Beginning the Path to Happily Inner After

Once upon a time, I dreamed of having it all — the perfect life, husband, home and beautiful family. It could have been set in an idyllic Norman Rockwell painting that merged with the movie, Pleasantville. I wanted the one thing I felt that every other 'born in the 50s woman wanted. I wanted my own private happily ever after.

After all, I was like so many young and hopeful girls acculturated by fairy tale fantasies that permeated movies, fictional books and our minds. As we played dress-up and house, most of us dreamed of our someday handsome prince.

Even as adult women, we want to fill our cedar-lined hope chests. What? No one does that anymore? Today, we tag our favorite photos in Pinterest™ instead. We also gaze at glossy magazine covers, with visions of white picket fences, freshly mown green lawns, vibrant flower beds, and golden light streaming through sparkling windows embedded in our minds. For some reason, we continue to believe that within these tranquil environments, all of our dreams can come true.

Despite my best efforts and what I thought were positive thoughts toward creating my own Camelot, I have lived my life sort of like Phil; the character Bill Murray played in the movie Groundhog's Day. Much like Phil, I've been living similar experiences over and over again, without changing my choices. I've repeated the same fearful patterns of distrusting men and always keeping love at a distance, barely out of arm's reach. Consequently, I've never reached my goal of happily ever after.

I had to ask myself two questions, "What do I want?" and "What does 'happily ever after' mean to me?" I want to be somebody's queen. I would like to be his goddess muse. I want to be their one and only, and not second in line to others who are deemed more important. Some of my deepest desires are to receive a man's love freely without imposed conditions or compromises; to be loved fiercely and fully, as well as to be cherished, honored and spoiled by a man who would go through the fire for me.

The concept of someone loving me unconditionally is wonderful. I don't want them to show love with only their words, but rather with their actions. It would be amazing to know deep in my heart and soul that I was truly loved by a wonderful man, and to have this all without lifting a finger to make him feel that way. Do you have these desires as well? Do you have a fear that they won't come true for you, as I have?

After finding the answers to the first questions, I had to ask myself two more questions: "What do I fear?" and "What was preventing my 'happily ever after'?"

I feared that by not being someone's queen, I somehow lacked what it takes to attract a man like that in my life. I incorrectly thought that I had fallen short because I had not found a man; but also that I didn't have what it takes to keep him in my life. I thought that somehow my special someone would grow tired, bored or weary of me, and eventually move onto greener pastures.

My worst fear was that I wasn't worthy of such a wonderful and mature man – a king. I knew I would have to continuously exhaust myself in order to make a man love me. I believed it would require even more effort to get my 'king' to want to be with me.

Now, before you get out the world's smallest violin, I did gain something from this emotional challenge in my life. At that time, I still had to learn that I needed to be my own king first. In discovering that for myself, I would finally attract exactly what I been dreaming of.

As a friend once told me when I was 18 years old, "Take what you have and make the best of it." Afterward, I realized that I had to abide by this philosophy. In addition, I could not try to fix, repair, tweak or manipulate the world around me; rather, I could only change myself.

In doing so, I could effectively alter my own world, and live my 'Happily Inner After.'

I am living proof of living 'Happily Inner After,' complete with my knight in shining amour. I'm not the only one that this will work for. You can achieve this too. This book will show you precisely how to do this and more.

Finding the Thread to My (And Your) Happiness

With one marriage behind me by the year 2000, I was acutely aware of what was driving all these fears. It had all primarily stemmed out of my abandonment issues as a child, due to my father's absence. So, amidst the beauty of the Mark Twain forests in Southern Missouri, I began my quest for healing by taking part in several prayers and drum circles, as well as attend events at Native American sweat lodges. To my absolute surprise, I found my answer on December 31, 1999; shortly after functioning as stonekeeper for a sacred lodge at the Millennium Sweat event.

Three days later, on January 3, 2000, I had a fully-realized awakening experience which would change my life forever. In a single moment, I became completely aware of the absoluteness of all things within myself, and felt the numinous quality of divine love flowing through me. It was as if everything literally resided within one cell in my finger, and that it contained all of the many universes.

The weight of that responsibility touched me deeply; because it wasn't to be taken lightly. Perhaps our supposed veils were there for a reason. Just maybe they were acting as safeguards to protect us, and everything around us, from ourselves. I felt at one with God, and knew that we were all meant to live in joy, absolute happiness and bliss.

In my awakening, many valuable pieces of insight and inspiration about the mind of God were laid bare. I knew that I could not contain all of this insight, and keep it for myself.

Over the next fourteen years, I began to further prepare myself to be an empty vessel for teaching. I resumed efforts to reconcile my past through a myriad of healing modalities. Some of these included clearing my karma, tapping out my issues, and detox diets. I also received hands-on healing, Reiki healing and transformational meditations. I even fluffed my aura.

Throughout this time,...