day 1

SPECIAL-CARE INSTRUCTIONS

I am a freak about my clothes. Oh — not SO much about the brands I wear but about how they're laundered. It matters so much to me that I always read the care instructions before toting any garment to the dressing room. Weird, I know.

But here's why: I want my clothes to fit well and I want them to wear well. After too many of my garments were stretched, shrunk, or damaged at the dry cleaner, I determined that the best way to ensure their fit and longevity was to take care of them myself.

Most of my clothes have care instructions that call for washing on the gentle cycle and then hanging or laying them flat to dry. A few garments can be fluffed in the dryer on a low setting. I take these instructions very seriously, and the time investment has paid off. I kid you not — I have owned and worn certain classic designer pieces for years, and they look brand-new because I take special care of them.

I want you to think of yourself as the most beautifully designed pair of slacks walking a New York runway. I'm thinking Stella McCartney's Chellini trousers. Yes, you're pricey — $1,375 last time I checked. You hang perfectly — no bunching, no binding, and — oh — check out that rear! You are the perfect size and length, making legs look long and lean. You're the most gorgeous, intense color ever found, and your fabric is divine; you are soft and comfortable and you never wrinkle.

But imagine that instead of being washed on the gentle cycle in cool water, you get thrown in a tub of hot water with an orange hoodie on a cycle spinning at 1,800 RPMs. Instead of being hung gently to drip-dry, you are placed in the dryer with a pair of sneakers and a few pairs of Levi's 501 jeans. Do you come out looking refreshed and renewed? Of course not! You come out of the wash looking completely worn out! This is no way to be treated; you deserve better than this.

You are the most beautifully made and priceless person in the world to your family, and you must be given special care. So over the next eighteen days, I'm taking over your laundry. Ha! Not really. But I do hope to encourage you to remember that you are important and that to last a lifetime, you must take special care of yourself as you consciously consider those things that will refresh your mind and body in order to renew your spirit.

I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. ... You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever. PSALM 16:8, 11

I can't believe how much I enjoy writing about laundry. If this devotional thing doesn't work out, I think I'll try my hand at a jingle for Tide.

day 2

WHAT YOU LEFT AT THE HOSPITAL

Shauna and Adam were completely incredulous the day they brought our granddaughter, Ava, their seven-day-old preemie, home from the hospital. As Steve and I helped them to the car, Adam looked at me, eyes wide, and said, "I can't believe they just let us walk out of there with her." Yep. No manual. No contract. No warranty. Just a real live human being swaddled in a fuzzy pink blanket. Good luck!

Driving home with a brand-spanking-new kid is relatively simple. But keeping any new mom's identity intact while she learns to be Mommy to one, or now to two or more, is something else.

In Kathryn Stockett's book The Help, protagonist Aibileen is a wise domestic who understands that her most important role is shaping the mind, heart, and soul of the child she has charge over. Aibileen knows that what we are taught to believe about ourselves is what we become. As she holds the little blonde girl on her lap, she recites the most important nine words in the saga:

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important."

I would like to recite those nine words to you because somewhere between the epidural and the healing of your episiotomy, I suspect you may have forgotten this.

You don't just act nice — you have an incredible heart. You are thoughtful, you are generous, you are kind to your core. Your light shines brightly on those around you.

You're not just lucky at what you pull off — you are amazing! Your mind is open, your intellect grows each day, you hold the equivalent of a doctorate in family management. And you may be doing it while juggling a forty-plus-hour-a-week job outside the home!

You're not "just" Mom — you are the glue of your family. You idealize, you develop, and you manage the future influences and leaders of our country. Mom, no one I know has the power to impact change for our world as much as you.

You may rarely hear these words because your kids (if they're over the age of nine) might think you're as dumb as a doorknob, your husband is still distracted with his own post-delivery issues, and those of us who benefit from your kindness, intellect, and leadership forget it is you who hold the keys to our future civilization.

As he thinks in his heart, so is he. proverbs 23:7, nkjv

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important." Now, just ponder that as you sit in the car-pool line.

day 3

SOMETHING'S GONNA BLOW

If you didn't get the chance to build an erupting volcano when you were in grade school, never fear, your kids will probably get the assignment. That will give you the opportunity either to create one again or to enjoy a virgin voyage into the world of volcano making. Either way, you'll be up all hours of the night building the base, dripping in papier-mâché, and testing the explosive recipe. When everything comes together, it's a blast — unlike some of our personal eruptions.

How and why do the children of our wombs elicit such exasperation? Because we're a walking, talking science-fair volcano recipe ready to blow at any minute:

We're emotionally invested = ½ c. water

We're physically drained = ¼ c. vinegar

We're overscheduled = ¼ c. dish detergent

We're spiritually bankrupt = red food coloring

And they're sinners = THE BAKING SODA

This is not a good combination.

To neutralize our recipe for disaster, let's look at what we could take out of the mix. Since we carried these human beings inside our bodies or perhaps stayed up nights pacing, awaiting word that our baby had been born, it's likely we'll stay emotionally invested in them until the day we die. My kids are in their thirties, and I am as deeply invested in their welfare today as I was when I found out that I was pregnant with the first one and that my second one was awaiting my adoption.

This leaves us with the next three things in our concoction for explosion: physical exhaustion, a crammed schedule, and spiritual bankruptcy. Each of these is within our control. When was your last Sabbath? Stop laughing. I'm serious. When did you last take time to rest? You might not get a full day to yourself until your kids leave for college, but that doesn't mean you can't take at least sixty minutes once a week right now. You have to fit rest into your life. And when you take that time, do something you love or luxuriate in doing nothing at all. Embrace it mentally and emotionally as your Sabbath for...