CHAPTER 1
The Journey Continues:
THE ALPHA EPIDEMIC
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HELLO, MY NAME IS LINDY, AND I AM AN ALPHA-HOLIC. The title of the first book in this trilogy utilized the word "recovering" for a very good reason, as even now I realize that I am definitely not recovered.
So, welcome to the second volume of what is absolutely NOT a series of self-help books. Sure, you might have found it in the self-help section, but it's so much less about learning a whole bunch of new things and so much more about accepting what you already know and are. In my opinion, self-help books can illuminate your deficits to make you feel like you are more messed up than you really are, like you are not enough and are in need of fixing, and that's simply just not true. You are YOU-nique, and this is a chance to recognize and cultivate that in and for yourself.
If you've read the previous volume, Recovering Alpha Female, then you likely have an idea of what to expect from the layout and content of this book. While the goal is certainly to offer what is needed, keep those expectations in check. As I like to say, Expectation isResentment in the Making! Instead of believing that you know exactly what you're going to get out of these pages, keep an open mind and let the words have their own space to whisper to you and provide the meaning you need, rather than the one you expect. Grab a cup of tea, uncap your highlighter, or maybe lay out your "happy pens" and continue to enjoy the journey.
I was (eventually) able to let go of many of my expectations while writing this book, and it has had an authentic influence on the outcome. As many authors will tell you, creating a book is very much like birthing a child. And, like pregnancy and birth, the second "child" is just not quite as scary as the first. I hadn't counted on this or even realized it was going to happen, but I sure am glad I didn't stick with my expectation that it was going to be a terrifyingly difficult process. It reminds me that recovering from my Alpha ways is a daily practice and that the more open I am to it, the more I see Grace in my life. My Alpha side still rears its head from time to time. After all, being an Alpha Female is a huge part of my personality. It's been my go-to and comfort zone for many years.
Recognizing, accepting, and holding space for myself has required a beautiful and much-needed transition. Sometimes embracing this aspect of who I am is a pretty good thing, but it can also feel like a relapse. When it comes to making these kinds of major changes, it's important to remember that we are recovering, not "recovered."
CHAPTER 2
CHOOSING THE CHECKLIST
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I KNOW THAT IN THE LAST BOOK I TOLD YOU TO CHUCK THE CHECKLIST, BUT NOW THAT YOU'RE A LITTLE WISER, I THINK YOU'RE READY FOR IT. So, the checklist is back, but this time it is authentic, nurturing, and graceful.
The amped and ramped, racked and stacked, instant-gratification characteristics of our culture are total energy suckers. It isn't exactly a nurturing or graceful world out there right now. We have the kids, the cars, the hairstyles, the appointments, the neighbors, and so much more. It's a list that is impossible to juggle without having our light and energy sucked right out of us. We are at a time where it is more critical than ever to learn how to manage our own energies. Find a Woo-Woo Guru, establish your tribe, and replenish your energy. One way that I have found useful for managing my energy is by Choosing the Checklist. This is my self-care, self-compassion, energy-restoring checklist that helps me to get through the day or the month. The checklist has no time limit, and, like everything else, must be used in balance to ensure positive results. Your checklist will probably look different than mine, but here are some examples to get you started.
• Get a massage
• Take a hot bath
• Grab coffee with a girlfriend
• Update your hairstyle
• Get some acupuncture therapy
• Participate in the Love Loop
• Go somewhere that you feel Zentered
• Soak your feet at home and watch a chick flick
• Get a numerology reading
• Take pictures outside
• Do something you enjoyed when you were younger
• Laugh for no reason
• Read a book recommended by a sister
• Play with your hair
• Do yoga
• Sit on a mat in a quiet space and let go
• Visit a Shaman
By choosing the checklist, we can take initiative in our own lives in a gentle way, rather than a forceful one. We can hold space for ourselves to prioritize positivity and Grace. As you create your own checklist, realize that you are choosing to step into the Walk of Grace.
Choosing the Checklist has been pivotal in my journey as I learn how to manage my auto-immune disease. It has allowed the space for me to put my health and well-being as a priority in my life. Rather than bogging my disease down with Alpha Overdrive and the FreneticEnergetic, as we will get into, I offer myself time and patience as I respect the dis-ease that shares my body.
When we start to choose our checklist we begin to own our YOU-niqueness and our quirks and colors.
So why do we choose the checklist? As you take time and find ways to nurture your spirit your quirks become your Colors and you find Magic in theMoment. As we choose the checklist we are choosing to step into Grace. In this place things begin to unfold without fear or force and we tend to get in our own way. Be sure to cultivate your checklist so that you may appreciate Progress, not Perfection. As your checklist develops you will become more comfortable with keeping up with yourself, not the Joneses and Beingthe Black Sheep won't be such a burden anymore. Allow this process to become part of your lifestyle as you embark on your Journey. Take time to choose a checklist that will inspire your spirit and generate Grace into your life.
CHAPTER 3
STUCK IN THE MUCK
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LIFE IS MEANT TO BE LIVED. So how is it that we often feel like our particular lives are holding us back from doing just that? We are so very busy flitting from one item to the next on the to-do list, that we forget to weigh the value of those tasks. Being busy isn't an accomplishment, and it doesn't make life more meaningful. It's the tasks we choose to busy...
