CHAPTER 1
Why Should You Listen to Me?
I have a couple of reasons why you should listen to me about life balance:
1. I made a long career about the study of the topic.
2. My life story led me to the topic in the first place.
My educational background and life experiences have influenced my unique view of the world. Both inspired me to write this book. Each experience, whether deliberate or accidental, took me down a path that intersected with another route and moved me in ways I could not have imagined.
In 1979, my new husband Tom and I moved to a one-room cabin in the woods in northern Minnesota. We naïvely jumped into the lifestyle mostly because we thought it would be cheap living, but also because we loved nature and simple living. The cabin was the size of a single-car garage, without plumbing or electricity. Our compact stove and refrigerator were fueled with propane, and for heat, we used a small woodstove. In order to survive the cold and snowy Minnesota winters, we needed a large supply of wood to burn, so we spent many hours in the woods, often on snowshoes, cutting and splitting wood and dragging it back to the cabin. We used lanterns for light and gathered water from a nearby creek.
Of course, in the winter, the creek was frozen over, so we had to break a hole in the ice to scoop out the water we needed. The biggest challenge for me was using an outhouse for our other plumbing needs. Toilet seats become frosted in the winter, so to ease the discomfort, we put strips of carpet on the seat to prevent it from sticking to our skin. I didn't like going to the outhouse when it was dark, and even though I knew black bears hibernated in the winter, I imagined meeting one between the cabin and outhouse. I always took a flashlight with me.
Our lifestyle was very simple. I had a professional job as an occupational therapist in town. I would wake up early, put wood in the stove because it had burned down by then and was getting cold, and drive nine miles to work, where I took a shower and groomed before starting the day.
Tom had a few temporary jobs. When he was not working for others, he would fur-trap, log, and ice-fish. In the other seasons, we grew and harvested our own vegetables, hunted for meat, and lived off the land as much as we could. It was surprising to me that, without TV or other distractions, we were never bored. In any season, our days were always full with simple tasks for survival, and once the chores were done, we would take long hikes or cross-country ski in the woods.
We lived in the cabin for two and a half years. When our first daughter was born, it became clear to us that we wouldn't find the kind of work and careers we were hoping for. There are many stories to tell about this experience. (Maybe that will be my next book.) But suffice to say, I didn't know at the time how it would shape my life and career path. Looking back, the main takeaway was that we both realized how little was needed for happiness. We didn't have many material goods simply because there was no place to put them. Going forward into my life, I always had the confidence that a simple life is just fine, and it shaded the way I looked at overstimulated, overstressed lifestyles.
I am an occupational therapist. This educational background is significant to my final story because of the lens through which occupational therapists view the world. We view people and their quality of life by whether or not they are able to engage in everyday occupations or other activities that bring meaning and satisfaction to their lives. Being able to do what we want to do in life is as powerful as taking medication, eating nutritiously, or exercising. The ability to do is fundamental to dignity, self-worth, and life fulfillment. Of course, when people have barriers that prevent this important doing, such as mental or physical disabilities, then occupational therapists help them find ways to remove those barriers or create other ways to do what they want to do. You will see in this book how doing is one of the foundations for living a balanced life.
After we moved from the cabin to the Twin Cities, I took advantage of the opportunity to go back to school for a graduate degree in public health on a part-time basis while growing our family. Public health stretched my focus from individual health to community or societal health. I began to examine lifestyles and stress and discovered how political, economic, and social structures influenced our choices and affected our health and well-being. At the time I was a mother of three. I was working part time, taking graduate courses, and remaining active in the neighborhood. I was also grieving my mother's unexpected and early death.
I was interested in women's roles and finding out how women were coping with all the demands on their time. How do they find the balance between just the right amount of activities to remain stimulated and interested in their lives and way too much activity, a lifestyle that puts them at risk for illness? Right in the middle of this period, I must have been stressed enough to significantly lower my immune response because, at a healthy age of thirty-three, I got shingles. Apparently a by-product of chicken pox, the virus sits dormant until your immune response is unable to suppress it. Stress suppresses the immune response, and we get sick.
When mixing a public health perspective with an occupational therapy lens, I began to wonder about preventing illness and disability through healthy lifestyles. Lifestyles are the configuration of daily activities that we create for ourselves; the mix of activities chosen may be healthy or not. I had the opportunity to experience two very different lifestyles, both with their own challenges and rewards. The configuration of daily activities I had when living in the cabin consisted of chores for survival. We worked to meet our daily needs. The rewards were immediate, having warm water or adequate heat. The challenges were plenty, such as surviving in the cold and darkness, and it certainly felt stressful at times. The configuration of activities when living in town, raising small children, working, and going to school, consisted of caring for others and trying to squeeze in time for myself without anyone noticing. The rewards were very meaningful but not always immediate. The challenges were constant, and stress was often high.
I thought deeply about how I was living my life and what I was doing from day to day. I wondered if one lifestyle was healthier than another. Is it important to have a balance between activities that meet your own needs and others'? If such a balance of activities would be best, what does that look like?
Fast-forward a few years. I am on the faculty of...
