“Your only job is to help your players be better.” That single idea had a huge impact on Tony Dungy when he heard it from one of his earliest mentors, and it led him to develop the successful leadership style so admired by players and coaches throughout the NFL. Now, a storied career and a Super Bowl victory later, Tony Dungy is sharing his unique leadership philosophy with you. In The Mentor Leader, Tony reveals what propelled him to the top of his profession and shows how you can apply the same approach to virtually any area of your life. In the process, you’ll learn the seven keys of mentoring leadership—and why they’re so effective; why mentor leadership brings out the best in people; how a mentor leader recovers from mistakes and handles team discipline; and the secret to getting people to follow you and do their best for you without intimidation tactics. As a son, a football player, and a winning coach, Tony has always learned from others on his path to success. Now you can learn to succeed for your team, family, or organization while living out your values—by becoming a mentor leader.
THE MENTOR LEADER
By TONY DUNGY NATHAN WHITAKERTYNDALE HOUSE PUBLISHERS, INC.
Copyright © 2010 Tony Dungy
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4143-3804-0 Contents
Foreword by Jim Caldwell............................................................................viiAcknowledgments.....................................................................................xiIntroduction........................................................................................xiiiCHAPTER 1: The Mandate of a Mentor Leader: Focus on Significance....................................1CHAPTER 2: The Mind-Set of a Mentor Leader: "It's Not about Me".....................................19CHAPTER 3: The Maturity of a Mentor Leader: A Look Within...........................................45CHAPTER 4: The Marks of a Mentor Leader: Characteristics That Matter................................67CHAPTER 5: The Moments of a Mentor Leader: Influence and Impact.....................................99CHAPTER 6: The Model of a Mentor Leader: Living the Message.........................................123CHAPTER 7: The Means of a Mentor Leader: Maximizing Team Performance................................139CHAPTER 8: The Methods of a Mentor Leader: The Seven E's of Enhancing Potential.....................165CHAPTER 9: The Measure of a Mentor Leader: Building Other Lives of Impact...........................193Q & A with Tony Dungy...............................................................................205About the Authors...................................................................................229
Chapter One
THE MANDATE OF A MENTOR LEADER: FOCUS ON SIGNIFICANCE
You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was. OLD IRISH PROVERB
On January 24, 2010, as I sat in the stands at Lucas Oil Stadium, watching the Indianapolis Colts celebrate their victory over the New York Jets in the AFC Championship Game, I couldn't help but reflect on my relationships with the five men who now stood on the podium at midfield, handing the championship trophy from one man to the next-owner Jim Irsay, general manager Bill Polian, head coach Jim Caldwell, and team captains Peyton Manning and Gary Brackett.
I felt a measure of satisfaction that day, knowing that each of these leaders-along with the rest of the team-had committed to a common vision and a common goal at the beginning of the season. The goal, of course, was to win a championship, but along with that, everyone was concerned with raising the performance of all the others, with helping them become better players, better coaches, and better men. Each man had a different role and responsibility in accomplishing that goal, but they had all been united in purpose and in their pursuit of excellence. And now they were able to celebrate their success together.
Not only were these men leaders in a positional sense within the organization-and thus were enjoying the team's success-but they had also embraced the principles of mentor leadership and were leaders in a relational sense as well. If they hadn't established the types of relationships they had with each other and with the other coaches and team members, but had only counted wins and losses, they would not have had the same level of positive influence on each other, and the season would not have been as successful. But I knew these men were good, grounded people, whose desire in everything they did was to make each other better-which, in my view, is a more accurate measure of success than wins and losses. It is also a defining characteristic of a mentor leader.
Unity of purpose and a desire to make other people better must start at the top if these goals are going to ripple through an entire organization. But, unfortunately, the opposite is equally true. I think we've all seen examples of the head coach who sits down at the table in the media room after the game, still basking in the afterglow of the big win. Behind him is the backdrop with the team logo and the corporate sponsor of the day, and as the coach answers the reporters' questions, he uses words such as we, us, and our, but what he really means is I, me, and my. And everyone on his team knows it-from the assistant coaches, who are often pushed aside or belittled in practice; to the players, who incur the coach's wrath if they do not perform exactly as expected; to the members of the support staff, who are treated as less than human; to the families, who are not allowed anywhere near the workplace for fear they'll cause a loss of focus-or worse, that their presence might reorient the team's priorities away from winning games. After a while, people see through the talk when it doesn't line up with the walk.
When a team wins or a business is successful, the families of the players or the workers may be excited for the moment; but when they count the cost, I wonder how many would say that the temporary accomplishment outweighs all the memories missed or the bonds not formed. Or, worse yet, maybe they have been programmed over time to believe that the all-encompassing sacrifice of family, community, time-or anything other than what it takes to win games, close sales, or build a business-is an accepted part of life, simply what is required to achieve the number one priority: winning.
Sadly, such "accomplishment" without significance will ultimately prove to be meaningless and without lasting value. Mentor leaders insist on more and define success in a much more robust and well-rounded way.
MENTOR LEADERS PUT PEOPLE FIRST
Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. ROMANS 12:2
Shortsighted leadership focuses primarily on the bottom line. In football, it's wins and losses and playoff berths. In business, it's quarterly profits, shareholder equity, and sales targets. Not that these things aren't important-they are. But when they become the primary focus of a business or a team, they inevitably result in an organization that is out of balance. Leaders whose definition of success depends on such a short-term focus-and by short-term I mean temporal, noneternal-will one day wake up to discover they've missed out on what is truly important in life, namely, meaningful relationships.
When life in the workplace is all about results and outcomes, it's easy to adopt the same mind-set in other venues as well. Thus, we have parents who scream at the umpire at Little League games, or browbeat their kids into getting straight A's, or harp on the players they coach in Pee Wee football about being "mentally tough." At home, in the limited time left for family, they're tempted to criticize if the house isn't just so or to cram in everything they want their spouses or kids to know, instead of taking time to build the kind of family relationships that God intends.
In our society, whether we'll admit it or not, the prevailing attitude is that the ends justify the means. We tell ourselves that "quality time" can make up for a lack of quantity time and that as long as we achieve whatever temporary, worldly goal we're pursuing, all is well. Just keep climbing. We think our spouses and kids need us first to be successful, and then we'll have time to be an important part of their lives.
We...
