WHY SERVE OTHERS?

For those who want to save their lives will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it.

—Mark 8:35

"Why would I want to do that?" Brad asked, at the prospect of getting up early on Saturday morning to join others from the church to prepare lunch for the homeless at a soup kitchen. "I've got my own things going on. I need time for myself and my family. And besides, what difference is it going to make, anyway?"

I've heard those questions spoken by others, and to be honest, I wrestle with them myself. They are not questions of planning and time management, but of spirit, focus, and purpose.

We live to ourselves. It is comfortable, safe, and natural to do so. We take care of our own. Instinct. Self-preservation. Love of family. Cocooning. Enjoying the fruits of our labor. These are important, and we don't need unearned guilt for wanting to rest on the weekend.

Each of us has a whole world of private concerns, personal passions, hobbies, entertainments, family responsibilities, and work obligations. The circle in which we live, work, and play is small, but intense, and important. And it is ours. Why give the time or make the effort to reach beyond our world to serve other people? And would it make any real difference, anyway?

Since time immemorial, prophets and religious leaders, philosophers and poets, reformers and civic leaders have taught the importance of helping those in need and directing our lives outward to make a difference in the world. They remind us to act with kindness, gentleness, and self-control in our everyday lives in the way we regard strangers. They teach us to interrupt our routines and suffer inconvenience to aid those who are in temporary distress, to tend the injured, comfort the bereaved, feed the hungry. They call us to more deliberate efforts to relieve suffering, protect the vulnerable, and respond to the human trauma of natural disasters with compassion and assistance. They prompt us to address social change, to confront unjust systems, to direct resources toward eliminating disease, and to hold purveyors of violence to accountability. A critical key to a life that is rich in purpose and that, in the end, we find satisfying, involves serving other people and making a positive difference in the world around us. But why is that? Why should we serve others? Why help?

This ethical consensus conflicts with other messages and myths that pervade our culture. "Look out for number one." "Love yourself first." "If we all pursue our own self-interests, the collective results help everyone thrive." "Helping people in need feeds dependency and squelches initiative." "It's survival of the fittest." "Taking care of me, my own family, and my own community comes first." "People are responsible for their own misfortunes." "Trying to help everyone takes us all down, and sinks the lifeboat." "It's not my problem." "One person's efforts make no real difference at all."

These attitudes influence us, even if we seldom articulate them so pointedly. Sometimes we act as if we believe that if we merely focus on our own personal circle—our work, our family, our homes—that the great issues of human suffering do not impact us, and that we have no role or responsibility. To avoid, deny, ignore, or blame others for the causes of suffering helps us live a carefree, less anxious life.

"Most people, given the choice between having a better world, or a better place within the world as it is, would choose the latter." This cynical analysis of the human condition, attributed to Ralph W. Sockman, captures the magnitude of the issue. Our energy naturally goes to making a better place for ourselves.

Society convinces us that this is the best way to care for ourselves and our families.

So, why serve others? Why work for a better world?

First, some people serve others out of a sense of duty, obligation, and responsibility. Helping others is imperative, and they serve others without regard to the personal cost or inconvenience. If the church needs volunteers at the soup kitchen, they show up. If a community agency needs coats for the poor, they dig through their closets and give what they can. When a hurricane devastates coastal homes, they contribute generously. Being part of the church team means they wear the uniform, show up for practice, and offer their best, and some become quite skilled at the tasks of helping others.

Imagine how it would change your life to take Jesus' commands seriously and to cultivate such trust that when Jesus says "do it," you would respond with complete and utter obedience. Jesus tells us to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the imprisoned, welcome the stranger. Many people take those words at face value, and offer their best and highest, trusting that whether they enjoy the work or not, these are the right things to do. Following the imperatives of Christ becomes a way of life they adopt whole-heartedly. I've known lay prison chaplains, volunteers at homeless shelters, tutors of underprivileged children, directors of medical clinics, and workers with addicts for whom their initial motivation was simple and obvious: "Jesus tells me to do it, and so I do it."

Whatever inner spiritual work, personal passion, or satisfaction they enjoy are after-the-fact results of the activity rather than motivations that initially draw them in. Never underestimate the impact of people motivated by duty.

Second, there are those who serve because helping others contributes to the social fabric of human life. Living in this world requires an unspoken social contract that requires me to help you when you need it, trusting that you will help me when I need it.

Serving greases the machinery of social interaction and creates a sustainable mutuality that is essential for co-existence. If I care for you and you care for me, then both of us find ourselves cared for.

This motivation surfaces after catastrophes and natural disasters. People imagine their own home flooded, their own house on fire, their own school struck by violence, and they think of how devastating that would be and how deeply helpful the community would become for them. They gather around, and offer their best, even across great distances. However, the more remote the need, the more difficult it is to see the interconnections and the reciprocities that motivate courageous action to help. While I may be able to imagine my home burning down and temporarily depending upon other people, I may not be able to see myself as a homeless addict living on the streets of the inner city, or as a refugee starving in a camp on a foreign desert and so I may not see the connection between their lives and mine.

Third, some people discover that serving provides immeasurable personal satisfaction for themselves. They like the way it feels to know that the work they have done, a project they have sponsored, or a policy they have supported has truly relieved suffering, or improved the conditions of people in need. As one person says, "I like myself better and I'm happier when I help others in concrete ways." Making a difference...