In a faraway galaxy, a spaceship careens out of control as spongy shock cushions close around four highly trained officers in the Planetary Federation and Space Exploration. As red warning lights flash repeatedly, the spaceship crashes on an unknown planet, leaving the crew with nothing but a crumpled ship and a ruined vacation. Now, all they need to do is find their way back to Zarlleella, their home planet. After Khair, Jorl, Sam, and Tarla disembark, they soon realize they are stranded in the middle of a desolate landscape without a way to communicate with the Federation. As the crew attempts to blend in with the inhabitants of their new strange home, they soon realize that the planet is in imminent danger of a hostile takeover by the evil Surnanians. With the help of an eclectic group of planet dwellers, the crew soon becomes entangled in a dangerous, sometimes humorous journey to save the planet from an inevitable disaster. In this entertaining science fiction tale, an unanticipated chain of events sends four aliens on a wild adventure as they discover it may be more challenging than they ever imagined to find their way back to the life they once knew.

Now What?

By Barbara J. Hamblen

Trafford Publishing

Copyright © 2012 Barbara J. Hamblen
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4669-6420-4

Chapter One

Johnny, cocky as any banty rooster, strutted up to the huge front door of the magnificent Southern-style mansion. In a semi-circle behind him, nine people plus a big rusty-red dog made up a fair-sized, silent group on the large veranda.

Johnny kept his finger on the intricate bell button till the heavy door suddenly burst open and, huge though the doorway was, it seemed to be filled by a tremendous pile of definitely female flesh topped by mounds of variegated blonde hair.

"Johnny! My leetle Johnny!"

Johnny, who was about one quarter of her size, grinned from ear to ear and said, "Hi, Big Mamma. How's tricks?"

She scooped him up in a big, mushy hug. "You are the trickiest trick that's been here for a long, long while, leetle Johnny." She put him back down on his feet and looked over the crowd gathered on her front porch. In spite of her generously large and smiling mouth, most members of the group were more than aware of the diamond hard stare she raked over each and every one of them. Her gaze stopped momentarily on the three young men—costumes or uniforms?—could be either—and totaled up their probable worth, tax included. "Is this a delegation from the city fathers, or are they customers?" she asked.

"We need help, Big Mamma Alice, and I knew you'd be the one to come to—for a price." Johnny poked her in the vicinity of her ribs.

Alice laughed, patted Johnny's head, and said, "I can't refuse a smart little cockerel like you anything, leetle Johnny." She pinched his cheek. "Come in. Come in and tell Mamma Alice what you need. If I haven't got it—I'll get it." She caught sight of Rusty. "A dog? A huge red dog? That might be a leetle ... we have cats." Her laughter boomed out over the formal garden.

She swept them through the deeply carved double doors into a large, marbled, beautifully appointed reception hall where, from the far end, a wide, graceful staircase rose up.

About three steps from the bottom sat two Siamese cats. Rusty saw them the same second they saw him—instant cat-and-dog thing. With three leaps and a slide, Rusty was on the bottom step and the cats were near the top of the case. As Rusty gained the top of the flight, the two howling cats were through an open door with Rusty in hot pursuit.

Within seconds, screams from at least two females shattered the elegant calm.

One of the men in the group bounded up the stairs muttering curses on Rusty's head. Rusty's vibrating barks turned to howls, and the cats' screeches had reached a record-high pitch.

It became impossible to carry on a conversation where they were. Alice bellowed, "Into the salon. Shut the door. It sounds like a bloody cat house." Suddenly realizing what she had said, she roared with fresh laughter. "Get that, leetle Johnny? Sounds like a cat house."

Johnny laughed hysterically—partly at Alice's joke and partly as a result of the last few nerve-racking hours—laughter that could just as easily have turned into deep sobs and tears.

The group didn't get the joke and so looked politely at the two.

Through his tears, Johnny saw the puzzled looks on the others' faces, which set him off again.

"Jeez, don't you get it? That's what this place is—a cathouse."

And it was—for miles around, it was the most elegant, the most select, and the most expensive house of ill repute.

There were varying expressions on the faces of the nine. One of the women looked shocked while another curled her lip in disgust. The men were stoic.

Big Alice didn't miss anything. She boomed out, "Yes, a whorehouse." She looked up and down, with a calculating stare, at the one with the disgusted look. "Interested?" Saw her expression. "Too bad. I've room for a tall, cool, elegant lady type." Her piercing blue-gray eyes glittered. "Too bad."

"Now, my Johnny boy, what do all these people need, and how much will they pay?"

"The police are after them, and they need secret transportation back to town."

Alice had seen and heard a lot in her lusty life, but the idea of such a weird mixture of people, all being in the same bind, sent her plucked eyebrows hairwards. "All of them—together—and a dog? Come on, leetle Johnny, what for?"

"A great misunderstanding on the part of your police." Another one of the men had stepped in to speed up negotiations and to prevent Johnny from blurting out any part of the truth.

"If possible, madam, we also would appreciate some water for us and Rusty and maybe the use of the facilities?"

"That's easy." Alice rang a tinkling bell, and immediately six young lovelies, all of different sizes and colors, came giggling in from two directions.

"Listening at the doors again, were you?" boomed Alice. "Marion, close the curtains. It's more than possible that we might get some official visitors."

At that moment, Rusty and the two cats walked cheerfully into the salon together, evidently on peaceful terms, and another young woman came in behind them. "They," indicating the animals, "have decided to like each other instead of tearing each other apart."

The young man that had chased Rusty upstairs came in behind them. As he rejoined his group, he did his best to smother his laughter.

"Oh, and Alice," the young woman added, "I could see a string of flashing red lights coming up on the highway. I'm pretty sure I could hear sirens."

"They probably eez coming here—probably about theez new group here. We need to make some arrangements, and that may not be too easy—eet depends on a few things."

One of the men pulled out a wad of money.

"Well, that settles one of them," Alice said.

The sirens were getting louder.

"Okay, leetle Johnny, queekly—take them to zee bolt-hole." She noticed the concerned looks on some of the faces. "Don't worry—it's a secret suite that should be safe from a casual search. I'll do my best wiz zee cops. I'll send food and water. Hurry. Go!" She called the girls together and issued her orders. They drew the drapes in the dining room and generally made things look like any other early evening. She ordered food to be put on the table and had the girls sit down ready to have supper.

Alice stood at the huge window that looked out over the front gates. The red lights glowed, and the color bounced off the treetops. The sound of the sirens got nerve jangling louder.

"Quick, Marion, let's get ready to do a—a—."

"Diversionary act upon our dear Fritzy?" Marion suggested.

"Yes, and I bet good old Captain Fritz Wheeler must be leading zee pack. Ordering all zee red lights and sirens is the closest he'll ever get to being a wheeler-dealer."

"He's a little short in the brains department," Marion said.

"Yes, maybe, but he eez a good gringo." Alice sneaked a peek out the window. "He and his partner are getting out of the car." She scanned the room for any telltale signs of strangers and hurried slowly to the big front door just as the chimes sounded.

"Come in, come in, my mucho macho Fritzy," she bellowed out. "What games are you playing now with all zee flashing of zee red lights?"

"Hello, big Mamma Alice." He grinned with pleasure when Alice all but scooped him up in a large bear hug, gave him a huge kiss on his forehead, and plopped him back down on the floor.

"And who eez this cute fellow that came in wiz you?"

"That's Officer Joe Vallisio, my driver."

"Well, you grow them zo cute in Vegas." Alice chucked Joe under...