SORRY, HONEY, I HAVE TO GO

Riley aimed his Winchester and then slowly squeezed the trigger. A deafening shot rang out, bullet hitting the target. The tall jackrabbit fell out of sight, flushing out three more rabbits. A second shot took down a smaller one. Ruth slowly unplugged her fingers from her ears. The acrid smell of gun smoke invaded Ruth's nose. With one hand, she held the reins of Sadie, her nervous, gun-shy horse; and with the other hand, she covered her nose as she sneezed. Ruth still had her eyes tightly shut, not wanting to watch and trying not to cry. She was glad for the meat, but the tears were because all hope of going with Riley deer hunting died with those two jackrabbits; whereas Riley could leave, knowing Ruth had some food to last for a while.

Riley ran through the tall grass and fetched the fresh game.

"Looky here, dartin'," he said with a big grin on his face as he held up the rabbits for her to admire. He halfway hopped and ran with excitement as he carried his prize to their sod house. Slowly, she opened her eyes to a squint. Showing no enthusiasm, she followed him to examine the fresh meat that would be part of her supper. Sadie stopped nibbling on the Johnson grass and followed her to the dugout.

Riley smiled a toothy grin at his new wife and handed her the fresh game. She took the rabbits but didn't return his smile as she handed him the reins of her Morgan horse. Riley wiped his hands on some tall grass and then turned to stroke Sadie to calm her. The horse avoided his touch by moving a few steps and gave Ruth a reluctant look. Riley missed their exchange as he busied himself finishing his preparation for the hunting trip. He bent over to cinch the saddle strap as he spoke.

"This here game ought to feed ya for a day or two 'til I get back with some deer or buffalo."

"Oh please, Riley, take me with you. I can hunt too," Ruth whined. This was the umpteenth time she tried to get her way.

Riley looked Ruth straight in the eye, and his jolly demeanor changed to sober.

"Darlin', I'll tell you one more time. Be reasonable about this. We only have one horse and one rifle. You don't have the clothes to go huntin', and there's a whole slew of other reasons why it'd be better for you to stay here. You got those rabbits to eat on until I can get us some real big game. Ruthy, you'll be just fine."

"But how long will you be gone? I'm scared here without you. I'll miss you. What in the world will I do? We run out of food. It's too far into town for me to walk for supplies. You're taking the horse and leaving me the wagon. Oh, I wish I was home or at least not so far away from everybody!" She tried to win him over by looking as pathetic as possible.

"Ruth, don't start on me again, about wantin' to leave and go home. I thought we settled all that last night. You kissed me and told me you loved me and would never leave me. Did you mean it, darlin'? I got to know that you'll be here when I get back. You knew when you run off with me that you would be leaving your ma and all your kin behind. Ain't I enough for ya?"

"Yes. I'm just talking crazy. I'm just worried." Her pout was not working to change his mind to see her way of thinking.

"Well, don't worry. I promise I'll come back."

"Riley, remember that we need more than just meat. You got my list with you?"

He pulled out the paper from his pocket, unfolded it, and read her the list she'd made for him.

"I've got here some flour, lard, coffee, fatback, a few layin' hens and feed, some oats for the horse, some yarn, and needles. I've got to get some meat to trade off so I can pay for what we need. Don't you realize I've got to go, and the sooner I leave, the sooner I'll be right back here lookin' after ya. You got to face up to the fact we're grown-up people now, and sometimes we've got to do hard thangs." Still holding the rabbits, Ruth wiped the tears from her eyes with her free hand.

"Sweet Ruth, stop cryin and come give me a kiss before I go. Can I have a little smile from you also so I can take that with me to think on while I ride out?"

"But, Riley ... Oh, all right, you make me want to be generous whenever you talk to me that way." She walked over and kissed him and held on until he pulled away.

"I don't see no smilin' on them lips I just kissed." She gave him a faint smile.

"That's my girl. You're my best girl ever and my only girl from now on. I'll come home with a big deer or maybe a buffalo, if there's any still left roamin' around. When I get back with the meat, you'll be so doggone busy cleanin', butcherin', and cookin' you'll wish you had some time alone just for yourself. You've got the pistol and the extra bullets. I'm sure ya won't have any need to use it. I'm leaving it for your own safety. Don't go out to greet nobody if they happen this way unless the Lord leads ya to do so. You ain't alone. He's keepin watch over ya. Ruth, believe me, don't ya?"

"I do. Oh, I'm acting like such a big baby. You go be that big hunter, and I'll stay behind keeping the home fire burning and that fire in my heart burning for you too. Get out of here, now." Her tough act quickly caved.

"Sweetheart, you will be sure to be careful, won't you? You promise me right now, Riley Earl, to come back to me, and don't be long doing it. You hear me?"

He tipped his hat to his lady and mounted the horse in one movement.

"So help me God, I love you, and I promise you right here and now that I'll come back to you and love ya the rest of my life." He looked up into the sky and then down into the teary eyes of his wife. He whispered so she wouldn't hear, "The Lord willing"

Ruth sighed in defeat, looked at Sadie's sad eyes, and then to both of them waved goodbye.

The southwest wind blew her hair out of its tight bun. Unaffected, she let her loose hair blow freely. She watched and waved until she couldn't see them anymore. That wind was so strong it finally broke the spell that had paralyzed her. Ruth turned away and reluctantly stepped inside the dugout. By now, Riley and Sadie were far out of sight, so she decided to focus on other duties instead of looking at an empty horizon. Hot tears ran through the silty red dust on her cheeks. Her lips had a salty grit when she licked them, and it collected on her tongue, forming a lump in her throat. Ruth's whole body felt miserable and totally alone, but then she remembered her husband's parting words.

"Lord Jesus, it's just you and me now. This must have been how you felt whenever you walked into the wilderness alone. I need your protection and your help. Please take care of Riley and let him have a successful hunt. You know how much we need some food. And please watch over Sadie. We need her more than ever. Thank you for the rabbits." She paused for what seemed...