John Mallory was seventeen years old. For all that was thrown at him in his daily battle to please peers, parents, and teachers, life was not so bad. Except, of course, for that lingering cough and dragged out feeling that seemed to linger. But cancer? The mere thought of it, along with the sudden coming to terms with ones' own mortality, forced his family to re-examine their lives in an effort to understand where this latest journey would take them. Kevin Mallory and his wife Nancy live in Portland, Maine with their son John. They have been married for twenty-two years. As middle class Americans whose priorities included steering down the road to retirement and wondering how to pay for college, they were blindsided by the events this narrative hopes to put into perspective. What started out as note taking for reference when talking to doctors, soon evolved into personal comments, unfolding feelings, and eventually thoughts of writing a book. This no-holds-barred look at family life under the gun doesn't try to break new ground; rather it chooses to examine the overwhelming issues facing an American teenage cancer patient through the eyes of his parents.

John

A Journey BackBy Kevin J. Mallory Nancy A Lane

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2009 Kevin J. Mallory and Nancy A Lane
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4401-5546-8

Contents

Dedicated to...........................................................vAcknowledgments........................................................ixForeword...............................................................xvIntroduction...........................................................xix1. The Journey Begins.................................................12. From a Physician's Point of View...................................33. Nancy and Me and Baby Makes Three..................................54. Doctor D...........................................................95. So, What Do We Tell John?..........................................116. Why Do Babies Cry?.................................................157. John...............................................................178. We Need To Talk, John..............................................199. The Little Man.....................................................2310. The Bear...........................................................2511 Grandparents and Other Assorted Family Members.....................2912 Hospitals..........................................................3113 Daycare............................................................3314 A Second Opinion...................................................3515 Of T-Ball and Worms................................................3716 Bedside Manners....................................................3917 Bobble Heads.......................................................4118 Homecoming.........................................................4519 Jelly Sandwiches...................................................4920 Odds...............................................................5121 Man's Inability to Otherwise Act Normal............................5522 Medi-Ports and Friends.............................................5923 Learning an Art....................................................6324 Chemotherapy.......................................................6525 Stupid Is as Stupid Does...........................................6726 Riding the Waves...................................................7127 New Freedoms.......................................................7328 Faith..............................................................7529 Thanksgiving.......................................................7930 Kayaks.............................................................8131 Medicinal Use Only.................................................8532 High School........................................................8733 Middle Age Put on Hold.............................................8934 Wednesdays.........................................................9135 Donuts and Fuzzy Bears.............................................9336 A Mountain in Maine................................................9537 Amanda.............................................................9938 Toy Soldiers.......................................................10139 Media Hound........................................................10340 "Are you ready for a whole day, Dad?"..............................10541 Small Victories....................................................10942 Traditions.........................................................11143 Public Servant.....................................................11344 Couch Duty.........................................................11745 A Christmas Gift...................................................121EPILOUGE...............................................................125LIST OF QUOTED AUTHORS.................................................131

Chapter One

The Journey Begins

Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words,-"Wait and hope." ~ Alexandre Dumas

John's journey began on October 16, 2008, when he immerged from his doctor's examination room and, in a somewhat frantic gesture for a teenager, waved for his mom to come quickly. The physician's assistant met her at the door and quickly affirmed that John did, indeed, have bronchitis. She also stated that there were other issues of more immediate concern.

John's journey would involve many people, impact many people, and leave few people who know him unaffected. It would be a journey that would provoke a newfound sense of family, friendships, and caring. The focal point would not center on our shattered comfort zone of twenty-two years, but rather what had displaced it. We had no road map, no compass to steer by. This was a world of unknowns that would come at us with breakneck speed, posing a lifetime of questions in a very short time span that was not of our choosing.

The notion that "bad things happen to good people" was squarely there for us to confront. The reality of the moment was brought home forcefully; we felt as if we had been squarely punched in the stomach, and then punched again, and again. The times would test us more than any challenge we had faced thus far. The times would test our parenting skills, our faith, and our abilities to cope with something that, until now, only happened to other people. For John, it would be a test of physical endurance and mental intrigue that would move him from one challenge to the next, willed on by his human spirit.

For all of us, the journey back had begun.

Chapter Two

From a Physician's Point of View

Fifty percent of the doctors in this country graduated in the bottom half of their classes. ~ Al McGuire

Nancy called me at work to tell me what was happening. The conversation made no sense to me whatever. She rambled on and tried to explain to me what the doctor had told her.

"From a physician's point of view, this doesn't look good," was really all I heard.

"They said they want him to go for a CT scan, a chest X-ray, and have some blood work done. They want it done today."

Her monotone delivery was not Nancy. This was Nancy in distress mode. With an unspoken agreement between us never to call work unless it was something serious, I realized this was more than serious. With the phone buzzing and the radio blaring behind me, another interruption in my day was not a welcome moment, but I knew by the tone of her voice that I should listen carefully.

"What the hell are you talking about? I thought he just had a cough?" was all I could manage.

I wanted to be anywhere but where I was. I wanted to be beside them both. I take that back, I wanted to be beside Nancy at this moment. I knew John would handle this thing the way John handles everything. I could hear him now, "How long is this going to take?"

The rest of my day was a blur.

Chapter Three

Nancy and Me and Baby Makes Three

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. ~ Carl Sandburg

John Lane Mallory was born May 23, 1991-our first and only child, adding to a family of two other boys from a previous marriage, both grown and out on their own. After five years of marriage, John was unexpected, but very much wanted when the news came. While we had never...