THE PHYSICAL PAIN OF GRIEF

The king was deeply moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept.

—2 Samuel 18:33

Take my hand, Lord. I never imagined that the pain of grief could be so overwhelming. I didn't even know I was capable of such powerful emotions. I get the feeling that the source of my tears is some unexplored cavern, deep within. I've never been in a boxing ring, but I imagine this feeling in my gut, which doubles me over, must be similar to taking a boxer's punch to the stomach. I want to throw up, and I have to remind myself to breathe. I keep thinking, This can't be happening to me.

Come, Lord Jesus; take my hand and steady my step. Amen.

HELP FROM AN ANGEL

Then an angel from heaven appeared to him and gave him strength.

—Luke 22:43

Heavenly Father, my fear is evident in my shaking hands. If I were a tree, I'm afraid I might just shake myself out of the ground and fall. Secure my roots, O Lord. Send an angel to anoint me with strength, as you did for the weeping, bleeding Jesus. Anchor me as I reach deep to grasp your strength and release my fear. Amen.

SUPPORT

"You are those who have stood by me in my trials."

—Luke 22:28

God of comfort, free me from thinking I can make it on my own. Give me the courage to receive the offers of those who wish to stand beside me. Forgive me for pushing them away, denying that I have needs. Help me to find a circle of friends who will not try to fix me or explain death to me, but will simply be with me, absorbing my pain. Amen.

FOUR FRIENDS

Then some people came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. And when they could not bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him; and after having dug through it, they let down the mat on which the paralytic lay.

—Mark 2:3-4

Merciful God, send me four friends who might carry me when I need carrying and listen to me when I need someone to listen. Send me four friends who will pray with me and offer their faith when mine is failing. May their songs rise when mine are silent. Your love through four good friends can deliver me to your healing touch. Amen.

FOR GRIEVING FRIENDS

I remember you always in my prayers.

—Romans 1:9

Loving Savior, today I lift up my friends who are grieving. Give them strength when they feel weak; and when they feel alone in the long chilly night, surround them with a warm blanket of your love and their good memories. Like armor, may this prayer protect them from all harm. May the wind blow their burdens away little by little, so that they experience the freedom of joy once more. I am confident that just one solitary prayer will make a difference in their lives and in mine. Amen.

CONFUSION

[When] the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked ... Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you."

—John 20:19

Almighty Father, I am confused by grief. In a single moment, I first want to be closely held and then I want to be given space to work things out for myself. I have deep feelings of both rage and compassion. Am I going crazy?

O God, speak to me your peace, as you did with your disciples long ago when they were confused and afraid. Give me patience with myself and assure me that time will wash away this confusion. Amen.

USING ANGER AS A WEAPON

A fool gives full vent to anger.

—Proverbs 29:11

Dear God, I feel like a lightning storm, wildly flashing out of control. My eyes are wild with rage. There is electricity running through my veins.

I'm not comfortable with this anger; when I sense it rising, keep me from using it as a weapon, wounding innocent people. Keep me from focusing the rage inward, torturing myself into depression. Help me to develop an anger gauge to monitor and control myself. Amen.

HARNESSING THE GIFT OF ANGER

Then he entered the temple and began to drive out those who were selling things there.

—Luke 19:45

My eyes flash fire like yours did, Jesus, when you entered the Temple. Help me to see my anger as a gift of energy that can be transformed to create something meaningful. May it fuel me to speak out against injustice and to lift up the weak and forgotten. May it help me to create a work of art through words, song, or paint. May it even enable me to help others harness their own anger.

Lord, I don't want to waste this gift on trivial matters; I want to use it to spread your Kingdom. Help me to do so in a loving, useful way. Amen.

FAITH

The LORD is my shepherd.... He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul.

—Psalm 23:1-3

Loving Shepherd, as I walk through dark valleys, give me the patience to simply lie in your green pasture, trusting and waiting to see what gifts you bring me. May a gentle breeze fill my lungs with fresh air and hope. May I drink in your presence from an overflowing cup of living water and feel the healing touch of your oil-anointed hands. Help me to trust, Lord, that there is no need to fear anything that comes toward me, because I can trust in you. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. Amen.

QUESTIONS

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

—Psalm 22:1

Almighty God, like an unpredictable geyser, questions keep shooting into my mind and I shout them to you. Am I being punished? Did I bring this on myself? Why are you so cruel to tease me with...