This book is about a journey. Every one of us is on a journey that leads us into a labyrinth. The roads we travel on are not always straight; they have curves, bumps, and cracks, and travel is not easy. Even so, we continue on that road, trusting that it will lead us to someplace that answers the questions we hold. Once we get there, we understand why the path was not straight. The detours that we took were our greatest learning lessons. My journey is one of self-love. Once I started to appreciate who I was, my life began to change. I stopped pushing against my brick wall, which was, in my case, being born with cerebral palsy and fighting it for as long as I can remember. Accepting that I have cerebral palsy has enabled my life to evolve; I became humble and empowered and began to understand love. What is your journey? Has it been a straight road or a meandering one? Reflect on that for a moment. See your truth as you read through the pages of this book, and find your "aha" moment to lead you to your own empowerment.
The Little Engine That Did It
By Richard John Tscherne, Anita Misra-PressBalboa Press
Copyright © 2013 Dr. Richard John Tscherne
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-8404-1Contents
Introduction, xvii,
I Just Couldn't Wait, 1,
Where Am I Now? Is This the Place?, 9,
Transitions, 19,
Look Mom, No Hands!, 22,
The First and Last Dance, 26,
Learning to Fly, 30,
Leaving my Cocoon, 40,
My Brain is Just a Little Slanted, 47,
My Home Away From Home and Other Adventures, 49,
Becoming a Master?, 54,
Working For a State of Confusion, 60,
Gonna Be a PHed, 67,
Women are Good Teachers and Other Lessons Learned, 75,
Miss Tina, 83,
Will I Ever Get Off of This Treadmill?, 98,
Woo-hoo, I Think?, 105,
A Feeling of Emptiness, Not a Magic Bullet, 111,
Is The Circle Complete and New Destinations To Explore?, 115,
Paint drying on the walls, 124,
About the Author, 131,
CHAPTER 1
I Just Couldn't Wait ...
When I think back on my life, truly it can be said thatmiracles do happen. I was born 3 months premature onApril 8th, 1962. I guess I was impatient to get started. Iwas in an incubator for six weeks before I could breathe on my own,and then in the premature nursery for an additional three months.Years later when I was old enough to understand, my mother woulddescribe the events of that day to me. At 9:30 pm on every birthday shewould say, "When you were born, you were so small, the priests gaveyou last rites twice. You were in an incubator for 3 months and finallybaptized at 6 months". If you were to talk to my parents they would saymy survival was due to medical science. However, if you were to talk tomy grandparents who are very religious, they would say it is because Iam a Sunday child and I am a miracle of God.
My childhood was happy, my mother did her utmost to see that myneeds were met and that I grew up as well adjusted as any other child.At around the age of two my parents realized that physically I was notdeveloping as quickly as my peers. When most children were crawling,climbing, standing, and getting into things, I had difficulty just sitting.They decided to have me evaluated to find out if there were any problemsand determine if anything could be done. I remember being taken tomany specialists who poked and prodded me without any explanation ofmy symptoms. Undaunted, my parents continued having me evaluateduntil I was finally diagnosed with cerebral palsy, a condition caused by anabnormality or disruption in brain development, usually due to prematurebirth. In my case my coordination, balance, and walking were affected. Aman of science for the first time gave my parents hope for the future andbecame a pivotal figure for me. His name was Dr. Monroe Schneider.
First, Dr. Schneider got me fitted for braces to assist me in walking.I remember them very well. They were brown, went up to my ankles andsqueaked when I walked. I was four years old when I first walked. Myfather and I went to visit my Nana in Queens. My father put me on hisshoulders as we went up the stairs to her apartment that always smelledof moth balls. My father asked if she wanted to see something that Icould do, he then asked me if I wanted to walk for her, and I said yes.At this point she left the kitchen for a few minutes and came back andsat down on a chair. She had in her hand a gold coin and she said to me,"Richard, if you walk to me, I will give this coin to you". My father wasbehind me, he didn't hold my hand but I could feel him. My eyes werefixed on my grandmother and all I wanted to do was show her what Icould do. This walk started tentatively, my first steps were unsure, but asI continued, my confidence got better and I could see my Nana's smile,she was so happy. I remember the hug she gave me; I felt so much lovefrom her. I still have that gold coin.
I have many such pleasant memories of my childhood. I remembermy father's Pontiac Sky Chief four-door car. I loved that car; it wasbrown and white with a beige interior. It had leather seats and I canremember being with my father, playing with the radio and the leatherbuttons on the seats. He used to let me sit on his lap and let me steerthe car. I thought I was driving, but my legs were too short to touch thepedals. My father and I spent a lot of time driving in this car, particularlywhen I began physical therapy. I would have to go to Brooklyn weeklyto learn how to sit up and then walk. On one such excursion, my fatherlooked at the car next to ours and told me that it was Sandy Kofax, thepitcher for the Dodgers. I remember waving and smiling at him. Ofcourse my favorite baseball player was Mickey Mantle who played forthe New York Yankees. My father liked the Yankees so, of course, Iliked them too.
I really didn't like going to Brooklyn. Not only would I need tobe evaluated for an extended period of time by the doctor, but my legswould be stretched in positions that hurt. I remember being examinedby numerous doctors who would give their opinions on what the mostappropriate treatment would be. I felt very popular and special as I sat ona table wearing a hospital gown and Dr. Schneider would introduce meto the various physicians. We did this for about two years every coupleof months, and after that time, Dr. Schneider met with my parents todiscuss my first set of corrective surgeries. I remember it was aroundHalloween in October, the leaves were changing colors. My motherexplained to me that one day I would be going to the hospital for alittle while because I would be having an operation to help me walk.Dr. Schneider would be there and he would be the one who would helpme. I felt good about this, because I liked Dr. Schneider and I knew hecared and wouldn't hurt me. I used to love to go and see him. He wouldcome into the examining room always with a smile, dressed in a whitelab coat and always had on a bow tie.
The night before my surgery, an orderly came to shave my legs. Ithought this was very strange and wondered why he was doing this.The following morning Miss Bailey came to me and said I was going tohave a wonderful journey. First they would take me to a room and puta mask on my face and ask me to breathe in and out. This would takeme to a magical place, I would have wonderful dreams, then I wouldwake up and be back in my bed again, and the surgery would be over.She said when I was allowed to eat again she would bring me CaptainCrunch cereal because I told her it was my favorite. Next, they put me ona stretcher with squeaky wheels. I couldn't see anyone but I rememberlooking at the fluorescent lights in the ceiling as they passed over myhead. I remember counting to myself, I think I got to 25. Then suddenly,these big doors opened and there was a strong antiseptic smell in a hugeroom. The people around me were dressed in funny green uniforms andlooked like Martian's. I then heard Dr. Schneider's familiar voice. Icouldn't see his face because it was covered with a green mask but I couldsee his big eyes. I was a little frightened but remember being reassuredbecause Dr. Schneider was there.
I asked if I could hold his hand and remember squeezing it tightas they placed the mask over my face. I drifted off to sleep and recallhaving a dream. I felt as if I was floating in the air and as I looked down,I saw a group of people standing over a body. I felt as if my back waspressing against the ceiling of the room and at a closer look I saw tomy amazement that the person lying on the operating table was me! Iremember passing through the ceiling and floating in the clouds. NextI was in a boat, it was hot...
