For the only son of the famous preacher and author Norman Vincent Peale, life was not without its challenges. In this memoir, John S. Peale shares his story, one of love, tension, and resentment. Life in the shadow of a famous father became a long and heartfelt struggle to become his own man. Despite the difficulties he faced, he found a way to thrive and make his own way. After a long and distinguished career as a professor of philosophy, he became a scholar of religion in China. He was actively involved in church and community. His has been a successful road, but it wasn't always an easy one. Tensions between the famous father and his son created darkness and despair. While the two loved each other, their relationship was strained at best. Due to John's strength of character and willful endurance, he was able to move beyond a sense of unworthiness to embrace that he is, indeed, a talented and giving man. Now in his seventies, John, with his warm and positive smile, emulates Confucius: "At seventy, I could give my heart and mind free rein without overstepping the mark" Although the story of a famous parent causing resentment and isolation from a son or daughter is not unfamiliar, John seeks to inspire others in similar situations to have hope and faith in their own abilities and identity.

Just How Far from the Apple Tree?

A Son in Relation to His Famous FatherBy John S. Peale

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2012 John S. Peale
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4759-2622-4

Contents

Preface.......................................................................................ixAcknowledgments...............................................................................xiIntroduction..................................................................................xiiiAuthor's Note.................................................................................xviiBecoming......................................................................................1Chapter 1. Becoming in Loving and Being Loved.................................................5Chapter 2. Becoming in Excitement about Life..................................................9Chapter 3. Becoming in Inspiration and Illumination in My Religious Faith.....................15Chapter 4. Becoming in Sentimentality.........................................................19Chapter 5. Becoming in My Enthusiasm for Sports...............................................23Chapter 6. Becoming in Finding My Own Way.....................................................31Interlude 1: Two Efforts to Bridge the Gap between Me and My Dad..............................39Chapter 7. Becoming in High School, College, and Graduate Studies.............................47Chapter 8. Becoming at Union Theological Seminary; Trouble for Dad............................57Chapter 9. Becoming in My Studies and My Life as a Professor..................................63Chapter 10. Becoming in My Teaching Career....................................................71Chapter 11. Becoming in My Travels............................................................79Chapter 12. Becoming in My Discovery of China.................................................85Chapter 13. Becoming in the Continued Quest for Knowledge and Insight.........................91Interlude 2: What Is the Power of Positive Thinking?..........................................95Chapter 14. Becoming in Marriage and Family...................................................105Chapter 15. Becoming in My Church Life........................................................111Chapter 16. Becoming in Living with Serious Health Problems...................................115Chapter 17. Becoming in My Descent into Darkness..............................................121Interlude 3: Suffering at an Important Anniversary of My Dad..................................131Chapter 18. Becoming in Despair and Alcoholism................................................133Chapter 19. Becoming in Recovery and Counseling...............................................139Chapter 20. Becoming in My Pride for My Accomplishments.......................................157Chapter 21. Being Me..........................................................................163Epilogue......................................................................................175Index.........................................................................................179

Chapter One

Becoming in Loving and Being Loved

In my life, I have enjoyed the good fortune of loving my dad and having been loved by him from boyhood days through to his death on December 24, 1993, at the age of ninety-five. I have loved both my parents similarly. This constant love has enabled me to have personal development in my life, an important mode of my becoming. My dad and mother loved me and my two sisters, Maggie and Eliz. Under the influence of such a loving beginning in life, we three children, now grandparents, have had the blessing of becoming so loving and so personally close all our lives.

Parental love, as I remember it, was more often shown rather than told. It was more clearly shown to me and my sisters when my parents weren't so busy, especially when they could take us on trips with them. They were busily occupied much of the time. During the late 1930s and 1940s, our dad was engaged in an extensive schedule of speaking engagements around the country, establishing a ministry to business and professional groups. Also, he started writing such books as The Art of Living and A Guide to Confident Living. He was making for himself a widening sphere of influence and a growing reputation. His reputation would soar even higher after the publication of The Power of Positive Thinking in 1952. We three kids were born during the 1930s and early 1940s—Maggie in 1933, me in 1936, and Eliz in 1942. His message to his speaking and reading audiences was resonating with increasing intensity, especially in and soon after World War II. During these years in our family, there was love and caring, but not so much attention from our extremely busy dad, who was becoming famous and in demand.

In the 1940s, there were two places our family traveled to in the summers when Dad was on his annual three-month vacation from the Marble Collegiate Church in New York City. We went to the Mountain View House in Whitefield, New Hampshire, and the Mohonk Mountain House on a ridge above New Paltz, New York. We would do things as a family, and our parents were with us, having fun and loving times together. Mother and Dad would play games with us inside on the chess or checkers boards, or in the room with a pool table, or in the dining room while having dinners together. They often tolerated and even enjoyed the pranks we kids played on each other, like the time Maggie filled my glass with buttermilk, which I hated, and then challenged me to a milk-drinking contest. There was also the time when I, like a gentleman, pulled out the dining room chair for her to be seated. When she started to sit, I first drew the chair in and then pulled it out quickly so that she ended up on the floor!

I remember many fun and memorable summers and other vacation times at Quaker Hill, a community above Pawling, New York, where we had a second home. My parents bought the eighteen-acre property back in the winter of 1944. Dad named this place Sugar Tree Farm, after a location of a church in southern Ohio, near where his father served his first pastorate in a Methodist church a long time ago. At Quaker Hill, my two sisters and I had a happy life with Mother and Dad. We had lots of relaxed and downtime with our parents. I remember picking peaches from the orchard and making homemade ice cream, and picking fresh strawberries for breakfast from the garden.

It was at the Quaker Hill Country Club—the "Barn" as it was affectionately known—where we played golf and tennis, had square dances, put on funny skits, and had interesting programs. One memorable program, for example, was that given by Lowell Thomas of "so-long-until-tomorrow" fame. There he talked about his time with T. E. Lawrence or "Lawrence of Arabia," showing us artifacts he had brought back from the Middle East. Lawrence has been of interest to me ever since. Even recently, I have been doing extensive reading about his life and his work, Seven Pillars of Wisdom.

At home, we had memorable, active family dinners where we talked and kidded around. While there on one of Dad's birthdays, I gave him a card with a swashbuckling figure on the front. It read: "Here is a 24 cents birthday card." On the inside, it said: "I give no quarter on an occasion such as this." Dad loved it and laughed heartily. My sisters and I remember all of these kinds of times with fondness and pleasure. The happy and memorable experiences in...