How many times have you sat at your desk and wondered where you are going? Is this what I want to be doing one, three, five years from now? Do I feel that I am qualified for something more?

FIRE!

The new person in the office who just transferred from a smaller firm is difficult not to like. This person is always smiling and ready for work with loads of positive energy.

Now for some time, I have seen how I just go through the motions of my job. I have worked throughout my life to get the job I have, and now, I just feel flat. I was not a straight "A" student or star football player, but I am happy where I am and where I have come from. I see Holly around the office, she is around my same age, her drive is contagious, and I am dying to know what gives her that extra push! So, at a rare slow moment, I finally asked Holly if we could get together sometime? She said, "sure, how about the coffee shop down the street?"

We met at the coffee shop after work. When we finished the minor shoptalk, I finally asked her "what is your drive?" She asked, "what brought this question out?" So, I told her how I have watched her fly around the office with confidence and I wanted to know what her secret was for daily happy energy. With that, she looked kind of confused, so I continued. "I mean that I look at myself and think, we are about the same age and for some time now, I feel stale especially at work." I see you move, work and it kind of has me jealous to work harder but I need to know how are you able to do what you do. And why you do it. At that, she smiled and said this to me. "Dan I have been to a lot of places and worked most of my life. I am sure you would be surprised to know of my educational level and background. I have met and continue to meet some very influential people along the way in life and they told and continue to tell me things that seem to fit the puzzle of having a successful life." It was now my turn to look confused, so she explained more.

I have had several failed jobs and have been demoted to the point that I would have taken any entry-level position. At one point a boss pulled me in their office and said, "I am concerned about you Holly." And I said "why, has my work performance dropped off or is it my attitude?" He said, "no, I see potential in you. How many company functions have you been to since you have been with us?" I said only a couple, when I knew that I haven't been to any which I think he knew because he gave me this look but he continued saying, "what direction do you plan on going in life?" At that point, I was stuck, since I really did not have a clear picture or even a clue of any thought about future life goals, short-term and long term. So, I simply said "up." And to my surprise, he said right!" Next he asked, "how do you start a good fire?" I said sheepishly, "with matches paper and wood." He said, "of course," then he said something that opened my eyes wide. "Holly, why do you add green wood to your fires?" You see Holly, at this company we like dry wood in order for this company to blaze with opportunity and promises. You add a good burn but you are starting to smolder because you are just being content to be here, when deep down inside yourself, you know that you want something more, so much more. Don't you want my job, my position, and of course my pay? Then Holly, I suggest that you start hanging around other people that use dry wood for the company's sake and for your own growth. At that time, Holly looked at her watch and said that she had to take off and I asked if we could talk again. She said, "sure, how does three days from now sound?" I said, "fine, and this would give me time to think about our conversation we just had."

LETTING GO AND MOVING ON

During that time one afternoon, I sat at my desk jut thinking, Holly saw me and at the end of the workday, I found a diagram on my desk that Holly left. I looked over it very intently and something about this visual drawing depicting life energy, life goals, and fuel from being with people that use dry wood, to keep their successful life a blaze finally put my thoughts in order. (See appendix #1)

After she explained the diagram in more detail at our next meeting, I asked where would I meet people with the same goals as myself. Holly smiled and opened her arms and said "look right here, a coffee house or like I meet you at work." If you are new like me go to the community service agency and get involved with their volunteer programs of helping with at risk youth and the elderly, they have a multiple of activities you can get involved in. Then there is the local library, company work events, such as employee/family picnics, softball team, 5k and 10k weekend runs, church weekday activities the list is endless. (See appendix #2). I go anywhere that I can find people to add positive energy to my goals, dreams and wishes and always tell people what you want to be doing in life both long-term and short term. This process is an all win for ever body because everybody is giving each other positive energy and positive input towards every bodies goals." This got me thinking but another thought popped into my head and I let Holly know. "With my background, how can I relate to these people?" I mean............ She stopped me right there and said "now when we first met, I told you that there were things about me that you would be surprised to know." I said "like what?" She said, "I was an orphan who grew up on the streets, I dropped out of school and worked in fast food places." I then went to a community college and got my GED and so forth. But before I went to a community college, I was told something that changed my entire life for the good. I was told to let things go that would be a burden for me to carry in getting my goals. Dwelling on the past was getting me nowhere. I kept thinking what I always thought and got the same negative unhappy results. I used to think that my being a woman was holding me back from achieving my goals in the business world, but what it comes down to is, who is willing to work the hardest and make plans for success. I had to let all of my insecurities go and be human. I found a short story which helped illustrate my new way of thinking. This is about two monks who were walking to another monastery which was 15 miles away. Along the way they had to cross a river. At the rivers crossing, they came upon a woman struggling to get across. So, one of the monks went over and picked the woman up and carried her across and sat her down and continued walking. After a couple of miles walking, the one monk said to the other monk, "we made a vow to never touch a woman and you just carried that woman." The monk replied, "I know. But I sat her down and you my dear friend are the one who is is still carrying her not me."

So you see Dan, you have to let things go if they will not help or aid you in getting where you want to go or what you want in life.

COGNITIVE DISSONANCE

As I left the coffee house, Holly had me thinking. I have had these thoughts before but hearing them said and explained has opened a new positive door in my mind. Started to think back of times in my life where, if I would have put into practice what I was told today, how it would have changed things. Then it dawned on me, that it does no good for me to think about the past. The future...