CHAPTER 1
The MonkeyBrain
If we don't consciously select where we want to go, we go where the unconscious wants us to go. Until we make the unconscious, conscious, it will select our lives and we will just call it fate. So in that regard, most of us are on automatic pilot.
~ Carl Jung
You have heard me mention MonkeyBrain earlier, including the title; and now we will explore the meaning. The MonkeyBrain is a state of mind. It is when the brain is compulsively thinking of a past event that caused emotional pain, such as grief, jealousy, resentment, or pain of any kind. This includes worry, doubt, or fear of the future. The MonkeyBrain shows itself in many ways. This includes our daily interactions with others and ourselves. I will define the MonkeyBrain as me or I, or my story. It's the voice in our head that says: That is mine, I am stronger, I am better, I am smarter, I'm not good enough, or you betrayed me, you did me wrong, you hurt my feelings and on and on. The me or I is also known as the ego. The ego is that voice in our head, and that voice is the MonkeyBrain. Oh, that voice! At times, the voices are very loud and arrogant, and other times soft but painful. It is the internal brain chatter that is always creating an inner dialogue of chaos. This voice is the incessant stream of brain chatter, the memories that the brain recalls in the unconscious. Most neuroscientists agree that the brain is in the unconscious up to 80 percent of the time for most of us. This means that we can be unconscious, operating on autopilot, for most of our day.
As was mentioned in Part I, the main part of our mental processing takes place in the unconscious. The brain shifts from conscious to unconscious any time it can. It is the only way for the brain to catch up on all the work that needs to be done. The brain needs plenty of time to consolidate all of the input, and does its work in the unconscious. It is also when the brain chatter, or what I call the MonkeyBrain, comes out full force. The brain loves to shift into the unconscious while we are doing our routine tasks, like brushing our teeth or driving to work. How many times have you pulled into your work parking lot and barely remember the drive. This is partly because your brain was on autopilot or unconscious for part of the drive. You were only forced into full consciousness when your eyes saw a red light, heard a horn, or sensed danger. During this time, when we are operating on autopilot, the MonkeyBrain loves to come out and play. Remember, the MonkeyBrain recalls everything that we experience that is of pain. It includes legitimate and psychological pain and fear (emotional memory). Let me remind you that most stressful thoughts are attached to pain and fear in some way. Emotional memory resides in our thoughts. These thoughts are not really happening, but thinking so can make it feel that way.
You may be asking now, "Is It possible to get rid of this inner voice?" The answer is no. However, we can reduce the brain chatter and change the content. It is also why this voice has been called the pain ego. I first learned of this from the book A New Earth, written by Eckart Tolle. Tolle identifies this voice as the pain ego since it is the inner dialog that loves to relive pain, drama, or trauma of any kind. Tolle's book changed my way of thinking so much. I recommend that you read it. I was unaware that I could choose to change the content of my brain's chatter. After learning this, I was then able to allow the voice to be heard and could make a conscious choice to bring myself back to the moment by shifting to another thought or mood that I wanted to have. This shifting is also known as reframing or reappraisal.
For example, one day, I was reliving an emotional experience in my head that was causing me to feel bad. I call this story MonkeyBrain in the Rain. My brain was reliving an emotional experience that caused me heartache. I felt wronged, and I just wanted to tell the person what I was feeling. In this case, there was no communication and therefore no closure. My thoughts were completely ego driven, and I just wanted the other person to feel the same pain that I was experiencing. Once I became aware that my brain was obsessing, I literally told myself to stop it, to shut up. This glimpse of awareness allowed me to just be in the moment, the present, outside of my thoughts. On this particular day, it was raining very hard, and I put all of my attention on the rain and the sound. For a few minutes, I just listened to the sound and watched the drops fall. I was outside my MonkeyBrain the entire time—no thoughts of the emotional memory. As a matter of fact, I had no thoughts at all, just the sound of the rain. It was just peaceful being in that moment. Unfortunately, as soon as I took my attention away from the rain just for a split second, my MonkeyBrain pulled me back into the drama, and once again, I was reliving that painful experience. It was like a wild monkey swinging from limb to limb, pulling another painful emotion with each swing. But I pulled myself back to the moment again, focused on the rain, and again, I was out of my thinking brain and the emotional pain. Thinking and talking about our problems is our greatest addiction, and that addiction can be just as harmful to our health as any other,
This experience proved to me that we can choose to get out of our emotional pain by being in the present, and that alone stops the brain from thinking about the painful or stressful situation. I learned that I had the control to patrol the inner dialogue in my head, and I slowly began to change the chatter's content. We must first become aware of the thoughts in our head, because then we can patrol what the brain is thinking about. This simple awareness that the brain's chatter was just that, brain chatter based on memory, allowed me to hear the chatter for what it was and to make a conscious choice to change the content. If I were having a thought of something that I didn't want, such as, stress, resentment, or failure, I just began to think of what I did want. For example, if a thought arises of a past event that caused stress, we can choose to direct the next thought to the solution of that stressful event.
Although we cannot change the past event, we can now change the way we think and feel about it. This inner dialogue is much different than being in a situation where the chaos is being caused by another person or an outside source, such as an angry spouse or child or annoying co-worker. This is just...
