The book is about a southern Licensed Massage Therapist named Ms. Linnie Delmar. She uses her unusual unique style and different massage therapy techniques that sets her apart from all the others. She has worked with over 10 motion picture production companies and has traveled around the world working with well known A-list actors all of which have interesting stories to tell. She considers herself to be the female version of Forrest Gump due to doors continue to open for her because she has always been at the right place at the right time throughout her life of thrills and adventure. She has also managed to have four husbands on her life's journey. She wants women to listen to their inner spirit and pay attention to the warning signs that a mistake is on the way. Find out how she found her place and purpose in life without having a man to define her as the person she is today. She wants women to learn from the mistakes she has made about falling for a good looking, smooth talking, man who will steal your heart and try to trash your soul. Follow her into the light of life and happiness that were like ashes in the wind to her wild past and gave her the courage and strength to look forward to her future. Her story may inspire you, it may amuse you, but it will never bore you! Linnie's southern humor will entertain you and make you laugh with joy and cry with heartbreak!
DIVORCED on the Redneck Riviera
By Linnie DelmarAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2010 Ms. Linnie Delmar
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4520-4340-1 Contents
Prologue The Awakening...............................................................xiChapter 1. The Path Begins at a Broken Home.........................................1Chapter 2. Husband #1—Donnie, My First Love...................................19Chapter 3. Moving to the Redneck Riviera............................................37Chapter 4. Husband #2—Merle the Pearl.........................................51Chapter 5. Moving to Fairhope and Starting Over Again...............................71Chapter 6. Husband #3—Falling in Love with Rich...............................99Chapter 7. Moving to New Orleans and Starting Over Again............................121Chapter 8. Husband #4—Tony the Pony...........................................137Chapter 9. Moving to Atlanta and Starting Over Again................................153Chapter 10. Moving Back Home to Fairhope and Starting Over Again.....................167Chapter 11. Movie Stars That Miss Linnie Rubbed the Right Way!.......................177Chapter 12. End of My Journey........................................................191
Chapter One
THE PATH BEGINS AT A BROKEN HOME
The tempests in my life began with my birth, which maybe was a foreshadowing of things to come. I was born after a very long, hard labor involving many back-breaking hours and lots of pain. Isn't that the same story every mother tells about labor?
I was finally delivered by a young navy doctor. I wasn't breathing at all and had turned completely blue. They all thought I was dead. This young intern was determined that his first delivery wasn't going to die. He performed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation until I began to breathe on my own. Mama was screaming in horror, not knowing if I was dead or alive. She was a nervous wreck.
The young doctor made a big mistake and mentioned to Mama that I had already turned blue before he brought me back to life. From that day forward, every mistake I ever made was blamed on me being born a blue baby. If I have heard it once, I have heard it a million times. She would say in a low whisper, "You know, after all, she was born a blue baby." To this day, I still don't want to believe what I think it means. Of course, the way Mama says it, I am led to believe that since I was born a blue baby, I'm not the brightest bulb in the box; I'm one brick shy of a full load or one goose shy of a gaggle. I have always been called the pretty one while my other two sisters are called the smart ones. Since the day I was born, I have been trying to prove to Mama that her blue baby can be both pretty and smart, just like her.
Before my parents met and had me, they already had interesting stories of their own. My mother, a true Southern lady in every respect, is from Mobile, Alabama, and my biological father is a Yankee from Akron, Ohio. Other than both of them being very attractive, smart, and blessed with the most beautiful blue eyes you will ever see, they had nothing in common.
She had an adventuresome soul. The first real job she got was as a secretary at the Pentagon in Washington, D.C, where she was one of the youngest interns ever hired. She had no idea at the time that she was working in one of the largest buildings in the world. She was always late for work because she got lost every day trying to find her office—all the hallways looked the same. She took it upon herself to take her roller skates to work to wear so that she could find her office faster. Her boss was so impressed that he told her it was okay and to tell the other ladies that they could do the same in order for all of them to be on time for work. She started a trend that continued the entire time she worked there.
As a shy Southern transplant, she had many thrilling experiences. One of the best was visiting New York City and being in Times Square when it was announced that the Korean War was over. Everyone started kissing in the streets. I can see her now with her natural blonde hair, those exquisite blue eyes, a high-fashion outfit, and high heels, loving every minute of it.
Mom and Dad met at a skating rink when he was stationed in Pensacola, Florida. Both of them were accomplished skaters since childhood. He fell hard for her Southern charm and natural beauty.
When he was transferred to San Francisco, he begged her to follow him out there. With the same adventurous spirit that had led her to Washington, D.C., she agreed to move to the West Coast. It was a long train ride away. When her worried family sent her off, her grandma gave her one hundred dollars and told her, "You be careful of those strange people on that train." She followed Grandma's advice and pinned her money on the outside of her bra. But she fell asleep during the night and woke to find her money gone. Someone took her money right out of her bra. She was out of her environment and totally broke. What a mess! A nice navy man came to her rescue and loaned her a dollar to make a phone call to Dad so that he could come pick her up at the train station.
My mom and dad were married in beautiful San Francisco in 1945 by the same justice of the peace who, in later years, married Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio—in the same building, even the same room. How romantic was that?
After that exciting start, they moved to depressing Akron, Ohio, the rubber capital of the world and site of the home offices of the Goodyear and Firestone tire companies. My parents rented a small one-bedroom apartment that, in no time, Mama made into a charming home for the both of them. On a windy day, the smell of rubber was in the air to the point that it made Mama sick sometimes. It was very cold with lots of snow in Akron. Because Mama was raised on the warm, beautiful Gulf Coast of Mobile, she hated the cold so much. She felt cold most of the time and really disliked the snow. She was so homesick. She missed her mother and father and the warm sunshine and Southern hospitality of Alabama.
Because my dad was gone so much working, Mama suffered from extreme loneliness and depression. All she thought about was having a baby, a wish that was realized in 1948—after a move to Portsmouth, Virginia—with my dramatic birth on the navy base. They moved into a two-bedroom apartment that she made into the perfect little nest to bring me home to. I was the only grandchild on my dad's side of the family, so I was spoiled by my granny and by my mom and dad. My mama made most of my beautifully detailed baby clothes. My granny gave me a gold necklace and bracelet that I wore every day, and she liked to dress me up as often as possible.
At age four, I was so tired of being an only child and lonely, I kept bringing kids home from our neighborhood. I begged Mama to get me a baby sister. Finally, my beautiful baby sister Valerie was born. I was so happy because, even though I was only four years old, I wanted to care for her and protect her as a big sister should. This is a recurring theme in my life—taking care of others. To this day, my sister is still very important to me; she's a huge part of my life.
Val and I slept in the same tiny bedroom together, and after Mama would put us to bed, I would climb into Val's baby bed, pull her out, and put her in my bed with me to keep her warm and safe. I held her as close as I could to my tiny little body. I changed her diaper and...
