Inside Out

Modena Stinnette

ISBN 10: 1456701061 / ISBN 13: 9781456701062

Verlag: AuthorHouse, 2010

Beschreibung

Inside Out | Modena Stinnette | Taschenbuch | Kartoniert / Broschiert | Englisch | 2010 | AuthorHouse | EAN 9781456701062 | Verantwortliche Person für die EU: Libri GmbH, Europaallee 1, 36244 Bad Hersfeld, gpsr[at]libri[dot]de | Anbieter: preigu Print on Demand.

Bestandsnummer des Verkäufers 109289598

Bibliografische Details

• Titel: Inside Out
• Verlag: AuthorHouse
• Erscheinungsjahr: 2010
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN-10: 1456701061
• ISBN-13: 9781456701062
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Zustand: Neu
• Abmessungen: 229B x 152 H x 7 T Millimeter Breite: 229 mm, Höhe: 152 mm, Tiefe: 7 mm
• Gewicht: 181 Gramm
• Verkäuferkataloge:
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Über diesen Titel

Inhaltsangabe

This book is a work of realistic fiction, based on the factual life conditions of countless individuals to provide reading enlightenment. It is my hope and prayer that after reading this book society will commit to rethinking its look at ex-offenders and what positive impact they can bring to society--- if they are given a fair chance. Danielle grew up confused and feeling abandoned. She moved from place to place; first with her mother, then a group home, then her grandmother, then her father. She grew up feeling that she was unwanted by everyone. Her father and step mother struggled with addiction; her biological mother may have struggled with the same types of issues. She had to live with the guilt of fatal choices she made in her young life which carried through to her adulthood. Danielle struggled with addiction and criminal activity throughout her own life. She spent a large portion of her life in battling the judicial system. She endured physical abuse as a child and as an adult. Death seemed to frequent her life and all those she thought loved and care about her seem to pass away. Her life events seem to finally open her eyes to making a change in her life. When Danielle lost her father she wanted to get high for the first time since her release from prison. She didn't know what to do with her emotions. She sat in the cold hospital emergency room and thought about her life and what using drugs again would mean for her. She had come so far and she didn't want to lose everything she had worked so hard for. Since her release from prison she had gained her family's trust and learned to trust herself. Rather than jump up and give in to her moment of weakness..... she waited.... Danielle discovered that taking away the drugs was only half of her battle. She realized that living life without drugs and criminal activity was the small step to changing her thoughts feelings and actions. She just had to figure out how to make those changes successfully.

Auszug. © Genehmigter Nachdruck. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.

Inside Out

By MoDena Stinnette

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2010 MoDena Stinnette
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4567-0106-2

Chapter One

Inside Out

Pulling my life together has been one incredible journey. It's amazing to think that I spent the latter portion of my teens in prison and the major portion of my twenties, in prison. People ask what brought about a change in me when all signs pointed to my life ending in tragedy. I was tired of feeling like I was spectator in my own life. I was ashamed to have judges tell me I was a menace to society especially when my heart didn't fit that assumption. I was angry that a state paid attorney could tell me my life would never amount to anything even when I knew it would and I'd I would have to accept it. Some of these people say I created the monstrosity of what used to be my life. I don't agree with that. I am responsible for the choices I made but I am not responsible for what was inevitably the circumstance of a life I was born into without a choice. I just want to tell my story so that maybe people will believe that everyone that suffers through addiction, incarceration and other "not so normal" life conditions, are not lost forever. My name is Danielle Marie Parker and this is my life.

I remember being with my mother in a basement apartment. It always seemed so shadowy, dank, and cold. Mother said the décor was "early orange and milk crate." Our living room was small; we had off white crates that served as end tables to hold up the lamps without shades to cover the bulbs. There was one long couch in the living room that had to be covered with a sheet because it was red in color and tattered. The television sat atop four sturdy milk crates that were all different shades of blue. Mother draped an off white sheet across the milk crates so the color would not clash with the room. Our kitchen was a stone's throw away from the living room with nothing to divide the two rooms. The kitchen table was a piece of board that straddled six off white orange creates with a white sheet covering the wood. We had to be extra careful when eating at the table otherwise it would tip over with too much weight on either side. There was one bedroom with two single beds and one dresser with two broken drawers which I shared with my sister Bernadine. Mother and I would watch television and eat Ho- Ho's until my sister Bernadine came home from school or sometimes we would go next door to visit with my grandmother Burney, who was my mother's mother.

Next door at Burney's house it was well lit with sound and movement. It was airy and welcoming. The living room had matching furniture; a gold couch and love seat. There was recliner in the living room positioned directly in front of the floor model television set which belonged to my grandfather, Papa. The carpeting was plush and a lighter shade of gold than the furniture. There were two bedrooms located directly across from one another. Each bedroom had queen sized beds along with matching dressers. The kitchen was located toward the rear of the house. This was my favorite room. There was a huge oak wood table with matching chairs. The curtains were olive green and the floor was hard wood. The refrigerator and deep freezer were light green in color. In the basement there was a billiard room and a bar with high barstools. There was a floor model television back by the bar also. In the basement and off to the side was a huge laundry room with a table to fold clothes.

My grandmother worked 3rd shift as a nurse. I loved to see her in her all white uniform and white shoes. I made it a habit of playing doctor with her blood pressure cuff and stethoscope. She had the most gorgeous salt and pepper hair I have ever seen and moles all over her face. She was fair skinned and had a smile to light up a room. Papa was a retired railroad worker. He was so skinny. I never understood why, because he ate a lot. Papa was dark skinned with gray hair and wore glasses. He was kind and quiet until Burney and he started arguing. Papa sat around watching sports and drinking beer all day. Occasionally he would cook a t-bone steak. I have never, since his passing, tasted a steak as delicious—and he cooked it in a toaster oven. He said it taste better than broiling it in the stove. Burney was the greatest. I remember her cooking all the time while she sipped on her Christian Brothers brandy-a little "nip er snort" is what she called it. Whenever either of them sent me in the kitchen to fix them a drink, or grab a beer, I would be sure to taste it first to make sure it met their standards.

When I began school, I had to be around four years old during this time, I lived with my mother. Her real name was Charlotte but everyone called her Big Red. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever known. She had long straight hair, and skin so light it was almost white. She could sing well. Each morning she woke me up with a song. She liked Billie Holiday's, Good Morning Heartache. She played those songs on the old record player every day. My favorite song was, "My man don't love me, treats me oh so mean ..." I would sing that song all the time. To this day, especially when I have relationship issues, those words fill my head.

I enjoyed living next door to Burney and Papa. Mother often left us with them when she went out to do whatever it was she did. Most of the time, she would leave early and come home late. I don't remember her ever having a job, but she sure was gone a lot. Things were great during this time and all seemed right with the world. I would have liked mother to be around more often, but when she was around I felt close to her and loved.

One day my world changed. Mother and I were sitting in the living room while she braided my hair. A knock came at the door which interrupted our day. When mother opened the door there was a tall creepy looking dude standing there with a huge smile on his face. He wore a three piece suit and a fedora on top of his hair. He had scary looking eyes and a sinister mustache. Beneath his hat I could see his long hair was curled at the ends. Mother had not introduced us. Instead she sent me to my room where I stayed for the rest of the morning. They sat at the kitchen table and talked and laughed. I swear when I looked at him after he took his hat off he had horns atop his head and he was a frightening sight to me. From that day forward I was sent next door to Burney's every time he showed up. Bernadine and I named this creature, Dude.

Life was altered significantly for Bernadine and I after that man showed up at our door. We ended up moving across town far away from Burney and Papa. Dude moved in with us and now the room Bernadine and I shared had a lock on the outside of the door- and every night that door was locked. Our new house was decorated a little differently than the last. There were three bedrooms. Mother and dude shared a room and the other room was for Dude's business. I never quite knew what his business was but that room was off limits. The living room was another room that was off limits. It was decorated beautifully with all white furniture. Even the cocktail table and the end tables were white wood. There was a nice floor model television set in the living room that Bernadine and I never had the opportunity to turn on. As a matter of fact, Dude's orders were that we, the children, were never to enter the living room except to dust and clean up. We still had our same single twin beds and broken down dresser in our room. The only addition to our room was a small grey black and white...