Meet the Misfitz! Some are odd, some mischievous, some lovable and some are just down-right unlucky. However you see them, these likable characters take you on a journey filled with humor, wonder, mischief and even young love through their innocent eyes, inquisitive minds and endearing hearts. "The Misfitz" is a children's book of humorous poems and playful illustrations highlighting the way kids today think and see the world. Whether you're five, fifteen or thirty-five, "The Misfitz" is written to fill the hearts of young readers with laughter and relief that there are other kids out there just like them as well as feelings of nostalgia and love for parents, teachers and anyone who just remembers being a kid.

THE MISFITZ

A BOOK OF POEMSBy CHERI CARTER

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2011 Cheri Carter
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4567-5891-2

Chapter One

        The Great Pirate

    I'm a pirate, can't you tell?
    I have the hat, the patch,
    The yell.... Aarrgh!
    Without a ship,
    I cannot sail.
    But never fear,
    I will prevail!
    I'll burry me treasure
    Under this, under that.
    And without this here map,
    Mom may never find that cat.
    I will flood all the tubs
    And create my own sea,
    I'll shout from the roof
    How pirate life is for me!

    Oh, the great pirate I will be.


    Einstein's Theory

    "Sometimes I hear voices but I know I'm not crazy.
    Sometimes they will laugh or even shout!
    And when they speak, it's real low. It just sounds like a mumble,
    I can't tell what they're talking about.
    Do you think we have ghosts? I don't know what to think.
    I hear them the loudest at night.
    There are thuds and long creeks but during the day it is quiet,
    I wonder if they're afraid of the light.
    Wait! Afraid of the light? What if they are vampires!
    We're too young to die! I'm only four and you're nine!"

    "Oh, calm down, they're not vampires. We live in apartments.
    Those aren't ghosts, they're our neighbors, Einstein!"


    The Writer

    My novel is brilliant. It's going to be a bestseller!
    There's everything you could possibly dream.
    The town it takes place in is mystical and quaint,
    And the people are not quite what they seem.
    This story has it all. You'll laugh and you'll cry,
    There's romance and even a killer!
    My book is so good, they could make it a movie.
    It would be the best comedy thriller!

    So, what do you think? I can't wait for you to read it.
    I'm so excited, this is going to be my hit!
    Things are going to be great, I can see it already.
    Now, I just need to sit down and write it.


    Christina's Wrath

    I have to admit it was all my own fault
    I got beat up on the playground today.
    Everyone knew it was coming, everyone except me,
    Apparently, it was something I said yesterday.
    Her name is Christina,
    She's fast and she's strong.
    How was I supposed to know
    What I said was so wrong?

    I offered her my homework, my sack
    lunch and even my cash!
    Man, that's the last time I point out
    Christina's mustache.


    Funny Valentine

    How embarrassing, I can't believe it.
    Everyone's box is full except mine.
    No candy hearts, no cards or chocolate,
    Not a single valentine.
    This happens to me every year,
    This holiday's so stupid.
    Just once I'd like a Valentine,
    Until then I'll just blame cupid.

    Hey wait now, what's this?
    Is that a Valentine I see?
    Who is it from? There is no name.
    Is it from you to me?

    Wow, my very first Valentine!
    You just made my heart bounce.
    I mean, I know it's out of pity and all,
    But hey, for me that counts.


    My Friend, What

    There's a monster living under my bed,
    We've played together twice.
    He's not mean or evil at all,
    He's actually really quite nice.
    There was a full moon the other night
    And we were all riding in our car.
    As the moon followed me,
    I saw a bright shooting star.
    I closed my eyes and made a wish,
    I may never see one again.
    With my eyes closed tight, believing with all my heart,
    I wished for my very own best friend.

    I awoke the next night to a rustling sound
    Coming from underneath my bed.
    I fell off my mattress and hit the floor hard
    And what I saw there was a head!
    My bed flipped on its side
    As he arose from my floor.
    And with a wink and a smile,
    He let out a soft roar!

    "Where do you come from?" I asked.
    "How did you ever get in?"
    He said, "Why you wished for me silly.
    I'm your very own new best friend"

    I was frightened at first
    But now I'm not anymore.
    He's half dragon, half butterfly
    And half tiger, half boar.

    That's the best I can describe him.
    He's really quite a mutt.
    Wasn't sure just what to call him,
    So I decided to name him What.
    We laugh and play games,
    He even tells funny jokes.
    The hardest part though,
    Is keeping him hidden from my folks.

    Can't take him out in public
    Because quite frankly, he's horrific.
    The next time I make a wish on a star,
    I'll definitely be more specific.


    Under Where?

    That's not where you wear your underwear, Tommy.
    You take that off now
    Before I tell Mommy.
    We're already late and Mom's getting stressed.
    She just hates...