Bobby Fowler is the first and only out gay kid at Dunston High School. Unathletic and small for his age, Bobby was orphaned soon after moving from New England to Dunston, a ranching town in central Texas, just before freshman year. Deeply scarred from a near-fatal beating during sophomore year, Bobby finds solace in his drums, composing music, and his two closest friends. Only two types of students go to Dunston High School, according to his soul mate, Chloe: football players, and those who adore them. And Bobby, along with every girl in school and every woman in town, for that matter, adores one football player in particular. Kyle Faulkner, the star quarterback, has it all, and not just because his heroics brought home a state championship to his football-crazed town. With stunning good looks, a muscular physique, a dazzling Hollywood smile and a winning personality, it's no surprise that Kyle is a god in school. Kyle, along with everyone else, thinks of himself as the ultimate straight boy, the guy every girl wants to date. But Kyle has secret that he can't even admit to himself. He never asks himself why he sneaks peeks at the Gay Kid or why he dreams of wrapping his arms around him. But just a few weeks before graduation, Kyle finds out why during an unexpected and violent encounter with Bobby. It is an encounter which causes Kyle to admit the unthinkable. And unless Bobby can convince him there is a way out of the trap he thinks he's in, their encounter will lead to a terrifying climax that could cost both boys their lives.

And It Was Full of Light!

Finding the courage to overcome homophobic bullying and hateBy Robert W. Littlefield

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2010 Robert W. Littlefield
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4520-5492-6

Chapter One

Three years earlier

The mall food court is jam-packed and loudly buzzing with the usual Saturday afternoon swarm of shoppers. I can't even begin to steady my nerves as I hastily scan the tables for Danny and Chloe. I'm so nervous my tummy's doing flip-flops. That's when I get a whiff of the familiar, irresistible aromas coming from Peruvian Chicken, all the excuse I need for a food detour.

Just at that moment, a somewhat plump, dark-skinned girl with a bright red headband accenting a gigantic mop of frizzy black hair bounces up in the far corner, waving wildly and shouting my name. Of course it's Chloe, who else? Oh, and there's Danny slouched in his seat, hand over his eyes, trying to be inconspicuous as Chloe carries on with one of her milder public spectacles.

I laugh, but it's a half-hearted attempt to appear calm as I squeeze past crowded tables to reach them.

Wrappers and half-empty cups of soda litter the table.

"Gee, thanks so much for waiting," I tell my friends.

"Sorry, we were starving," Danny mumbles. "Go get something to eat, go!"

"Hey, are you okay?" Chloe asks. "You look kind of nervous."

"I'm fine." She's giving me a squinty look. "Really, I'm fine. I'll be right back."

Standing in line at Peruvian Chicken, waving with a forced smile at my friends, I admit to myself I'm not fine, I'm just plain scared. Will they make a big scene? Will they still be my friends? Please God, I pray, please let this goes okay.

Pacing near the counter and anxious for my number to be called, I don't even remember ordering. I hope it's roast chicken and fried sweet potato.

"Ciento diez, ciento diez, number one hundred ten."

This is it!

"You guys want some fried sweet potato?"

"Not me," Chloe says, finishing the last of her drink with a raspy burble through her straw. "So are you going to tell us the big mystery?"

I'm hesitating and she continues.

"When you called, you said meet us at the mall and it's important, then you wouldn't tell us why. Come on, let's hear it." That's Chloe: insistent, impatient, right to the point. She's always full of laughs and so outrageous sometimes I think that girl is demented. On the other hand, she doesn't let me get away with anything.

"Hey, I'm glad you guys made it. Did you do some shopping?" As Danny and Chloe impassively wait me out, I catch myself drumming my fingers on the tray with rapid, loud thumps. I self-consciously put my hands in my lap.

Chloe's patience runs out. "Will you please tell us what's going on? We're your friends, right?"

"Absolutely. You guys are my best friends."

Chloe studies me with a squishy-nose look. "Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"No, I'm not in trouble," I tell her, "I'm just a little scared right now."

"Scared? What do you mean, scared?"

"I'm scared of you. And you too, Danny."

My best friends exchange a puzzled glance.

"I don't get it. Why are we scaring you?" Danny asks.

"You're not. I'm just scared of how you'll react when I tell you something." I haven't taken one bite of my food. My mouth is dry and when I pick up my Coke, my hand is actually shaking enough to make the ice tinkle. Chloe gives me a strange look.

"Jeez, would you just relax?"

"Yeah, man, whatever it is you're trying to tell us, just spit it out," Danny says, raising his voice and throwing his hands in the air. That's typical Danny.

"Sorry, this is really hard, but I've got to tell someone. It's why I asked you guys to meet me here." My heart is thumping so hard it's scary. I swallow hard. Here goes—

"Is it a huge problem for you guys if you're eating with a gay boy?"

Nothing. No shocked looks, no big scene, no storming out of the food court, just complete silence—and Chloe's raised eyebrows. Fearing the worst, I wait them out.

"You're really gay?" she finally asks at her usual bullhorn volume.

I'm sinking lower in my seat. "Yeah, I'm really gay."

While she thinks this over, Danny, on the other hand, isn't reacting except for that easy-to-miss smirk he gets when someone says something totally stupid or really obvious.

"Excuse me, what did you just say?" It's one of three older girls at the next table. I don't know them all that well, only that they're going to be seniors.

"I said I'm gay."

"You mean, like, for real?" the one nearest me says.

"Say, aren't you Bobby Fowler?" another asks.

"Yeah, I'm gay, for real."

"This is a joke, right?"

"He said he's gay, got it?" Chloe snaps. "Now do you mind if we talk?"

"It's okay, Chloe. Look, it's not a joke. I'm gay."

Open-mouthed amazement is followed by whispering and giggling, which quickly becomes higher-pitched and more excited. My attention returns to my two friends. I still can't quite read Danny.

"Is this a total shock?" I ask him.

"Nah, I pretty much had it figured out," he replies with a smirk, "especially with some of the guys like Jason calling you a homo and stuff like that last year. I'm cool and it's no big deal, at least for me."

"It's no big deal?"

"Come on, man, just chill out," he says.

"I'm wicked surprised, but thanks." I turn my attention to Chloe. "Is this freaking you out?"

"No, not really, maybe a little surprised. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised, you know? There were times last year when I wondered about you. Like you'd see a humpy-looking boy walk by and you'd say, 'Oh, that guy is so athletic.'" She completes the imagery with a little wave of her hand, nothing more than a flick of her wrist. Chloe follows with a fit of giggling.

I giggle too, and at last take a deep breath. This time it really does ease some of the tension. I feel good. Everything is starting to feel good, like a colossal weight has been lifted off me.

"Like Danny said, it's no big deal," Chloe continues. "It will just take a little getting used to, that's all."

"Thanks, Chloe. Thanks, Danny. You guys are my very best friends, and I wanted you to be the first to know."

"You're my best friend too, and I'm glad you told us, but look," he says, nodding toward the front of the food court. "Those girls are leaving, and it's going to be all over town in the next six seconds. You're going be the first gay kid in the history of Dunston High School."

I'm twisting my paper napkin into a tight little spiral as Danny's comment sinks in. An instant stab of fear knots my stomach before I decide being gay can't be that big of a deal. Danny and Chloe were cool. And besides, it's who I am and I can't keep it inside any longer.

"I hope people leave me alone," I tell my friends. Relieved beyond words, I'm still so keyed up I can hardly eat. Ever since I was little, I've known I like boys, but spitting out "I'm gay" the first time sure was scary. "Hey, maybe I'll meet someone when I go back to school," I go on. "At least one hot boy will be gay and will ask me out. And I would just die if it's someone half as hot as Kyle Faulkner."

Chloe's head sinks into her hands. "Oh, this will take some getting used to," she moans.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to weird you out, but I don't want to go through high school and not meet someone. I want what you guys want, but for...