CHAPTER 1
The Importance of Decision Making
To decide is to eliminate options in order to focus actions on the direction of your choice. Paraphrased from the Oxford English Dictionary
What is showing up in your life today is a direct result of the decisions you have made up to now. In order to create a different result you have to make a different decision.
There are times when it makes sense to follow what others are doing or to get advice; there are also times when only you know what is best for you, regardless of what makes logical sense or what others say. It's these decisions I struggled with the most. As a result, I felt stuck—a lot! I would avoid making a decision. Sometimes I was afraid I would do the wrong thing. Sometimes I was afraid of losing a friend or a partner or a job. Most of the time, I was afraid to make a decision and afraid not to make one at the same time. This kept me in a state of doing nothing.
Often, the only way I would make a decision was if life nudged me to do so. In other words, my back was against the wall before I decided. This made life more difficult than it needed to be. Finally, I grew tired of getting not-so-friendly nudges from the universe and decided that my life could be a little easier.
While I became aware of gut instinct, I didn't know how to connect with it on purpose. You know when you know what to do next. It just feels right. You feel sure, and there is no doubt whatsoever. That is when your thoughts, emotions, and gut instincts are all on the same page, or aligned. I was aware that when I was in this sure place, the outcomes of my decisions worked well for my family and me.
But at times I would get significant opposition from friends and family. "What are you doing? Are you crazy?" they'd say. Though my decisions looked like I was passing up an opportunity, they always, always paid off, setting me up in a better position than I had been in previously. I am glad I persisted. This happened in career moves, with partner decisions, and when buying property. In these situations, if and when things worked out, I believed I was lucky.
Very simply, I learned from examples like those given above that there are two types of decisions: those where you are connected to your inner wisdom and those where you are not. When I made my decisions from that disconnected place, I almost always second-guessed myself. I often missed the opportunity because I would worry, procrastinate, and wonder if things would go wrong. I was hoping for the best and doubting myself at the same time. Does this sound familiar?
The inability to make decisions makes you a product of your environment rather than master of your world. When you don't know what you want, others decide for you. This is fine for a kid, but it doesn't work when you want to take control of your life.
Choosing your life goals and making decisions that direct your actions to achieve those goals keeps you from becoming the victim of your life. Discovering the ability to decide and take the steps to achieve what you want is critical to you taking charge of your direction in the world.
When you were a child, you were told what to do, and you lived according to others' rules. As you moved into your teenage years, you started to make decisions for yourself. You had the guidance of your parents, teachers, and peers, and you learned how to develop your choices and then decided according to the directions you chose. As you progressed, your decisions were based on knowing what you wanted. Now, even in work, you need to have plans or goals that align with the company but are yours nonetheless.
Decisions determine the actions you take to create the outcomes you want. Where you live and with whom, where you go, what you do, and where you work are all results of decisions. Your decisions determine whether or not you take the steps necessary to achieve your goals. They cause you to stay the same or to change direction. Have you noticed that the main reason you get stuck in something is because of the difficulty of deciding what to do next?
You can have many great ideas, but if you don't make decisions to take action, the great ideas remain just that—ideas. For example, have you had a great idea and not taken action, only to see someone else make a lot of money out of it later on?
Knowing What You Want
Knowing what you want is important when making decisions. The more clearly you can specify what you want, the better the chance you have of making decisions that lead straight there. Say, for example, you want to meet a new partner. The decision supporting that want sets the actions necessary to make that happen. You may decide to join a dating agency. You probably have a good idea of what you would like your partner to be like. And as you begin the dating process, the experiences help you to further discern your ideal partner. You also develop a definite set of no's and an extensive list of yes's.
Knowing What You Don't Want
Sometimes it is easier to know what you do want based on knowing what you don't want. Knowing what you don't want helps you to fine-tune what you do want. You can make decisions that define the steps you need to take in the direction you want or to take away from what you don't want. For example, you may start your education with a general science degree. As you learn more about the subject, you can better choose the direction you would prefer to specialize in, like biochemistry or physics. When you are stuck, making the decision to move in any direction can shift your status quo.
Thinking You Know What You Want
While you can make decisions based on others' experiences and advice, it may not give you the satisfaction you thought it would. If you are a teenager, when you develop more independence, there are so many things to learn and so many first times, it can be scary. It is easy to go for what you know and to follow your parents or peers. Some decide to rebel against their parents and peers. The reality is that only you can determine your likes and dislikes. And working out the pieces you want to keep and those you want to leave behind is a natural part of growing up.
So set a goal. The decisions you make will determine your path to that goal. The power of decision making comes in having the ability to change your mind if something isn't working and to set a course in a different direction. It is knowing when to change course or not, depending on the circumstances. While the...
