Our Son Billy

When our son Billy was diagnosed as being autistic, we knew little of this wide spread, and increasing, condition. Since then, through intensive research, going to meetings and speaking with hundreds of others, we realize the devastation and heart break of this horrific condition.

I brought Billy to school on his very first day. He was soon to be 4 years old. Billy was hesitant at first, but as he was getting into the classroom he was really enjoying being around the other children. During the first few months of school, I would hide in his classroom from time to time to see how he was really doing.

Every morning, I would start my routine with Billy. I'd wake him up, get him dressed for school, cook his breakfast, brush his hair and his teeth, wash his hands and face, put on his backpack, and then Billy would always stand in front of the picture window and wait for the school bus to come up the street. He'd be so excited when the bus came to the house. He would throw his arms up and down in excitement and have the biggest smile on his face. And then I would walk him to the school bus, kiss him, and wait for the bus to leave. Mostly out of sight.

And every day when Billy came home from school, I would always have a snack ready for him. While he was eating, I would read everything the teachers sent home in the book bag. For the first few years, the teachers would send home a progress report for that day. How your child did that day. What he or she responded to and what they didn't; then I would spend more time with him in that particular area. In each class there would be one teacher and at least one teacher's aide. I would also continue with whatever else they were teaching that day.

However, we all started to notice that the following day reports were on subjects totally different from the day before. They were teaching these classes like a regular class room instead of a special needs class.

Most special needs children cannot comprehend anything as fast as a child in a regular class room. I realize that they have to move on, but really as soon as the next day! From what we have experienced from talking with several other people from different areas, a lot of the teachers aren't really qualified to teach special needs. I don't think they're bad teachers, just not special needs teachers. And some teachers do not have the patience needed to teach them.

A lot of special needs children need one on one. That's why there's a teacher aide in the classroom. Also special needs children have very limited attention spans. Getting a child to stay interested for 10 to 15 minutes at a time is great when you are teaching them. I would be a great special needs teachers. I have the patience, which is very important. I would still go over and over and over the same thing until I feel that he has grasped the concept.

I realize that teachers don't have that much time, but from what I have seen, they could spend a lot more time than they do. That's one area where the teacher's aide is supposed to help. Most classes have between 9 - 12 children, one teaching aide. Some of the aide's Billy has had, would just sit there next to him, playing with him mostly.

I also feel some of the special needs children are different when it comes to their learning abilities. They may have a class filled with just autistic children. Even though they are the same age, and have the same disability that doesn't mean they can learn something as fast as another child. Every year Billy gets tested to see what learning age he's at, at that time. Unfortunately, Billy's been a few years behind. We learned that he doesn't mentally grow a year every year. In his case we were told he would mentally age hopefully around six months every year.

When Billy was in the first grade, we noticed the children in his class were being taught as if they were 5 and 6 year olds, when mentally they were only 3 and 4 years old. The teachers would go on as they would for a normal first grade class. One example I witnessed, the teacher was telling her class to draw a picture of their favorite toy. Really, was I hearing this correctly? I prayed not. But unfortunately I did hear correctly. There were 9 children in the class that day. And out of the nine only two children could talk. All but one of the children was scribbling on the paper. The other child just sat there. None of the children in Billy's class were being assisted. The teacher would lay the paper and crayons down in front of them and go and attend to something else.

Every parent or grandparent I spoke with over the years, tell me the same thing when their child starts school. When they meet the teacher for the first time they tell them in detail, about the medical problems their child has and that they need to be aware of. The teacher writes this in their chart. Then from time to time the parents send notes and letters or even calls to the teacher reminding them of their child's needs when they notice something wasn't done.

Unfortunately in Billy's case, he was progressing slowly. So even though the school system is moving him up every year, we still go over everything until he catches on and understands.

The school systems in our country are getting worse instead of better. State agencies aren't funding for special needs children like they once were. Billy doesn't come home with any type of reports anymore. Unless we call the teachers, or go sit in their classroom we don't know what's being taught right then.

That's when I started going to meetings, and going around to different schools in different states to see what they were teaching. How they were teaching and what products they were using to teach during the year. So we could go and buy products very similar.

How about the children who cannot talk? Most of the children with autism can't talk. Not one public school that I visited was teaching sign language or any other form of communicating back and forth. Not one. However in some of the private schools they do. However, most parents cannot afford to send their child to private schools.

I know they have programs on the computers now for special needs. And I think that's really great. But most of the young special needs children could care less about computers.

Why would you start teaching them on a computer when they are trying to learn in a different way since they started school. We bought him a notebook when he 12 or 13 years old I believe. He could care less. The more we tried the less interested he was. I'm not sure if the high functioning special needs child react the same way or not. I never witnessed a computer in the class room.

Most parents now have to buy school supplies several times a year now for their special needs children, because most of the schools no longer supply the necessary supplies that's needed. And if they do, it's not enough. I've seen teachers that want her class to do a project, asking the parents to help out buying some supplies. Buying learning...