Don't you want to be a better parent? The Intentional Parenting Plan (TIPP) challenges parents to think and plan for their child's life. Covering eight areas of parenting, parents are asked to respond to questions that help them clarify what they want for the child. The purpose of completing the plan is for parents to be able to visualize the image that they want for the child. Through examining their thoughts about character, image, health and wellness, home life, education, finances, and the world, parents are asked to develop a written plan (included in the book) for the child. This plan will guide parents in the growth and development of the child. Most parents spend more time planning a child's first birthday party than they do in planning for any area of the child's life, including spiritual training and education. Many of us take for granted that there will always be enough time and enough information available to us in order for us to make sound on-the-spot decisions. Many vital decisions in child-rearing are left open to chance; a chance that we will make the right decision; a chance that our child will grow up and become the person we desire that they become; a chance that others will interact in positive and meaningful ways with our child; and a chance that our child will learn to plan her/his own life. We take these chances, not because we do not care enough to plan our child-rearing practices, but because no one has ever really challenged us to pause long enough to think about and to think through what it means to parent intentionally with a specific purpose in mind. TIPP is designed to assist parents in putting on paper deliberate and planned actions that will help them in successful child-rearing.

The Intentional Parenting Plan

TIPPBy Veda Pendleton McClain

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2009 Veda Pendleton McClain
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4389-9740-7

Contents

Dedication.......................................................vAcknowledgements.................................................viiPreface..........................................................xiBeginning to Think and Plan......................................1Understanding Your Purpose.......................................11Your Family Profile..............................................13Your Family Goals................................................17Shaping Character, Conversation, and Conduct.....................21Creating a Godly Image...........................................39Minding Your Temple: Health and Wellness.........................45Cultivating Your Home Life.......................................55Parenting Matters................................................69Focusing on Education............................................81Facing Finances..................................................93Exploring the World..............................................103Parting Words - A Conclusion.....................................111Appendix A - Scriptures..........................................113Appendix B - Examples............................................129Your TIPP........................................................131Glossary of Terms................................................149Resources and Other Thinking Tools...............................150Author's Note....................................................153About the Author.................................................155

Chapter One

Beginning to Think and Plan

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things." Philippians 4:8

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." Matthew 7:24-27

"I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and put them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete." Luke 6:47-49

No one begins building a house without giving serious consideration to the plans for building it. The plans serve as directions for how the house will be built, where each room will be located, how big the rooms will be, and what materials will be used in constructing the house. Within the plans are additional plans for the foundation, electrical wiring, plumbing, flooring, wall materials, lighting, roofing, etc. that make it clear to the builders just how the contractor or the owner wants the finished product to look. Those plans call for careful thought about how and where each feature of the house will be and how it will look as well as an estimated budget for building the house. Even with those clearly and carefully designed plans, there are flaws in materials and sometimes even in workmanship due to human error and frailty. Nothing that is manmade is perfect, and it can never be perfect.

The same is true of designing and building cars, computers, telephones, furniture, bridges, televisions, and any other manmade creation. Wherever there is a creation, a plan was first created and developed with careful consideration of the proposed product or outcome and its potential usage. In each case, the designer had or has a plan.

In business, there are organizational charts, vision and mission statements, along with strategic plans that chart the course for the company. These plans have specific goals, a timeline, and actions outlined so that members of the organization can know, understand, and follow the company's plans. These plans exist for purpose and clarity of mission so that the desired outcome is reached. Although such plans are common and expected in manmade creations and organizations, most of us rarely if ever think of having such a plan for child rearing, and therefore, do not plan as intensely or intentionally for the lives of our children.

Creating and Rearing Children

Creating and rearing children should involve intense and intentional planning before, during, and after the birth of the child. This planning should begin with an idea of the purpose for the family and for the child. From that sense of purpose should emerge a plan for the growth and development of the child as a contributing member of the family.

Creating and rearing children is not always planned, and even when parents prepare for the birth of a child, rarely do they take the time and actually plan and write down their plans for rearing the child. Many parents have indicated that they do not have a written plan, a plan that someone else could pick up and implement in the event of a catastrophic illness, prolonged absence, or even death. Most parents have ideas about how they would want their child to be reared, but no one to date has acknowledged having a thoughtfully written plan for their child. Just like in building a house, there are plans, parents need specific plans for what they would ideally like to see happen in the lives of their children that will help them grow and develop into successful adults.

The Intentional Parenting Plan

The Intentional Parenting Plan (TIPP) is the beginning of such a plan for parents as they work to rear their children. I truly believe that each parent does the best that he/she knows to do with their child. They do the best with the knowledge, understanding, and faith that they have. When more knowledge is gained in a particular area, parents begin to make the necessary changes that are in the best interests of their child. Many times because of a lack of understanding, parents, like other humans, sometimes make choices and decisions that are not in the best interests of their child. These decisions sometimes send the family spiraling out of control or at least in an undesirable direction, and it takes months and sometimes years for the family situation to be remedied and reconciled in meaningful ways that turn around a poor decision.

TIPP is an attempt to help parents think, reflect, and make thoughtful decisions through planning ahead for what they want to see happen in the life of each child; that is, before a decision is made about the rearing of the child. This is not an easy task, nor is it one that should be taken lightly or done in haste. Thoughtful planning and decision-making requires a combination of close self-examination, prayer, knowledge, and insight into human nature. These are all aspects of life that affect who we become as we...