Life Lesson Number I

I have always wanted a pet, something to take care of and pamper, something to call my own and to demonstrate how responsible I had become. At the age of ten, this realization came over me, and during the summer of 1975, I decided that I should ask my parents for a pet. I know my father wouldn't entertain the thought, so being a skillful negotiator, I decided that my mother was the better person that I should target in order to realize my dream. This was the first time I recall ever planning for something. This brings me to my first lesson:

For you to get what you want out of life, you need to do some planning to determine the best approach that you should use.

Don't simply jump in and start taking actions with the hope that you will be successful. Take some time to create a plan. If you need help, then get an expert to help you. In my case, all my friends, who had successfully asked and gotten pets from their parents, were my experts. Hopefully, you will notice I didn't ask my friends who didn't have pets or who asked and was refused to have a pet. The same goes for you. If you want to be successful, find someone who has successfully achieved what you have set your mind to and learn from them. If you have to pay them for their expertise, then do so, or find another way to get their help. Throughout my career and life, I have associated myself with persons whom I considered to be experts in their field, and I never blink an eye when I ask for their service and they tell me their fee. I have found out that the more expertise they have, the more they cost and the more I will benefit from them. An expert will help you put together a sound plan and avoid several pitfalls. For you to be successful, create a plan (it doesn't have to be elaborate) and find an expert to help you.

Life Lesson Number II

Identify the Persons Critical to Your Success

In developing a plan, I also realized that I had done something that I found to be very critical and applicable to future negotiations. Although my father was the ultimate decision maker and his buy-in is critical, Momsy was the power behind the throne, so once she agrees, then Dad would go right along with the decision (even though he would be screaming bloody hell that it is the wrong thing to do). This brings me to my second life lesson:

To be successful, you need to identify the persons or institutions that are critical to your success.

During your planning, take the time to identify the person(s) who are critical in determining whether or not you will be successful. A mistake a lot of people make is to identify the person with the assigned power as the one that they need. Oftentimes (especially in the case of my mom and dad) this is not the case. Usually, there is someone who has some influence over the decision maker. Take the time to identify whether or not this person exists so that you don't waste time negotiating and trying to convince the wrong person or persons. If you do this one step, you will be far more successful. Try it!

Life Lesson Number III

Ask for What You Want

Having decided that my mother was the target of my request, I proceeded, over several days, to ask her for my pet. I did this several times per day until I became very annoying—meaning, I was relentless. I was told no several times, but I still persisted, determined that I was going to get a pet. I gave several reasons why I needed one and, in each instance, was told the reasons were not good enough for me to get a pet. Eventually, I reached the point where I was giving up and was overly surprised when my mother finally agreed. She said I could have a baby chicken—a chick! I finally got what I have been asking for, a pet! This brings me to my third life lesson:

To be successful, you must always ask for what you want.

I fail to understand why people don't ask for what they want. Could it be because of false pride, embarrassment, fear of being rejected, or worse? Oftentimes at work, persons complain about missed promotions and other favorable opportunities at work or in life that has passed them. When I ask if they had asked that they be granted these favorable positions, almost 100 percent of the time, they answered no! For some strange reason, it appears that they believe that it is the responsibility of the benefactor to have a telepathic connection with them so that their request can be known and granted. Sometimes they claim that their past actions had implied that they wanted the desired outcome, so the persons handing out the favor should have discerned what they wanted and give it to them. I have one word for these people—stupid! It is often said that "the squeaky wheel gets the grease." This is always true. If I didn't constantly ask for my pet, I wouldn't have gotten one. So if you want something, then ask for it. Another thing I found rather peculiar is that many persons fear rejection and so fail to ask for what they want. They fear that they will be told no. A simple solution to this is to get used to hearing no. Start asking for things that you want for which people may tell you no. Get used to hearing it! People are not rejecting you; they are simply communicating that what you have asked for is not within their power to give, or there are other factors that you have to satisfy before they can grant your request, or your request is just not possible. Being told no can nevertheless be a daunting experience and can invoke several uncontrolled emotions for the inexperienced person, so I recommend that you start your no experiment with your immediate family first and very slowly broaden your sphere of requests to include other people. Of course, do not flippantly go and randomly ask for stupid things. Ask for something that you want, but there is a high risk that you may not get it. For example, whenever I see an item on sale that I want, I oftentimes ask if it is possible that I can get a further reduction in the sale price based on any possible reason I can muster up at the moment of request. I am still amazed when they answer "Yes, I can give an additional discount." Try it! Ask for what you want, and if you believe you have a reason why you should get what you have asked for, then state the reason as well. It works for me! I have been surprised many times when people say yes to my requests.

Life Lesson Number IV

I got my pet and named her Rosie. I...