WHAT WE THINK IS WHAT WE GET

Doesn't everyone love and relate to a great "Rags to Riches" story? How about a journey that was started in the dysfunction of a family already laced with addiction and mental illness? A story that was true and the only medication to make it through the scars left behind was alcohol. But with hiding the one of two diseases, the first being one that beat down an already troubled soul, took away all self-esteem, was punished with verbal abuse and lack of love, and then the second disease kicked in. It was a family disease that had been documented over the last generation. This disease took the life of a father by suicide. This disease left a family in constant fear and shambles. It was a disease that ran rampant throughout both sides of the family. It affected cousins and aunts and uncles and was creating a milder effect in the story you are going to read, but it definitely took its toll and the illnesses and early deaths were proof of the consequences of the deadly diseases of addiction to alcohol and prescription drugs.

Since the movie industry began, stories such as this one always seem to get top billing in movie theaters. They are typically best sellers at the local bookstore. Of course they are! They are sensational and usually pretty close to home. We all like to think that we can pull ourselves out of a sinkhole of addiction, and end up on a mountaintop. And ... we can, but it takes and takes, and it is not easy to leave the Rags of addiction to find the Riches in our nirvana.

Living in the throes of addiction and the Emotional Rags that go with it can cause us to experience a great deal of fear, but many times we don't recognize the fear enough to pull ourselves out of it. That is unless we hit such a low bottom that there is nowhere else to go except to die. If we choose not to die, we have a fighting chance to dig out.

How do we magically transform our Emotional Rags into Spiritual Riches? And what it this thing we are talking about called Emotional Rags?

Emotional Rags are all the many things in life that we go through on a day to day basis even without the cravings for drink. They are the Rags of what we think are the fears of loss, the fears of being defeated, lied to, abandoned and so on. When we are in addiction the fears and abandonment issues are ten times greater. Addiction is a huge emotional rag that tries to find a way out with a liquid that leaves us numb and totally unaccountable for actions that we place on others who are usually our care-takers. Who needs to change a baby's diaper after they are potty trained? Who needs to monitor an alcoholic who is irresponsible, unfaithful, and not able to keep a life together for themselves or the family and friends they are constantly affecting.

We all have Rags in our lives but the alcoholic does not want to know about the Rags, will not address the Rags, and buries his head in the sand with lies and delusional thinking. It is never their fault for anything and whether they are a happy or a mean drunk, this is the same message they carry. They are not responsible but their life and their jobs, and their health and ... and ... and ... are what are making them drink. There is no fixing the Rags of addiction until the addicted one is ready to go the road to recovery.

Save your breath, you have no power over the alcoholic. The more you pull them out of their problems, the longer it takes them to hit a bottom so they can feel their needed fall. A fall that hurts so much, they are finally ready to surrender and listen. They are ready to do whatever it takes to never ever pick up a drink or a drug again.

Enabling an alcoholic can ruin the lives of those trying so desperately to save them. The drink or drug will always win over the one trying to help. And when there is no one around, they can find their drug of choice quickly and efficiently and will be drunk or drugged quickly without remorse. That is, until the hangover kicks in and they need more. Until they have had enough, they will not stop and do not want to stop no matter what they may tell you. This is a cunning and powerful disease of the body, mind and spirit.

There are two people that we find we are talking to. One is the drunk. The other is the drunk that will tell us anything to get that drink or drug. They will also be very convincing that they do not have a problem but you do, if they cannot get what they want.

Until they surrender there is no helping them. However, once a true surrender out of desperation happens, is when they are ready to address the disease and then they can finally be supported and loved. But this is a different kind of love. This is a love of support. This is a love of standing next to them and encouraging them to change one thing. Everything. This is the time when they will finally see you and know you as being a support person in their court. But not until they are ready.

The Rags are to teach us a better way of thinking, feeling and doing so that we can experience our Riches. The Riches are the times when we are finally content even for a moment. The Riches are the times we breathe easier and know that we are safe, guided, and loved with extravagance and that we always have been and always will be.

When experiencing the Rags, any kind of Emotional Rag, we as humans seem to create stories based on our past and future fears ... along with feelings of deficiencies. As a result, we become hesitant to move forward in our lives. We become frustrated, and many times feel hopeless and "wanting." Wanting what? We don't know.

A good success story about "Rags to Riches" is often glorified at the movies, but when we sit at home and are alone pondering dilemmas, we face that clear-cut reality of not knowing how to get out of the Rags of our daily lives. We want the success of those Riches but are we really willing to take the leap and "let" it happen?

The leap, when finally done, is an obvious life change. The Riches we had been seeking are like a lion ready to jump out of a cage to return to freedom. With time and changes in thinking, money, relationships, and professions that we have secretly stuffed in our desire bag, start showing signs of coming true. It does take diligence and a steady walk without looking back and omitting the temptation to look forward but we will see and feel a deep change in purpose. These dilemmas that we felt in the Rags of our life, we come to realize were ego driven from an ego that chattered away not at our opportunities but focused on all of our adversities along the way, keeping us fearful to admit need for change and then move forward to do the change. With the unhealthy ego hard at work, we tend to hear a very commanding voice telling us that we are not worthy and that it cannot be done. But is this also our own way of staying lazy with a recovery mode? Are we talking ourselves out of our own good so that we can stay mired in our own addictive ways of thinking? Why would we let anything, including ourselves, or our lives as they are, not change?

The answer found for most of us is that we have started and stopped so many times in an effort to change our way of living that we are afraid. We are afraid that we cannot do this change of thinking. And for the first time in a long time, we are absolutely right. We cannot do this by ourselves. It will take surrender to something much...