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Not Meant to Be

"One man's true life story"By Paul M Umbaugh III

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2009 Paul M Umbaugh III
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4389-6326-6

Chapter One

Not Meant to be ...

This is a true story about a man who has always tried to do what is right, but somehow, bad luck or misfortune, always seems to find him just when things seem to be going good for him.

We will start off from what he can remember from an early age up to adulthood. A lot of this will also come from what was relayed to him by family, friends, and hospital records, as the last part of his adulthood; he suffered through a very unfortunate medical mishap and has short-term memory problems as a result.

He was born in the State of New Jersey. He appeared to be a very healthy baby boy, however, unbeknownst to his family and doctors at the time, his urethra tubes were too big, as well as his "manhood". His urethra tubes were knotted up as a result, which caused urine to back up in his kidneys. This was slowly killing his kidneys, a condition called hydroneprosis. This was not caught until he was four years old.

At the age of four, he underwent his first major surgery. The doctors had to go in and try to untangle the tubes leading into the bladder from the kidneys. This was a very extensive surgery and the doctors advised this little boys parents that he only had a 50-50 chance of surviving the surgery, however, without the surgery, their little boy would die of kidney failure once they shut down. By the grace of our Lord, he made it through the surgery.

During the next few years, this little boy continued to get sick, especially during the winter months. The doctors advised his parents that they should move to a warmer climate. His parents agreed on moving to Florida. This little boy's doctor in New Jersey located a specialist in Clearwater, Florida. His family (mom, dad, four sisters and him), all moved to Florida in January of 1969. They settled in New Port Richey.

After moving to Florida, the little boy's parents made contact with the specialist in Clearwater who wanted to the little boy to come on down and seek treatment. After making contact with this doctor, the little boy was admitted to a hospital for further tests. He spent a couple of months in the hospital undergoing a series of tests and procedures, it was determined that this little boy needed to undergo yet another major surgery. It was determined that the first doctors in New Jersey messed up making things even worse for this little boy.

The boys parents were advised that he desperately needed the surgery. They were advised that their little boy only had a 25% chance of surviving the surgery, but without it, he would not survive. The doctors were not able to say how long he could live without the surgery. The little boy's parents decided that 25% was better than no chance at all.

This little boy had the surgery, and by the grace of our Lord once again, he made it through. His parents were told that one kidney was only working at 1/2 capacity and the other was not fully functional either. They were told that their little boy should not participate in contact sports and should avoid the cold weather. This did not set too well with the little boy's father, as he was the only son that this man had.

This was the beginning of what had already been a hard life for this little boy to start getting harder. The little boy's father had been somewhat of an athlete, boxing in the US Navy and playing baseball, and he wanted his son to do the same. Since he (the boys father) now had a son who was suppose to avoid this type of activity, it was about to be the beginning of a physical and emotional battle for this young boy.

The little boy recovered from the surgery and started working at the age of 9 in his grandfather's grocery store. He learned how to receive grocery orders, stock shelves, run the cash register, etc....

The little boy also began to do yard work (cutting grass, pulling weeds, etc..) for neighbors, as well as worked as a laborer for his father, carrying blocks, mixing cement, striking and floating walls, etc ..., to help earn money for his parents to help pay for medical bills, etc ...

The little boy remembers that starting from about the age of 9 until he was about 17; he was continuously physically and emotionally abused by his father. His father wanted "boys", "big boys", not "sissy - 'little wimpy boys". His father would constantly come home from work in a bad mood and find some reason to punch, slap or backhand this little boy.

The little boy was constantly getting black eyes, chipped teeth, swollen face (busted lip), bruised about his body while being called a: wimp, wussy, momma boy, etc.... The little boy would dare not cry or the beating would not stop. He was always having to come up with excuses as to what happened to him to avoid further punishment.

The little boy continued to grow up playing street football, baseball, basketball (while he could), all while doing odd jobs to help support his family. He was a skinny little boy, but well defined and strong (due most likely to the abuse that he has suffered). He had a very strong will to survive and have children of his own someday, when he grew up, so that he could love and treat them as they should be treated, in a very loving manner and not like a punching bag or an animal, but like human beings.

At the age of 15, the boy obtained his first "real job" at a popular grocery store. He rapidly went from a bag-boy position to a stock-man and ended up running the scrub crew (cleaning floors, entire store, etc..). He was a very dependable and trustworthy person. He continued to work at the store throughout his high school days, paying his parents a portion of his earnings for the previous medical bills, room, board, etc....

Whenever he wasn't working, he would stay at the school and mess around with the football team (field punts, catch passes, etc...). His high school physical education coach, who was also the head football coach, wanted him to play football for the school team because of how talented he was. However, he was not allowed too, as he needed to work to pay his parents. This was his fathers doing.

This young man started college part time on his own. His last day of the 11th grade, was his first day of college. He took courses at college when he could afford too, while still working, attending high school, and doing volunteer work at the Tampa V.A. hospital. His grandparents and mother volunteered at the hospital also.

He ended up volunteering in the physical and occupational therapy units at the hospital. He was able to meet and help with the rehab of a lot of soldiers who were wounded in Viet Nam.

This young man graduated high school in 1979, just turning 18 the month previous. He continued working at the grocery store and volunteering at the V.A. hospital. He met what he thought was the love of his life while working at the grocery store with her in 1980.

His lifelong ambition was to be a police officer. He went to the house of the then sheriff, and introduced himself and asked if he could get him to sponsor him for the police academy. He obtained sponsorship from the sheriff and attended the police academy while still continuing to work full time.

One night, when he was 18, the young man came home what his father thought was a little late (10pm), and his father went to punch him in the face. This little boy, who was now grown up, finally had enough, although he had respect for...