LIVE A LIFE WITH MARGINS

A MARGIN IS THE PORTION OF THE PAGE THAT YOU intentionally leave blank. You will notice on this page that the printers didn't put text all the way from the left side of the page to the right side. Rather, they left space all the way around—those are margins.

Yet in life, everything in our culture is telling us to ignore margins. Spend more money than you make, and you will have no financial margin. Fill your schedule from early morning until late night, and you will have no time margin. Surround yourself with needy people and constantly be reactive to their expectations, and you will have no emotional margin.

Mark Batterson wrote, "You need margin to think. You need margin to play. You need margin to laugh. You need margin to dream. You need margin to have impromptu conversations. You need margin to seize unanticipated opportunities."

I want to live a life with margins.

When I live on less than I make, I have the financial margin so an unexpected expense won't capsize me, and so I can respond in the moment to someone else's real need.

When every moment of my life is scheduled, I don't have the margin to stop and listen to someone who needs an ear; I don't have the time to jump in and help a neighbor fix his sprinkler; I don't have the flexibility to go to one of my kids' sporting events that was scheduled at the last minute.

Margin makes you pleasant; no margin makes you grumpy.

Margin allows you to be generous; no margin makes you Scrooge-like.

Margin helps you listen. Without margin, you come across as someone who doesn't care.

Margin gives you the space to learn, grow, and dream. Without margin you become stale and empty.

Most important, margin increases the chance you will hear the still, small voice of God when he speaks. Without margin, you might continue through life without the blessing of God.

And yet I think it is safe to say that most leaders in America live without margin. We don't want to live that way, but we find ourselves constantly trying to catch our breaths.

Here are some practical ideas on how to create margin:

• Carve time into your week for margin. I liked to stack all my meetings on two days each week, which gave me margin to be responsive on the other days.

• Live on 80 percent of your income. Set aside another 10 percent for regular designated giving (church, charity, and more). Put the final 10 percent in a separate account to respond to whatever God might prompt your heart toward.

• Know yourself. What drains you emotionally? What fills your emotional tank? Be sure to schedule time to refill your tank with activities that add life to you. (More on this in chapter 4.)

• Minimize the number of life-sucking people around you. It's okay to have some relationships where you give 200 percent and they give nothing, but if all your relationships are like that, you'll die a slow, lonely death.

• Every now and then turn off the noise. You can't hear from God if you are constantly listening to the beep of the newest e-mail, the vibration of the latest text, the alert from your Twitter feed, or the chirp of a new Facebook notification. Schedule an electronic detox on occasion, and take time to listen to God, others, and yourself. This is so crucial I'm devoting chapter 3 to it.

THINK ABOUT IT

1. Where are you feeling the lack of margin in your life?

2. If you made just one change to increase margin in your life, what would that be?

WHEREVER YOU ARE, BE FULLY THERE

TEENS GET A LOT OF GRIEF ABOUT HOW MUCH TIME THEY spend on their phones. I hear adults say, "They never put their phones down!" or "He is texting nonstop!" or "I bet she couldn't live a day without her phone." But in truth, teens do what teens see. And I see adults every day who belittle others because of the bad phone habits that they, too, model.

One day a couple of years ago I got up before daylight and spent hours traveling by plane to go across the country for the sole purpose of a one-hour meeting with some leaders for whom I have huge respect. I had looked forward to this meeting for weeks, waiting to hear their stories and grateful for the opportunity to share what God was doing through our partnership.

During the meeting, there were several points at which each of those leaders picked up his phone to read or type. At the same time, they glanced up at me on occasion as I was talking, said, "Uh-huh," then continued to "thumble" with their phones. I don't think I'd be exaggerating to say it was a rare moment in that one-hour meeting when one of them wasn't looking at or typing on his phone. I'm not a touchy-feely type of guy, but on that day I felt devalued. I felt as if there was something they would rather be doing, but they just didn't have the guts to tell me that this meeting was not a priority. I walked away from that meeting determined never to do that to anyone.

Here are a few "fully there" habits I appreciate in others and try to put in to practice myself:

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