America's nanny offers a large dose of healthy parenting advice with secrets for raising happy, secure, and well-balanced babies and toddlers.
Babies don't come with instructions. And since today's parents are so overwhelmed with schedules and demands, they have little time to bone up on their parenting skills. Often removed from grandparents and relatives who in times past lived next door or just down the street, they have no one to guide them through the disorienting world of raising children. Enter Nanny to the Rescue! Michelle LaRowe, 2004 International Nanny Association "Nanny of the Year," gives her tried and true solutions to childcare. Her expertise with chapters titled "Who's the boss?" and "Discipline is not a four letter word" gives confidence to parents who need specific ideas for real day-to-day problems. A proud member of Christian Nannies, Michelle offers foundational truths sure to help encourge moms and dads.
NANNY TO THE RESCUE!
STRAIGHT TALK & SUPER TIPS FOR PARENTING IN THE EARLY YEARSBy MICHELLE R. LAROWEW Publishing Group
Copyright © 2007 Michelle R. Larowe
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-0-8499-1232-0Contents
Acknowledgments..................................................................ixIntroduction.....................................................................xiSECTION ONE The Basics of Great Parenting1. Who's the Boss?...............................................................32. The Five Cs of Successful Parenting...........................................153. Mom & Dad, Inc................................................................294. Discipline Is Not a Four-Letter Word..........................................395. Be Positive, Practical, and Proactive.........................................51SECTION TWO Practical Helps for Common Parenting Challenges6. Getting Your Infant to Sleep..................................................637. Sleep Issues for Toddlers and Preschoolers....................................778. Popsicles for Breakfast and Other Nanny No-Nos................................899. It's My Potty, and I'll Cry If I Want To!.....................................10110. Throwing Fits No More........................................................11111. Taking a Bite out of Biting..................................................12112. The Great Pacifier Debate....................................................12913. Taking Time for Time-Outs....................................................13914. Is There Something Wrong with My Kid?........................................15315. Teaching Children to Share...................................................16516. Chores and More!.............................................................17317. Sibling Rivalry or Revelry?..................................................18318. Taming the "Me Monster"......................................................191SECTION THREE Embracing the Joys of Parenting19. Big Questions from Little Mouths.............................................20520. A Lifelong Love of Learning..................................................21921. You Are Awesome!.............................................................23122. A Pep Talk for Parents.......................................................241Notes............................................................................247Recommended Reading..............................................................249About the Author.................................................................251
Chapter One
WHO'S THE BOSS?
Scene 1: Take 1 At the Playground
Mom. Allie, it's time to go.
Allie, pouting. But, Mommy, I don't wanna go!
Mom. We need to leave in five minutes. (Five minutes pass.)
Mom. OK, sugar, time's up. Let's go.
Allie. No! I don't wanna go home!
Mom. OK, five more minutes. That's it. (Five minutes pass.)
Mom. Allie, time's up. No more minutes left.
Allie. I'm not done playing!
Mom, taking a deep, aggravated breath. Fine. You tell me when you're done. (Ten minutes pass.)
Mom. I've waited long enough. I'm going to leave you here if you don't come with me right now.
Allie, stamping feet. I'm not going!
Mom, walking away. Fine. Stay here, then. Bye!
Allie, screaming. Mommy! Mommy!
Mom, walking back, irritated. If you would listen to me the first time, we wouldn't have to keep going through this frustration! (She picks up Allie and carries her to the car.)
Why does it seem that parents today are afraid to be parents? When did it become more acceptable to be a child's best friend instead of her mom or dad? In our society, many parents have lost touch with the simple, profound commission of leading their children and confidently rising to the role of being in charge. In fact, some children have taken advantage of their parents' fear of authority and turned into pint-size dictators, having trained their parents to obey their every immature whim.
The Bible tells us that God only gives us what we can handle, and He will equip us to handle what He gives (1 Corinthians 10:13). So even though you may feel inadequate for this task, be assured that God has given you all you need to parent the children He has given you. You may need to learn some healthy parenting techniques and perhaps even overcome your own dysfunctional rearing, but within you is the miraculous making of the mom or dad who perfectly fits what your children need.
Build Trust with Your Baby
When blessed with a new child, most parents know the basics: you must feed, change, respond to, and give love to your new bundle of joy. Most new moms and dads grasp the basic fundamentals of infant care fairly quickly, but they often do not realize how important these fundamentals are for the future of their precious child.
When you meet all the needs of a new baby-feeding her, changing her, responding to her cries, and giving her lots of expressions of love-you are building trust with your child. Your new baby quickly learns that you are there to meet her every real need and that she is solely dependent on you. She begins to trust you from day one, and this trust gives her a sense of security. As King David, the world's most beloved psalmist, wrote, "You made me trust you while I was just a baby" (Psalm 22:9 NCV). When you show your baby that she can trust you to care for her basic needs, not only are you establishing your authority as a parent, but you are, at an even deeper level, preparing your child to someday trust in a good and faithful God.
Besides caring for your baby's basic needs, you can also give your newborn a sense of trust and security in the world through your body language and sound. I have learned over the years that the old saying is true: "It's not what you say, but how you say it." When you approach a baby with confidence, he will respond with confidence because he feels safe-and when a child feels safe, he also feels secure.
If you have ever witnessed someone holding a new baby for the first time, you may have sensed the adult's insecurity and nervousness. Now imagine being held in those same arms! How would you respond? Babies can sense nervousness and tension, and they respond to it accordingly. If someone was holding you and didn't seem to know what he was doing, how long would you want to stay in his arms?
So one way to build confidence in your infant is to learn to hold your baby in a way that helps him relax. He will soon trust that you are in charge and that you know what you're doing. Infants love to be held closely, often close enough to feel your familiar heartbeat. Sometimes all it takes to soothe your baby's crying is swaddling him in a soft blanket and cradling him in your arms, head near your heart.
Sometimes infants are overstimulated, and their crying means, "Take me away from all this chaos!" You will learn to decipher your baby's different cries. At times like this, turning the lights low, cradling your baby, and slowly rocking back and forth will do the trick. You can also gently rock him up and down while holding him. Babies usually respond to consistent, rhythmic movement. They also respond to consistent rhythmic sounds, such as "Ahh, ahh, baby," repeated over and over in a soft, reassuring voice.
Soothing your baby...
