CHAPTER 1
The Purpose
The three purposes of this book are:
1. To start you on a path of personal transformation. My definition of transformation is chipping away at everything that is not your highest, best SELF by practicing progress not perfection.
2. To have you start to become conscious to, or awake to the fact that you create your own life through your thoughts, words, and energy, and for you to start doing it consciously, rather than by default.
3. My third, and most important purpose, is to have you know that you are loved and are worthy of love. People who know that they are loved behave in loving ways. People who know that they are loved are spiritually mature. They don't need to gossip or stir up trouble. They are secure in themselves. They see their impact on the world and have a commitment to make a difference. Throughout my life I have seen people go from being people with no support or connection to their higher SELF turn into people who know they are loved. It is like watching a flower bloom. Just a little love and support for people goes a long way.
I want you to know that you are loved so that you can have real fulfillment and joy in your life. Being someone who is loved makes all that possible. I want a world full of people who know they are loved, who feel connected to the knowing that I have, which is the knowing of being loved.
CHAPTER 2
Waking Up!
All of my work comes from the premises that everything is energy, and we each create our own reality. I believe we do this through our thoughts, words, and emotions. If I could define my work in one question it would be, "Why are you creating it that way?" I ask my clients that question a lot. Anytime they tell me a story where they have a loss of power I ask them, "Why are you creating it that way?" I have clients with whom I have worked for years that are quite facile with using this perspective. This is how I look at my life. I own all of it. It is rare that I have times when life looks "real" to me. I feel blessed to have acquired that level of consciousness. There are still times when I get triggered, or hijacked, or I haven't managed my well-being. That is when life looks like it is happening to me. Fortunately, I have designed my life so that I am surrounded by people who can remind me that I am creating all of it and ask me the question, "Why are you creating it that way?" The answer usually is so that I can be right about something. It used to be so that I could be right about how unworthy I was. For the most part, that has disappeared for me. I know that I am loved beyond measure. Still, sometimes I find myself playing the victim or martyr. By doing so, I get to get out of being responsible, or I get to justify my bad behavior. It's always one of those things. Ego in charge.
When you can ask yourself, or look at, "Why am I creating it this way?" without being defensive, or self-judging, a whole new level of freedom and power is available.
The practices that I do and that I teach are based in principles of New Thought teachings and the Law of Attraction. Much has been written about the principles of spiritual law and the laws of the Universe. My friend Pam Grout (www.pamgrout.com) is the author of two books, E-Squared and E-Cubed. Each book offers nine experiments to prove your thoughts create your reality. I hope you will read Pam's books as well as many others that have you understand that you are the only one creating the reality you live in.
Even if you don't completely believe it, practicing the principles I will talk about in this book will take you out of the role of victim or martyr, and will put you in the driver's seat of your life. Who doesn't want that?
In Shawn Achor's book, The Happiness Advantage, he talks about how Einstein's Theory of Relativity challenges our common understanding of the fixed nature of time. He gives the example that because of the relative nature of time and motion, a person standing still would age faster than one travelling at the speed of light. Though it challenges our common sense, which would tell us that our rate of aging should be fixed, it illuminates the relative relationship of time and motion. Even those things that seem so fixed and unchangeable, according to Einstein's theory depend a lot on where the observer stands.
Achor says, "Relativity doesn't end with mere physics. Every second of our own experience has to be measured through a relative and subjective brain. In other words, "reality" is merely our brain's relative understanding of the world based on where and how we are observing it. Most important, we can change this perspective at any moment, and by doing so change our experience of the world around us."
You don't have to believe as I do, that everything is energy and we are always creating our own reality with our words, thoughts, and emotions. If you make a choice to come from the perspective that you are creating your own reality, and view your life through that lens, then you can be someone who takes 100% responsibility for their life. And if you can be someone who can take 100% responsibility for their life, then you are never a victim of anyone or anything. And that, my friend, is power!
I like using the term response ability or being 100% able to respond to my life, to my own moods and feelings, and life as it comes.
Being proactive instead of reactive is the number one habit in Stephen Covey's book, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People. Covey writes about being 100% response able for your reactions to life.
When people come to work with me as a coach, I ask them two questions before we can start. They are: Are you willing to have a powerful and happy life? Are you willing to be held 100% responsible for creating it?
The Anatomy of a Belief
This book is intended to give you tools and perspectives that allow you to wake up and get conscious that you are the one creating your experience of reality. One of the main exercises we do in my seminars and you will do in the Practical Application section of this book is based on your BS, or Belief System.
We know today that the brain has recorded everything you have ever thought or emoted about all of your life. Whether you believe it or not, those programs or neural patterns are always running in the background of your mind, even if you don't know it or are unconscious of it.
The best example I can think of to explain this is to compare it to an iPhone. If you lightly double-click on the button at the bottom of the screen, all the programs or websites you have opened in the past will pop up. You need to take your finger and swipe them away to close them. They have been running in the background using your battery life even though you didn't see them, and probably weren't aware that they were there. The same is true with your BS (Belief System). It is always running in the background whether you...
