We all feel the pull, that innate knowing that we were put here on this earth for some important purpose greater than ourselves. But how can we realize that calling in a world that seems so utterly broken and in perpetual turmoil? How can one person make a difference? How do we help others, when overcoming our own personal problems seems so overwhelming? It is simply by rediscovering our connectedness through community participation that both our inner and outer worlds begin to transform. The Gifts of Community reveals the mutual path to personal and community development, a path that has been well hidden behind cultural messages of competition and self-preservation. By sharing your gifts with others, you are gifted with all that you have felt has been missing in your life. You grow as a person, realize your dreams, develop your talents, and meet your soul partners. And as you realize this potential and begin to think in the mindset of community, the world around you will change for the better as well. Community is a grand-scale gift exchange. As you give good to others, good comes back to you.
The Gifts of Community
Changing Your Life by Changing Your WorldBy Anne Marie DurhamBalboa Press
Copyright © 2012 Anne Marie Durham
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4525-6272-8Contents
Preface............................................................ixPart 1: Your Community Connection..................................1Chapter 1: The Gifts of Community..................................3Chapter 2: What the World Needs Now................................17Chapter 3: Community is Calling You................................31Part 2: Understanding Your Gifts...................................49Chapter 4: The Gift of Money.......................................51Chapter 5: The Gift of Time........................................63Chapter 6: The Gift of Voice.......................................75Chapter 7: The Gift of Prayer......................................99Part 3: Sharing Your Gifts.........................................113Chapter 8: Sharing Your Gifts in Groups............................115Chapter 9: Sharing Your Gifts in the Workplace.....................139Chapter 10: Sharing Your Gifts with Family.........................155Chapter 11: Sharing Your Gifts @ Online............................171Chapter 12: Sharing the Gift of You................................189Part 4: The Grand Scale Gift Exchange..............................203Chapter 13: Appreciating Your Gifts................................205Chapter 14: The Truth of Community.................................217About the Author...................................................221
Chapter One
The Gifts of Community
Because this book is about community, it is all about you.
You have never been and never can be separate from community. There is no mountain high enough, no sacred space holy enough, no cabin in the woods far away enough for you to escape this truth. You can never deny that you are community and that community is you.
You were born into community. You are part of a family living in a neighborhood, which is part of a city and state, which is part of a country in our shared world.
You were built by the experiences, lessons, and values of community. You are a walking, talking, breathing representation of community. And what you do and say, who you are – is constantly impacting others around you –changing them, reflecting your likeness.
Who taught you to say (or not say) the pledge of allegiance?
When did you learn that stealing is wrong?
When you have found success, how many countless others helped you get to that point?
Who do you turn to for advice in hard times?
You do not become who you are without the influence of your community. Community is tightly woven into our lives and there is no separating it from the human condition.
There has been great debate about the definition of "community". Sociologists had given community over 94 different definitions by the mid 1950s. Some believe that community simply describes a group of people living in close proximity within a similar geographic location. But that definition doesn't hold true in times where our personal actions can personally and immediately impact someone on the other side of the globe. Proximity and geography have little to do with community these days.
Some people consider community as a group of people who share a common self-interest or who work together for a common purpose. That is a very good technical definition, but it doesn't take into account the depth of the community experience.
It isn't easy to find the words to adequately describe the flow of fellowship and connection that makes community a state of being, rather than just a place or a group. You have to strip away all of our present cultural inferences of the word and go back to its Latin roots: "Comm" meaning "together" and "unis" meaning "gift".
To have community there must first be togetherness. People must come together for a shared reason or goal. But togetherness alone doesn't create community in its truest sense. Gangs come together. So do hate groups. And the result of their togetherness is not necessarily a positive for the larger community.
To achieve true community, there has to be a positive result for all – a "gift" that results from a healthy transaction of togetherness. A gift that enriches not just the well-being of the collective, but your personal mind, body and spirit.
Those gifts may be tangible. Our ancestors depended on community for survival. They hunted for food together, built shelters together and created tools that were shared. Today we see the impact of community in the goods that are produced by people who work together in factories and on farms, and in the homes, buildings and roads that are built for our common use. Every car, every dinner on the table, every million dollar mansion is the result of people working together successfully in community.
The gifts may be intangible. Your friends and family members provide words of encouragement that help you go after your dreams. You may be part of a musical group that brings you great joy. The attention of an important teacher may have pointed you in the direction of your life's work. Something you saw on the internet or read in a book may have changed your life path. Or maybe someone's joke just made you smile and helped to change a bad day into a good day.
Community is a grand scale gift exchange. As you give good to others, good comes back to you. And this goodness accelerates our collective growth and evolution as a human race. It is the natural order of the universe falling into place, propelling us to our ultimate destination of a whole and peaceful existence. Togetherness is our natural state of being, it is where we came from and where we are destined to return. Community is experiencing our place of creation and connectedness, where we exist seamlessly, at one with our Creator.
But we cannot fulfill our collective destiny and return to togetherness as long as we live in a culture that emphasizes separateness. We are constantly distracted from our mission on this earth, and we are inadvertently making choices that further divide us by disregarding the tremendous impact of community in our lives.
I grew up and still live in Huntington, West Virginia – a town of about 50,000 people near the border of Ohio and Kentucky, nestled in the Appalachian mountains. My high school was located in a residential neighborhood of family homes. Often, after school, our band would practice for the big Community Day Parade by marching up and down the neighborhood streets, our band director running alongside, shouting instructions for perfect lines. It may have been just a rehearsal, but it was also a big event for the neighborhood residents. Elderly people would shuffle out to their front porches and smile and wave. Parents would bring their children to the sidewalk and they would jump up and down and dance, or marvel at the big drums and the pretty majorettes. Cars would honk and wave in support.
And in between the moments of making sure I was marching on the right foot and keeping my clarinet directly straight in front of me, I fell head over heels in love with my community. The people on their porches, the cheering from the sidewalks and the affirmative horn honking made me - an awkward teenager unsure of herself and her place in the world - feel special and important. I held my head higher and paid closer attention to my steps and formation in reciprocity of their attention. My self-esteem was energized. Working together, our band was doing...
