Even now, nineteen years after my son's injury, I feel my praying for a miracle was answered. Dan's faith in believing has been astounding. The insight of his spiritual belief, I realize, was based from his youth. Dan was a happy child. He sets goals early on; his bravery has been so inspiring, for he had many crosses to bear when his life was changed dramatically. Instead of his family assuring him, it was him who assured us that God had a purpose. He transformed what he believed by proving his confidence in doing and by a living faith. It easily could have been farewell to farming, but he proved to himself and to others he could fulfill his long-time dream of farming. He looked to the bright side with I can" instead of "I can't" by staying true to his vision and keeping focus on tomorrow and moving toward larger visions. I, myself, had to learn all over to what one would say, letting go. There was not an hour in twenty-four I didn't worry. By mere osmosis, I absorb the craft of letting Dan have an open road just as I did in his young youth. He proved paralysis is a choice and that what ifs are a waste of time"

A Day That Would End Tearing at Your Heart

By Ruby Gwin

Trafford Publishing

Copyright © 2012 Ruby Gwin
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4669-4955-3

Contents

Introduction....................................................7Chapter 1 The Wings of Prayer...................................11Chapter 2 Homecoming............................................19Chapter 3 Incomprehensible Miracles.............................33Chapter 4 Blessings.............................................37Chapter 5 Life's Golden Gift of Wisdom..........................45Chapter 6 Greatest Times........................................53Chapter 7 Learning Tools........................................63Chapter 8 Education of Life.....................................69Chapter 9 Different Directions..................................75Chapter 10 A Predetermined Course...............................85Chapter 11 A Special Course.....................................93Chapter 12 Special Bond.........................................97Chapter 13 Caring in a Special Way..............................107Chapter 14 Guiding Light of Hope................................115Chapter 15 Old Habits Along with New Help.......................119Chapter 16 With a Thankful Heart................................123Chapter 17 We Never Walk Alone..................................129Chapter 18 Help Thyself Brighten thy Corner.....................137Chapter 19 Reaching Thy Goal, Step by Step......................143About the Author................................................149About the Book..................................................151Acknowledgement.................................................153

Chapter One

The Wings of Prayer

It was a cold, icy February evening in 1988. A winter day that was to change our lives so drastically started like any other—just a normal day. I was preparing our evening meal. My husband, Carl, had been at the farm and had just gotten in the house when the phone rang.

Carl answered the telephone and was told that our son Dan had fallen, and it didn't look good. Carl immediately rushed to Dan's place, just a quarter mile south of our house. As he left, I was still unaware of the seriousness of the fall. Dan had been cleaning the ice off the tarp of the trailer of his semi-trailer and lost his grip. He fell on the icy, hard ground, crushing his spine.

I waited for what seemed like an eternity until finally Carl returned. He said, "An ambulance is taking Dan to the hospital." The expression on his face made me afraid to ask, "How bad is it?" I was filled with fear, for I knew his answer. We both just stood there not saying anything. I don't remember much from that point until we left for the hospital, I do remember calling our other son and daughter (both pharmacists) to tell them what I knew and where Dan was going to be taken.

Our drive to the hospital was quiet. Thinking back, I can see myself so clearly that winter evening: a day that would end tearing at your heart. Thank God the day could not be foreseen that morning. Sometimes we get pretty complacent in our thinking, taking everything for granted.

Once at the hospital, we waited around for some time. Finally the neurosurgeon came and told us that nothing could be done. Dan would be kept overnight and transferred the next day to a hospital in Indianapolis. Carl and I both were exhausted, confused, and terribly frightened. Never had we felt so helpless. We believed Dan should have been lifelined immediately to the trauma center in Indianapolis. Immediate medical care within the first eight hours following injury is critical.

Carl was aware of the seriousness of the fall, for he was a medic during World War II. He tried to shield me by not saying anything, but I knew when I saw Dan at the hospital; no one had to tell me. Dan knew too, for while waiting for the ambulance to arrive, he said, "Dad, you will have to take care of things for me. I don't have any feeling in my legs." This I didn't know. I know this must have been very hard on Carl, for in so many ways he was helpless. The waiting for the ambulance had to be sheer terror for them both.

Carl and I lost track of time. We don't remember when we went home or what our drive to the Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis was like; it's all blank.

Late the next morning, Dan was transferred to the Methodist Hospital by ambulance where he lay in severe pain, waiting to be taken care of in emergency. He had not been given anything for pain; they didn't want him to have anything until he had been seen by the neurosurgeon there. It was some time before he was attended to in the emergency room and placed in the spinal cord care unit. It was evening before Dr. Feuer, a neurosurgeon, came and talked with the family in a conference room. He said, "Your son is very smart, and he understands his condition is serious. There is a possibility you could lose Dan for the next three weeks. I will not operate right now; it may be a few days, because Dan could go into shock."

Everything had happened so fast that it was hard to comprehend. I could only find myself going from praying to asking, "Oh, God, why not me instead?"

It was hard to stay calm, but I knew we all had to help keep Dan reassured because he had to be frightened. We were frightened too, for him. Yet I realized that we should not let our fear of what might happen freeze us into inertia.

One morning—I am not sure what day it was, for everything was just reduced to begging from within for Dan to be all right—Carl and I came home to take care of some necessary business for Dan. We thought it would be okay since they said they were going to wait to operate. There had been no mention of surgery yet. We made it as quick a trip as possible, but upon our arrival back at the hospital, we were told Dan had just been taken into the operating room.

Words can never tell how we felt at that moment. I found myself in a trance, feeling lost, hurt, and unable to believe what I heard. Neither Carl nor I would have left the hospital under any condition had we known. I did know, though, that Dr. Feuer felt Dan was stable enough for the surgery, or he would not have proceeded. We felt the surgeons knew what they were doing and had made a right decision. Dr. Feuer would later become Dan's rock. He was the right doctor for Dan at the time—a wonderful man and a wonderful neurosurgeon.

Hour after hour went by; it was a long ordeal during which all our thoughts were on Dan. Finally, we were told he was in recovery and the doctors would be out to talk with the family. My heart was pounding when Dr. Feuer, the lead doctor of the team, came out. He said, "The surgery went well. When we operated, the spinal cord went right back into place, so we're hopeful of a fifty-fifty chance of recovery, though it will be a while before we know the results."

After the surgery, I got to go in to see Dan, which will be an everlasting memory for me. At first glance, it was not my son; I did not recognize Dan. It is forever framed in my memory. He looked so swollen and was shivering beyond belief in extreme cold. I believe he was packed in ice. They had his head tilted downward, and one could see he was in serious condition.

Corticosteroids could have been administered at the previous hospital that would have taken down the swelling. I can't but wonder if, had the swelling been relieved sooner, the outcome would have been a different story. The neurosurgeon at the hospital felt that nothing could be done and said Dan would be transferred the next day to Indianapolis. It...