"Robert Cornell has written a wise and practical book for our times. A book that beautifully integrates psychological health and well-being with a genuine spiritual path." Roshi Robert Joshin Althouse , Zen Life & Meditation Center, Chicago "This is a book that bears witness to a life-long journey of intense self-understanding and is an exquisite exploration of the oft-heard spiritual injunction to "let go." I say intense and exquisite, because you will be stunned by the subtle layers of the human psyche that Robert has beautifully un-packed and articulated in a way that will give every authentic pilgrim of the human experience some new territory to ponder and explore." John Dephouse, Associate Priest, All Saints Episcopal Church, Pasadena, CA
Fifty Ways of Letting Go
Shadow Work for Spiritual Practitioners
By Robert Kando CornellBalboa Press
Copyright © 2017 Robert B. Cornell
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-5043-7357-9Contents
Acknowledgments, xiii,
Introduction, xv,
Why Did I Write This Book?, xv,
What is Letting Go?, xvii,
Seeing with Contemplative Eyes, xix,
The Interweaving of Psychology and Spirituality, xx,
How to Work with Ourselves, xxv,
How To Best Use this Book, xxxi,
Letting in Love,
Chapter 1: Falling into the Arms of God, 1,
Chapter 2: Opening to Love, 7,
Chapter 3: Developing Basic Trust, 15,
Chapter 4: Being with Our Vulnerability, 22,
Chapter 5: Letting go of Self Judgment, 32,
Chapter 6: Letting Go of Self Doubt, 40,
Chapter 7: Letting Go of Guilt, 45,
Chapter 8: Letting Go of Shame, 51,
Chapter 9: Letting Go of Fear, 56,
Chapter 10: Accepting and Loving Ourselves Just as We Are, 65,
Growing Up,
Chapter 11: Being Willing to Pay the Price, 73,
Chapter 12: Healing & Letting Go of Childhood, 79,
Chapter 13: Letting Go of Victimhood, 84,
Chapter 14: Letting Go of Grasping, 90,
Chapter 15: Letting Go of Aversion, 96,
Chapter 16: Going off Autopilot, 100,
Chapter 17: Letting Go of Security, 104,
Chapter 18: Letting Go of Judging Others, 108,
Chapter 19: Letting Go of Anger & Resentment, 113,
Chapter 20: Letting Go of Control, 120,
Chapter 21: Letting Things Be as They Are, 125,
Chapter 22: Letting Go of Our Personal Plans for Enlightenment, 130,
Loosening The Grip on Who We Think We Are,
Chapter 23: Letting Go of How We See The World, 137,
Chapter 24: Letting Go of "It's All About Me.", 143,
Chapter 25: Letting Go, Accepting Change, 149,
Chapter 26: Letting Go of Plan A., 154,
Chapter 27: Letting Go of Over Responsibility, 158,
Chapter 28: Letting Go of Efforting, 162,
Chapter 29: Letting Go of Being Right, 169,
Chapter 30: Letting Go of Over Seriousness, 175,
Chapter 31: Letting Go of People Pleasing, 180,
Chapter 32: Letting Go of Pride & Arrogance, 185,
Chapter 33: Letting Go of Being Small, 190,
Chapter 34: Letting Go of Over Identification with Mind, 195,
Letting Go of Worldly Things,
Chapter 35: Letting Go of The Fear of Being with Ourselves, 205,
Chapter 36: Letting Go of The Trance of Culture, 211,
Chapter 37: Letting Go of the Need for Easy Solutions, 217,
Chapter 38: Letting Go of Spiritual Ambition, 223,
Chapter 39: Letting Go of Busyness, 228,
Chapter 40: Letting Go of Noise & Distraction, 236,
Challenging Practices,
Chapter 41: Loosening the Grip of Addiction & Compulsion, 243,
Chapter 42: Allowing Ourselves to Suffer, 248,
Chapter 43: Allowing Ourselves to be Broken Open, 254,
Chapter 44: Accepting Death in Our Lives, 259,
Chapter 45: Engaging the Horrific, 263,
Being of Service: the Ultimate Practice,
Chapter 46: Falling in Love with Everything, 269,
Chapter 47: Being Obedient to the Call, 273,
Chapter 48: Serving in Our Personal Relationships, 277,
Chapter 49: Serving in Our Community & Country, 282,
Chapter 50: Serving in Our Religious & Spiritual Communities, 287,
Final Thoughts, 293,
CHAPTER 1
Falling into the Arms of God
The great Chan master of the Song dynasty, Da-hui Zong-gao said, "Just let go and make your heart empty and open.
translation by Dana Dunlap
Autumn
The leaves fall, fall from afar
as if faded from heaven's gardens
they fall with negating gesture.
And in the night falls the earth
away from all the stars in its loneliness.
We are all falling. This hand here falls
And look at the other one. It's in all of them.
And yet there is one who holds this falling
in His unendingly gentle hands.
Rainer Maria Rilke, translation by Robert Cornell
Introduction
This book is basically many variations on one central theme: how to let go and fall into the arms of God. Or, to put it in Buddhist terms, letting go of the small self and realizing our Buddha Nature. The greatest challenge in life for us all as the imperfect human beings that we are, is to be able to let go of our fears and self centered desires, our limiting stories about ourselves and the world around us and to open up to a bigger picture of what Life is about besides me, mine, and myself. The individuals that we, as a healthy culture, most revere are the ones who were able to transcend their personal situations, identify themselves with humanity and to give themselves to a purpose that framed their lives of service and undergirded their inspirational leadership.
In order to expand our sense of who we are and what our calling is beyond our limited sense of ourselves, we need to let go of many things that do not serve us or our world. A deep faith in God or some other transcendent entity such as what Buddhists call the True Self or Buddha Nature or the Twelve Step traditions speak of as our Higher Power can support us in moving beyond our character defects, our psychological complexes and our all too human limitations. These religious and spiritual concepts and the sacred texts, writings, rituals, traditions and cultures that they are embedded in become, for those of us who commit to a particular faith journey, the wind in our sails, the safe ship that conveys us to our ultimate destination; the other shore, the Kingdom within.
The image of letting go and falling into the arms of God can elicit some fear in us as to whether or not there is Someone or Something there to catch us when we do let go. After all, fear of falling is one of the basic instinctual fears we humans have! And falling is a great metaphor for the challenges that are part of spiritual practice: to let go into the unknown, let go of our need for too much control, too much self protection and to move way beyond our comfort zone. For our ego, this letting go can feel as if we are going to fall into a bottomless abyss of darkness.
This is why the spiritual journey requires us to develop an ever growing and deepening faith in order to make possible this inner movement of letting go of our fears and allowing ourselves to be held by Something Greater than our little egoic consciousness. This faith journey that we are on is one where we regularly remind ourselves through meditation, prayer and ritual of our being held by/within the Beloved, the Tao, Divine Spirit, Buddha Nature. As the imperfect, conditioned human beings that we are, we need these ways of worshipping and practicing to grow and strengthen our connection with and trust in the Beloved.
Many years ago, my Zen teacher talked to us his students about throwing ourselves into the House of the Buddha. Several times a year we would renew our vows at the Zen Center as both lay members and monks. We would recite as we bowed, "Namo Buddha, Namo Dharma, Namo Sangha." I take refuge in the Buddha, I take refuge in the teachings, and I take refuge in the practice community. Every religious tradition reminds us that we have to give over our self centered ways, because our self centeredness is exactly the cause of our own suffering- and the suffering of mankind in general.
Personally, I like the image of falling back into my Big Self – my deep and true Self that has let go of fear, of self judgment and is playful and relaxed. Sometimes I picture myself...
