in my life like this. A large room filled with people who were mostly my age having a good old time listening to this beautiful, mighty woman talking. I was curious. Right away I wanted to know what this woman was talking about that was so good that people were continually clapping their hands, stomping their feet and jumping for joy! I thought to myself I finally found the answer I have been looking for. These people have something I need right away.
To my surprise, the woman was talking about Jesus!! Everyone in the church seemed to have a relationship with Him. They knew I didn't know Him because I wouldn't have been able to sit there calm like that. So, they asked me if I wanted to meet him. I was so happy that I started crying tears of Joy! They told me he loves me unconditionally and all I have to do is ask him to forgive me of all my sins. He did! Then I heard the knock and I opened the door and let Him into my heart. I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior and he saved me. Jesus saved me from all that sin that kept me down and from that long journey of searching. Oh! There's more!
I eventually joined in on the party that was going on. This was the best time ever. I started clapping my hands, stomping my feet and jumping for joy. OH! We were just praising and worshiping Him for what he did for all of us especially for his unconditional love. But wait there was something else in store better than any drug I ever had. It's the HOLY GHOST! You talk about good! It was potent. I was so high! The best part about the holyghost is you can get it at any time just call Jesus! Once you try it I promise you're hooked.
What a night! I left out of church so blessed, free, peaceful, and joyful and I even took Jesus home with me. As I finally made it in my bedroom Jesus told me he would never leave or forsake me. This was the beginning of the best relationship I ever had. He reminded me that all things come from our father GOD up in heaven, which sent him, JESUS!
When he told me that he loves us so much that he was crucified and had died for our sins, so that we could have eternal life he said he would take care of me give me unconditional love, he would teach me, keep me happy and satisfied. He didn't want me to worry about anything and to let him handle all my troubles. I was so amazed. All I had to do was obey his commandments and listen to him. I had no problem with being obedient to him because I had been obedient to men before and they didn't offer me any of those things. This was just the beginning of a loving and genuine relationship. All I had to do was trust him, believe in him and be obedient to him. I decided I would do those things unto him just for the love alone, that he has for me and because I can never love him as much as he loves me. I would delight myself in him. The bible said in Psalms 37:4: "Delight yourself also in the Lord and HE shall give you the desires of your heart."
June 2000, one day after work, I got off on the wrong exit to come home. I don't how I missed my normal exit. I ended up in front of my girlfriend house from college in Harlem. We used to always get into deep conversations about God and religion in college. When I pulled up to her house she was outside ready to talk. I explained to her that I was not happy.
At that time, I was engaged to...
