Faced with multiple choices regarding school, friends, and activities coupled with the ever-widening influence of the outside world, parents of 6-12 year olds need help. America's nanny is back to offer a large dose of healthy parenting advice with secrets for raising happy, secure, and well-balanced children.

NANNY TO RESCUE AGAIN!

By MICHELLE R. LAROWE

W Publishing Group

Copyright © 2007 Michelle R. Larowe
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-8499-1244-3

Contents

Acknowledgments................................................................................................ixIntroduction...................................................................................................xiSECTION ONE You Brought This Child into the World ... Now You Have to Let Him Go (Yikes!)1. Separating with Sanity......................................................................................32. Where Did That Come From?...................................................................................213. Why Can't I? Her Mother Lets Her Do It!.....................................................................39SECTION TWO School Days, Play Days4. The Great School Debate.....................................................................................595. Learning Logic, Homework Hassles, and Teacher Tactics.......................................................776. Planning Perfect Playdates..................................................................................897. Playground Politics and Personality Conflicts...............................................................1018. Friendship Factors..........................................................................................1159. Taking a Bite out of Bullying...............................................................................12710. The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Defeat..............................................................139SECTION THREE Help for the Home Front11. Can't Stop, Wanna Drop?....................................................................................15512. Allowance, Chores, and Other Money Matters.................................................................16513. What's Happening to My Body?...............................................................................17514. Virtues to Grow On.........................................................................................191Michelle's Problemossary: Backtalk and Other Unwanted Gifts from A to Z........................................201Wrap Up!.......................................................................................................231Recommended Reading............................................................................................233Notes..........................................................................................................235About the Author...............................................................................................239

Chapter One

SEPARATING WITH SANITY

Scene 1: Take 1 The First Day of School

Mom. It's going to be OK, Zachary. You'll have a great first day of school. (Her voice quivers, and her smile is weak.)

Zach, nonchalantly. Yup! I can't wait! (He walks into school with a spring in his step.)

Mom, following close behind, trying to keep up with her son. How about a hug and a kiss for Mommy?

Zach. Mom, you don't have to walk me inside, you know. I know where my classroom is. (He blows a kiss her in direction and turns to greet his friends with a smile.)

MOM, fighting off the tears. OK, honey, I'll pick you up right outside at three o'clock.

Zach. OK! Bye, Mom!

Mom, turns and slowly exits the school building. Then spying a group of other moms chatting out front, she joins them. Why do they have to grow up so fast? I never thought the day would come that he wouldn't need me, never mind want me!

Second Mom, moving to console her. Sooner or later, all mothers experience this moment of no longer feeling needed by their kids. Today appears to be your day. It's a bit of a shock, isn't it?

(Unable to form the words through the lump in her throat, Zach's mom simply nods.)

Whether your day has come or is soon approaching-indeed, someday the realization hits: you and your child are two independent people who are in the process of learning to function without being attached at the hip. Since you literally carried the little tykes inside your womb, then in your arms, followed by years of having the pitter-patter of their feet right behind yours, it's no wonder that something as simple as dropping them off at school can feel like an amputation of sorts! No matter how much you might have wished for a few hours of alone time, there's a transition period where most moms feel a real loss. And it's especially potent with the first and last child!

Long gone are the days of spoon-feeding your toddler or tying your preschooler's shoes. If you've done your job well, your child started with, "I can do it myself!" and has now begun saying, "I don't want you to walk me into school today; I'm a big boy." It's bittersweet, isn't it? We want them to fly, and yet ... we miss having them next to us, safe in the nest.

Getting Kids Ready for the Big Leagues

It seems like just yesterday you were holding your child's hands as he learned to steadily walk the length of a field. He needed you to support him, to pick him up when he fell down. But it's a new game now. You are no longer playing backyard ball, where you can run in and call a time-out anytime you choose. Your job, at this point, is to cheer your little batter as he steps up to the plate. You can't hold his hands as he swings at the ball. (Well, you could, but your child would suffer untold embarrassment by his peers for the rest of his school life.)

He has to try; he must let the proverbial ball fly fair (or foul) on his own. You can, however, observe the play (the good, the bad, and the ugly) and take mental notes. Once the game is over-and when your child is receptive and asks for comments-you can encourage and advise.

All healthy parents gradually move from the role of a full-time, hands-on coach to more of a consultant and comforter. It doesn't happen all at once, thank goodness. And your children will always love and need you at some level for the rest of their lives.

Practice Will Pay Off

The ultimate goal of good parenting is to equip your children with the knowledge, life skills, and confidence to make healthy choices. As parents, you want to train your kids so their default behavior is kind, wise, compassionate, and fair-whether or not you are watching. A tall order, you say? Yep, it is. And of course, your child will try and fail and then get back in the game and try again ... many times. Growing up isn't easy for any of us. But without the testing ground of real life, most of us would not have matured. The playground is a laboratory for real life. It is where we learned cooperation on a seesaw, how to handle (or avoid) bullies, and how to go down a slide without getting burned.

If you've done your job well to this point (and most parents who care enough to read a book on parenting are in that category), do not fear: your child will enter her elementary-school years with your voice in her ear. I'm an adult, and I still hear my mother's voice in my head whenever I'm tempted to go in a counterproductive direction! I bet you do too. (I have a friend who tells me she even hears her mother whisper, "Get the double rolls; it saves time and money in the long run!" when she's shopping for toilet paper and tempted to go the cheap route.)

So although you may not hold your child's physical hand...