Their story is heartfelt and true. It chronicles the extraordinary circumstances of how two women met, and needed one another to begin families. This is a story of how lives and families become intertwined, and what perseverance and knowledge can accomplish. They take the reader through their journey with humor, tears, and raw emotion. Two stranger's quest for a family led to an unexpected life-long bond and friendship.
Egg Sisters
The true story of two strangers and how they changed a generationBy Alyson Gilmore Brenda SajewskiAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2009 Alyson Gilmore and Brenda Sajewski
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4389-8349-3Contents
Preface................................................................ixAlyson's Drug Deal.....................................................1Brenda's Story.........................................................4Alyson Gets an Idea....................................................14Alyson's Decision: To Give or Not To Give..............................17Brenda Wonders: Are Eggs Just Eggs?....................................20The First Gilmore-Sajewski Date........................................24The First Sajewski-Gilmore Date........................................27Alyson Finds a PMS Companion...........................................30The Cycle That Almost Wasn't...........................................39Alyson's Surgery.......................................................43Brenda's Day of Surgery................................................46Alyson Waits for the Results...........................................49Brenda Waits for the Phone Call........................................51Alyson Waits for the Phone Call........................................54Brenda Gets the Call...................................................56Alyson Gets Back On That Horse.........................................64Brenda Celebrates Pregnancies for Everyone.............................68Alyson's First Trimester...............................................71Brenda Prepares for Birth..............................................77Alyson's Aftermath.....................................................85Alyson Again Gets Back On That Horse...................................89Finally!...............................................................96Brenda Rejoices, Motherhood for All....................................99Alyson Gets One-Upped By Brenda........................................100Brenda Becomes Fertile Myrtle..........................................101Alyson Basks in Motherhood.............................................104Brenda's Pregnant ... Time for Bob to Hit the Road.....................106Alyson Hosts the Sajewskis.............................................110Brenda's Japanese Junket...............................................112Alyson's Japanese Pen Pal..............................................113Alyson Gets Some Shocking News.........................................115Brenda Learns of the Dead Rabbit.......................................117Alyson's Third Miracle Child...........................................118The Family Meet and Greet..............................................121Everyone Gets to Know Each Other.......................................122Alyson Wonders When to Tell the Kids...................................124Alyson's Egg Sister Returns Home to the States.........................126A Get-Away Vacation Is Planned.........................................127Viva Las Vegas!........................................................130My Feet Hurt...........................................................133Tao Shoes..............................................................137Alyson's Epilogue......................................................141Brenda's Epilogue......................................................145
Chapter One
Alyson's Drug Deal
A beautiful January evening in San Diego. I was enjoying the crisp air, cruising the freeway with my convertible's top down, wind in my hair, enigmatic smile on my face. If this scene were to be part of a movie, I think I'd best be played by Reese Witherspoon-confident and peppy, maybe even a bit sassy, and wearing really cool sunglasses. After all, I was about to make my first-ever drug purchase and was very excited that I'd be paying less than retail. While the drugs weren't illegal and I had a prescription for them, the way I'd be obtaining them was certainly in the legal gray area.
I was about to purchase injectable fertility drugs. Insurance companies pay very little, or none at all, for this type of prescription. As a result, infertility patients can easily spend $3,000 a month for this drug habit.
A nurse in my doctor's office had whispered to me that a patient had given up in her quest for a biological child and had moved into the arena of adoption. That patient had left her phone number with the nurse, saying she was willing to sell her remaining collection of drugs (at least a month's worth) at a good price.
I called that woman the following evening and introduced myself as a prospective buyer. Once we agreed upon the price of $1,000, we made arrangements to meet that Wednesday at her office parking lot in San Diego at 4 p.m. for the drug drop.
We wondered how we'd recognize one another. But, because we were likely to be the only two women in the parking lot at 4 p.m. each carrying a brown paper bag-hers with drugs, mine with cash-we decided, that couldn't be too difficult.
I arrived early and waited. She was right on time and dutifully carrying her paper bag. We formally introduced ourselves to one another and shook hands. I was hesitant to say too much to her, as I was sure that she was ready to put this rollercoaster of infertility treatments behind her and look ahead to the adoption of a beautiful baby. On the other hand, my ride was just beginning, and I was very hopeful.
She asked me about my infertility treatments, and we both laughed about the horrible months of using Clomid, the "wonder pill." We decided that the only wonder about that pill was how our dear husbands put up with our mood swings while we were taking it. She spoke of her husband in such a loving tone that I could tell they had a very committed and bonded relationship.
I shared my history with her, too, and felt very drawn to her smile and compassion. She was the first woman I'd spoken to about my infertility journey who had already "Been there. Done that." Soon, I worked up the courage to ask her more about her story.
Chapter Two
Brenda's Story
Alyson wanted to know "my story." Where do I start? Do I tell her that at age 31, I finally married my soul mate? Do I tell her that I started dealing with infertility at 18? That was when I was diagnosed with endometriosis. It was 1978, and this was a "new" disease.
What I knew now was that the years of painful periods I'd had as an adolescent were not just about me having a low-pain tolerance. If I could only take my mother back to all those times when she said, "This is what being a woman feels like, and you need to deal with it." As it would turn out, my mother was the first one to hold me tightly after my diagnosis and whisper the words, "I'm sorry." She wasn't sorry for just the diagnosis, but sorry for all those times she told me to "suck it up."
There was a time, when I was about 21 years old, that I was so desperate for a child and so afraid my diseased body would deny me, that I attempted artificial insemination with donor sperm. The three procedures were not successful, and I thought God was not listening to my heartfelt prayers. As time would tell, God was listening and knew that it just wasn't the right time for me. I spent the next 10 years having surgeries to keep my endometriosis at bay while at the same time trying to save my fertility.
I met Bob in the Washington, D.C. area when I was 29 years old. Twelve...
