Today marriage is under attack from all sides. Some want to change the institution into an unrecognizable union between anyone or anything, while others seek its demise altogether. This handbook supplies Christians with fundamentals of biblical marriage and family life which are both practical and useful for apologetic application. Topics include: Origin of Marriage, Dating, Communication, Intimacy, Children, Adultery, Pornography, Divorce, Remarriage, Homosexuality, and more.

THE HANDBOOK OF CHRISTIAN FAMILY MARRIAGE

A Guide to Understanding and Preserving Holy MatrimonyBy Steven G. Bushnell

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2009 Steven G. Bushnell
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4490-0227-5

Contents

CHAPTER ONE MARRIAGE GENESIS Marriage Rebellion................................................1CHAPTER TWO MARRIAGE PRELUDE Dating and Courting................................................11CHAPTER THREE MARRIAGE REINFORCEMENT Strengthening the Marriage Bond............................25CHAPTER FOUR MARRIAGE COMMUNICATION Talking Through the Issues..................................38CHAPTER FIVE MARRIAGE INTIMACY Scripture and Marital Sex........................................55CHAPTER SIX MARRIAGE DOMESTICATON Children and Family...........................................70CHAPTER SEVEN MARRIAGE SPRITUALITY Marriage and Prayer Life.....................................81CHAPTER EIGHT MARRIAGE INFEDILITY Pornography and Adultery......................................94CHAPTER NINE MARRIAGE BREAKDOWN Separation and Types of Divorce.................................104CHAPTER TEN MARRIAGE COUNSELING Secular and Christian Counseling................................117CHAPTER ELEVEN MARRIAGE REOCCURANCE & RECONCILLATION Divorce and Remarriage.....................130CHAPTER TWELVE MARRIAGE UNHOLY Homosexual Unions................................................144CHAPTER THIRTEEN MARRIAGE CELEBRATION Marriage Success..........................................160CHAPTER FOURTEEN MARRIAGE QUESTIONS Marriage Relations..........................................173MARRIAGE SCRIPTURE REFERENCE......................................................................181

Chapter One

Genesis 2:24, "Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh."

MARRIAGE GENESIS

Marriage Rebellion

My wife Kristen loved to visit and care for her horse, Beau. Before the thoroughbred passed on, he resides on a ranch in Ojai, California, less than an hour's drive from our home. On occasion, I would travel with her to enjoy the scenery and take in the fresh air. I remember one summer afternoon while she was giving the anxious gelding a much anticipated brushing, I walked across the rustic terrain toward two oak trees where a hammock is suspended. After testing its strength to confirm that it could support my weight, I rolled into it.

It doesn't take long for my mind to start to wander as the warm breeze that rustles through the leaves gently caresses me and causes the hammock to sway slowly. I review a lifetime of thoughts and experiences, especially childhood memories. I remember the books I had read back then, A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle Wojciechowska and A is for Andromeda by Fred Hoyle. I remember the Viet Nam war, the assassination of President John Kennedy, Doctor Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy. I also remember Malcolm X preaching about Black Nationalism. I remember when Neil Armstrong first stepped onto the surface of the moon, the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Watts Riots and the Bay of Pigs. I remember Elvis returning to music after his military service, the Beatles becoming part of the acid rock music culture and I also remember Woodstock. I have been accused of attending Woodstock, but in reality I was not allowed to do more then watch it unfold on my parent's aging black and white monolithic Zenith television. But as important as all those events were, not one of these effected change to the world as much as what had occurred in San Francisco during the 1960s.

It was a counter-cultural movement from an extremely liberal group referred to as "hippies," "love children" or "the love generation." They were a collection of middle class baby boomers striking out in the opposite direction of their conservative World War II parents. They were pushing for extreme social revolution and reform. What was behind their movement? Some would argue that they stood for peace, while others would say they stood for equality but their real underpinning cause was sexual freedom. They demanded taboos be removed from all forms of sex. They wanted to do anything with anyone at anytime without consequence. Isn't this what was promised by the serpent in Eden? (Genesis 3:5, "For God knows that in the day you eat it, your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God ...") Their course of action was to pressure society change by staging orgies (love-ins), and living in communes with open sex. (There were serious consequences for this behavior. During the period of 1964-1968 sexually transmitted diseases rose 168% in California.) This created an anti-cultural platform which challenged everything, including fundamental beliefs in God, love, respect, law, morality, relationships. The family structure and marriage was especially targeted for liberal revision.

There have always been those who challenge the very necessity for the institution of marriage. Members of fringe groups declare they march to a different drummer by turning their back on marriage and simply living together. (It was called "living in sin" or "shacking up" when I was a child.) This behavior, usually looked down upon, rarely resulted in arrests by state authorities unless minors or sodomy was an issue. Although there was a degree of deviant behavior in their actions, most people tolerated it while generally hoping that their fallen neighbor would abandon their sinful ways and come back into the flock. But those people have always been a small percentage of the general population. That is, until this counter-culture group stopped protesting at their local college and university long enough to get a degree. With their education, they were now equipped to move into the population at large as college professors, business executives and congressional leaders. Bringing their repackaged anti-culture propaganda to the next generation they declared that Christianity is to blame for all society's problems and it should be replaced their own "if-it-feels-good-do-it" ideology. Statistics show they have done an extraordinary job at discouraging many followers of Christianity in America; Christianity is down by nearly ten percent in the last decade.

The information that a secular group is working against Christians and Christian marriage shouldn't come as any surprise to most Christians. Jesus spoke of such events in John 15:18, "If the world hates you, you know that it has hated me before it hated you." When the majority in a population hates something it is easier to accept their reasoning and just live with it, then to fight against it. However, we are told in Matthew 5:13 that we are the salt of the earth and therefore we cannot simply turn our back on problems (internal or external) regarding Christian marriage. This being the case, then we must be ready to defend marriage and the traditional family. To accomplish this we must have a proper understand of Christian marriage.

Christian Perspective of Marriage

Marriage wasn't created by Christianity but as Christians we believe that it was created by God and therefore is considered a sacred institution. Common sense tells us that traditional marriage and family is the foundational pillar to every society. Take away the support of marriage by the church and state and/or trivialize how marriage and family are defined (i.e. either everything or nothing) and you've set the stage for genocide.

Marriage and the family...