CHAPTER 1
Forgiveness and how it healed My Life
I'm sure most if not all of you can relate to the feeling that you have been hurt; that someone said or did something that really hurt you. Or that something happened in the world as you see it that makes you feel hurt, depressed. Can we overcome these hurt feelings? The depression? The bitterness? The anxiousness? Yes! An emphatic Yes!
Bitterness manifested itself in several ways for me; toward myself for not seeing or accepting the truth of the situation earlier, toward my spouse, toward the loss of the future I thought we would have together.
Once the divorce was in the past a few months, the bitterness eased up a lot. I began to see forgiveness as a subject in books and articles. One book that has profoundly impacted many others as well as myself is A Course in Miracles. A Course of Miracles has as a main theme the subject of Forgiveness.
Think of the many ways we live life in a fear state. From a society perspective, armies, weapons, etc. are all created out of the fear we may be attacked, or that an ally will be attacked. Fear also comes from those who put their will ahead of ours. These 'extreme' groups are in themselves acting out of fear.
We move quickly in many modes of transportation, some like f lying or even driving causing fear. We also often easily slip into a 'what will happen next?" This can and often does become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
At a more personal level fear may emanate about our day-to-day life. Fear of loss or impact to: Home, Property, work/career, relationships, friends, our health, the health of our family and friends ... even the weather.
Besides all the stress that comes about with these fears, and a lot of stress that is for everyone there is an important revelation I need to share:
The sub-conscious mind interprets requests/thoughts literally. If you are afraid something 'bad' might happen. Then the mind sees 'something' and gets it for you! The sub-conscious mind does not interpret good/bad or I want versus I don't want. This is another way of saying we create our own worldview.
As Albert Einstein stated "There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle. I choose to see life on this magnificent earth as a miracle!
Let us all strive to seek joy, happiness, and love! Forgiveness is a good place to start!
To truly let go of the past, to let go of hard feelings you have for another person or especially yourself is so freeing, so healing. It is so important to see life as happening through us, not to us! Realize we are all doing the best that we can at each moment with what we know and understand. To do this, to forgive, is so heart opening. It is a journey. Do the best that you can. Forgive yourself, forgive others and begin to see the world anew!
Much of the drama of the world revolves around hanging on to the past, past hurts, past grudges; this is certainly true for me. It was, however, the bitterness (acting as a catalyst) that finally got me moving. Finally allowing blessed change to occur!
Certainly most of the conflicts of the world, past or present, revolve around one group feeling another has done them wrong. Or that they have been judged for their beliefs, color, traditions, or customs, or been kicked off of 'their' land. Control of land and its resources is just one avenue for human conflict. Certainly there has and still is much prejudice in the world. To move beyond this we must forgive it. Forgive the past and all the actions and events. It is primarily when we bring up the past that we suffer it again and again. Certainly this is an upside down thought cycle. These thought cycles if you will are almost a torrent at times. We will look at this later. Know that the past is done and cannot touch us. The past cannot be changed, however you may look upon it with love and forgiveness and cherish the happy and loving times. These happy, joyful times are what are remembered in heaven. In fact that is all that is remembered! Grateful I am and with joy for our beloved creator!
Learning to accept change is an important lesson in life. So often life brings greater joy and peace as we let go of the past, even the present moment. Life is a journey; accepting change instead of resisting it is a path to growth and a more relaxing stress-free life. This acceptance can be applied to any part of life; at home; at work; family time; vacation; anytime!
There is a useful and simple tool that can help with forgiveness. The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)! EFT helps simply by removing the emotional sting of any past event/trauma from the event itself. You still remember it. It just no longer has the cringing sting of hurt feelings, guilt, sadness, loss, shock, etc. ... This is achieved with only a few minutes to an hour or so for most people. It utilizes tapping on acupuncture points while reciting simple phrases to acknowledge the hurt/pain/fear. Followed by positive statements ... There are many books on this topic. I would start with The Tapping Solution (2013) by Nick Ortner ... There are also recorded tapping phrases, with links in the book. Please get the book so that you understand the process and optional tapping patterns. I have used EFT to great success with emotional issues both with my ex-wife and an ex-girlfriend, and my own issues such as doubt, fear of expressing myself, etc. Once the emotional 'sting' is gone, it becomes much easier to forgive, to let it go. Much easier to look on the past with gratitude, love and compassion ...
God, Source, The Universe (whatever term you are comfortable) Loves us all unconditionally all day, every day.
Let us consider the term All. Sometimes the ego is so likely to state: Healing might be fine for others, but not you! God may love everyone, but not you! This may work for some, but not you. The ego is more likely to pit each of us against the world. Funny how the ego can make each of us the exception to any belief that we are all from source, all from love, that well being f lows to all of us! A Course in Miracles (ACIM)5 states the ego state varies from cautious to vicious ... From my life experience I know it to be true! I believe it!
From ACIM Lesson 134, let me perceive forgiveness as it is. I include a short excerpt of this lesson for the book. You can read it in its entirety online at www.acim.org
Paragraph 6. "It is sin's unreality that makes forgiveness natural and wholly sane, a deep relief to those who offer it, a quiet blessing where it is received. It does not countenance illusions, but collects them lightly, with a little laugh, and gently lays them at the feet of truth. And there they disappear...
