This is a no nonsense straight to the point type of book. While thought provoking, this book will enhance a woman's relationship while prompting her to reevaluate past and current relationships. This book will be a tool of reference for women to resort to when deciding whether or not she should pursue the man she is interested in. When a man loves a woman he will come and do what is asked of him. Whereas when a man is in love with a woman he will do what is expected of him. The many books that have been written on matters of love and intimacy, fail to encompass the fact that women enter relationships for various reasons.

Ladies, The Writing Is On The Wall

Why Men Do the Things They Do, When Allowed?By Adrian Weber

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2010 Adrian Weber
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4490-7659-7

Contents

Acknowledgments.............................................................viiAbout the Author............................................................ixPreface.....................................................................xiIntroduction................................................................xvii1. Are you Ready to Hear This?..............................................12. What Exactly is It that You're Looking For?..............................23. Be Honest with yourself..................................................254. The Writing is On the Wall...............................................325. Listen to His Mom (being a good listener)................................526. Why Relationships, Why not remain Single?................................627. There's No Turning Back from Awareness...................................708. No Excuses, You owe it to yourself.......................................759. My Survey ...............................................................7910. To Love or to be in Love, there is a difference ........................83A Little Q & A Session......................................................93

Chapter One

Are you Ready to Hear This?

Ladies, what if I was to tell you that much of your failed relationships could have been avoided. I know this may not be what you want to hear but it is the truth. Allow me to further explain why. I've heard women say time and time again, "I should have known better", or "he never seemed to care" or the classic, "I knew he wasn't right for me." I know what you're thinking right now, "what is your point?" Well let me reiterate on something I mentioned earlier. A confident woman has the capacity to know when a relationship is in danger of going awry. In other words you don't have to be told by your family members, mother, girlfriends or colleagues to know when it's simply not working out. You already have strong intuitive abilities to determine whether or not the man you're with is right for you. Despite this fact some women still remain in the relationship (sometimes even an abusive one) because they feel they can change the man they're with. Well I'm here to tell you, unless that man has exhibited to you in the past or present that he is willing to change, he's not going to. If you accepted or tolerated his unwanted or abusive behavior to begin with for any period of time, what makes you think he's going to change for you now?

While dating or seeking a potential mate a lot can go through a woman's mind in making the right decision. A man will quickly become very complacent in doing whatever he's accustomed to doing if you allowed this behavior in the beginning. In essence, if he told you from day one that he didn't want children or doesn't see marriage in the near future, why then would you think he would change his mind? With that being said, I present to you the first scenario.

The Scenario:

I should have known he didn't want to get married. Linda angrily thought this to herself as she left for work this morning. He always looked away from me whenever I asked him if he ever had plans on marrying me. We've been seeing each other for approximately three years now and every time I bought up the subject he looked away or would change the subject. It almost seemed as if he were sinking into his chair whenever I ask him. I remember him saying in the beginning that he had no interest in getting remarried because of his last divorce and often complained about how much the divorce set him back financially. Linda said to herself, "I'm going to call him and speak to him giving him an ultimatum or I'm walking."

That very same day, Linda called James during her lunch break to do just that. He seemed receptive to what I had to say and understanding as well Linda thought. Maybe he will give in and marry me after all, she thought to herself. The very next morning they met for breakfast at his place and Linda casually bought up the subject of marriage as she did on numerous occasions asking James if he made a decision. It was his usual routine every time Linda brought up the subject of marriage. James hesitated, looked away and gave Linda a non definitive answer, "honey how many times do I have to tell you, I can't afford to get married right now?" He further elaborated, "but I promise you once my finances are straight we can discuss your dreams of getting married then. You know I just finalized my divorce", James would politely explain. But for some reason, Linda no longer accepted a lack of money as being a legitimate excuse. Linda quickly explained, "Honey, if its money you're worried about, I can pay for the wedding and all you have to do is show up." (Big Mistake ... See note at bottom of page). For this, James had no answer, so by James remaining silent, Linda started to make arrangements the following week for an elaborate wedding. The wedding was scheduled in the month of May for the following year and all of her friends and family were to attend. Linda was so excited that she even invited James' daughters who were products of his previous marriage. James' daughters did not agree with there relationship cause they often considered Linda much too old for their father. While James being 32 Linda was a stunningly attractive woman at 48 years of age and James daughters often referred to her as a cougar. Linda with two sons of her own to raise, was often the subject of controversy in James' household.

You see, Linda all ready had one failed marriage and unbeknownst to her, she was on her way to being divorced for a second time and didn't even know it. Linda seemingly was everything a man would want in a woman. She was a successful entrepreneur, attractive and very intelligent. She was also very assertive and well accustomed to getting what she wants. James himself was a foreman for a large construction company located in Manhattan, N.Y.. Needless to say, Linda spent nearly $80,000 on a wedding whereas the groom himself nor did any of his family members care to show up. Not only was Linda humiliated and trust that humiliation was the least of her worries. Linda would be in debt up to her neck for years to come and not to mention single once again.

Note: I actually attended this wedding. I've read about the runaway bride, but the runaway groom ..., now here's an interesting twist ... Ladies, I know I shouldn't have to tell you this but whenever you have to bribe your man in to marrying you, something Ladies, The Writing Is On The Wall is terribly wrong. I suggest ending the relationship during its infancy stages if marriage is important to you and he doesn't express any intentions on marrying at all.

The Lesson:

Linda knew that James had cold feet when it came to the subject of marriage. She knew of this at the very beginning of their relationship. Every time she mentioned marriage James would look away while he seemed to shrink in his chair and change the subject. His body language said it all. Even his responses indicated his distaste for being remarried. If you've noticed I purposely italicized his words, "your dreams." Simply put Linda's dreams of getting married were never his dreams and he referred to it as such.

When a man cares about you he will also care about what is important to you....